Anybody in San Jose want to kick a dirtbag's ass for me?
10-02-2014, 10:54 AM
#41
Boost Czar
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Location: Chantilly, VA
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Incidentally, I handed over some privacy to TSA and gave them money so I could be part of their known traveler program. Because my time is often more valuable than my privacy, I decided this was a fair exchange. This week in particular it was quite relieving to spend less than 5 minutes from the time I walked in the airport doors to the time I was standing at my gate.
If I was a terrorist, or had something to hide, this would be the only way I'd travel as well.
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10-02-2014, 01:59 PM
#45
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Location: Tampa, Florida
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Well, something less felonious like asking each of you to take a dump in a box and mail it to him could be fulfilling in its own special way. Return addresses with names like "Electronics Depot" or "Order Fulfillment Center" could be a nice touch.
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10-02-2014, 02:03 PM
#46
ABC News at 6
Reporter: A little girl suffered severe trauma and is in critical condition tonight because she opened a mail bomb addressed to her father. ABC was able to get this *exclusive* interview from her mother tonight.
Mother (in "hell hath no fury" mode): I told Jerry to quit buying iPhones with other peoples credit cards - he's been stealing that stuff for years, and I told him it was going to come back and haunt him! Not look, my daughter's in the hospital, and the police have taken his *** to jail!
Reporter:Officers say a suspicious package with no return address was delivered to this front door, the same front door that had been receiving packages daily for at least two weeks. When officers entered the house, they found boxes stacked to the ceiling with new iPhones, XBoxes, and Playstations. High ticket items that could fetch cash premiums. The husband, Jerry, is now facing charges of fraud and identity theft. The origin of the suspicious package is still under investigation.
I do not condone violence of any kind except that which is reasonable to protect or defend life. I also do not condone vigilante-ism. Pro-tip: after you call the FBI with the address, call San Jose's ABC affiliate.
Alternatively, if you don't feel like pooping in a box, dump a protein shake or two in the sealed bag. Wait 2-3 days before sending it. Once it arrives at the perps address, it will be the foulest smelling thing this side of a medium sized seemingly isolated villiage in Liberia.
Put your empty iPhone 6 box inside the big sealed bag too, filled with a few rocks for weight, and sealed in it's own plastic bag, that way if the bag doesn't open when he opens the box, he still has to get through the deathly smell to get to your empty box.
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10-02-2014, 02:20 PM
#47
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This is genious - make sure to put it in a sealed bag, and glue the outside of the bag to the inside of the box so that when the box is opened, the bag is also ripped open.
Alternatively, if you don't feel like pooping in a box, dump a protein shake or two in the sealed bag. Wait 2-3 days before sending it. Once it arrives at the perps address, it will be the foulest smelling thing this side of a medium sized seemingly isolated villiage in Liberia.
Put your empty iPhone 6 box inside the big sealed bag too, filled with a few rocks for weight, and sealed in it's own plastic bag, that way if the bag doesn't open when he opens the box, he still has to get through the deathly smell to get to your empty box.
Alternatively, if you don't feel like pooping in a box, dump a protein shake or two in the sealed bag. Wait 2-3 days before sending it. Once it arrives at the perps address, it will be the foulest smelling thing this side of a medium sized seemingly isolated villiage in Liberia.
Put your empty iPhone 6 box inside the big sealed bag too, filled with a few rocks for weight, and sealed in it's own plastic bag, that way if the bag doesn't open when he opens the box, he still has to get through the deathly smell to get to your empty box.
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10-02-2014, 05:47 PM
#48
This is genious - make sure to put it in a sealed bag, and glue the outside of the bag to the inside of the box so that when the box is opened, the bag is also ripped open.
Alternatively, if you don't feel like pooping in a box, dump a protein shake or two in the sealed bag. Wait 2-3 days before sending it. Once it arrives at the perps address, it will be the foulest smelling thing this side of a medium sized seemingly isolated villiage in Liberia.
Put your empty iPhone 6 box inside the big sealed bag too, filled with a few rocks for weight, and sealed in it's own plastic bag, that way if the bag doesn't open when he opens the box, he still has to get through the deathly smell to get to your empty box.
That will get his head spinning.
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