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A brief history of modern cinema

Old 11-21-2011, 08:31 PM
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Default A brief history of modern cinema

Let us take a moment to consider all of the many wonderful and not-so-wonderful TV shows and movies of the 1960s, 70s and 80s which have, of late, been "re imagined" for the big screen, with functionally uniform results.

This sucked:




This sucked:




This sucked:




This sucked:




This sucked:




This sucked:




This had a few good moments, but mostly sucked:




This sucked:




This sucked:




This sucked:




This sucked:




This sucked:




This sucked:




This sucked:




This... Uhm. Hell, I can't bring myself to disparage the franchise. Let's just say that it broke tradition and felt a bit cliched:

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So, having established a baseline, I really, *really* want this to not suck:

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Old 11-21-2011, 09:58 PM
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The Dukes of Hazzard did not suck. Jessica Simpson is, or was at that time, hot.
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Old 11-21-2011, 10:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Gearhead_318
The Dukes of Hazzard did not suck. Jessica Simpson is, or was at that time, hot.
Yes it did, and no she wasn't.

This sucked:


This sucked:


This sucked:


This sucked:


This sucked:



There are just too many to list...
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Old 11-21-2011, 10:21 PM
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Top Gun did suck, and you must be thuper thuper gay. Look through the movies that are in your local RedBox, 90% trash.
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Old 11-21-2011, 10:32 PM
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If the new Muppet movie sucks, I will burn down the theater.
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Old 11-21-2011, 11:47 PM
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My buddy who is a retired Marine is amazed at the movies I haven't seen. He has to see everyfuckingthing. I have no affinity for Hollywood's pecker to be rammed into my exit only thank you very much.

This sucked and I've never seen it. And they made two of them for double penetration.



Loved the original but this sucked:



Oh, yeah. This really needed to be a ******* movie:



Really?



Who the funk are these punk asses?




Just fuking ghey:



Sooperghey:



really?



***** please... stop:


And who the **** is this tryin to be Speed?




It just ain't right. And I didn't even like the first karate kid...

I know of more but it depresses me...
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Old 11-22-2011, 12:09 AM
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I like speed racer
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Old 11-22-2011, 12:51 AM
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Old 11-22-2011, 07:49 AM
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wait for this "remake" to come out.



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Old 11-22-2011, 10:19 AM
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Ah, yes, I forgot about Speed Racer. Possibly one of the worst films ever made.

Didn't see the rest, but I'm sure you're right. And I was really tempted to add Knight Rider, though blessedly it never made it to the big screen.

For what it's worth, anybody remember Knight Rider 2000? It was a made-for-TV-movie / Pilot that never went anywhere. Still had the Hoff, and Devin was there at the beginning but they killed him off. Same KITT, but stuffed into a Chevy Bel Air and later a mockup of a concept model of what would eventually become the 4'th gen Firebird.


Originally Posted by dstn2bdoa
If the new Muppet movie sucks, I will burn down the theater.
Note to self: avoid all movie theaters near Big Bear for a while.
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Old 11-22-2011, 10:23 AM
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FWIW - I just read the NY Times review of the Muppet movie online. Reviewer thought it was good, basically a return of the Henson-era spirit.
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Old 11-22-2011, 10:38 AM
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lol @ modern movies. I can't say I've seen the new Footloose, but I know that the old one did not have explosions. I wonder if Hollywood has the ***** to remake stuff like REal Genius, Breakfast Club, Farris Bueler's Day Off, Heathers, Hunt for Red October, The Presidio, or The Russia House and how will they incorporate explosions and Megan Fox into them?
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Old 11-22-2011, 10:40 AM
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Originally Posted by xturner
FWIW - I just read the NY Times review of the Muppet movie online. Reviewer thought it was good, basically a return of the Henson-era spirit.
Really because the original puppeteers (like Oz) think it's all about fart jokes, kermit lives in a manison and has an ego and it NOT true to the spirit...
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Old 11-22-2011, 11:42 AM
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I will only go see the new Muppet movie if it's in a theater with a balcony from where I will be allowed to heckle.
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Old 11-22-2011, 11:49 AM
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Originally Posted by hustler
I wonder if Hollywood has the ***** to remake stuff like REal Genius, Breakfast Club, Farris Bueler's Day Off, Heathers, Hunt for Red October, The Presidio, or The Russia House
Movies which I saw in the theater when they were released are not old enough to be re-made.

Like California's fixed 1974 cutoff date, this is a constant and it shall remain so.
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Old 11-22-2011, 12:39 PM
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Movies they should remake:




just so i can yell "**** ya" after this:

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Old 11-22-2011, 01:31 PM
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Originally Posted by sixshooter

And who the **** is this tryin to be Speed?




It just ain't right. And I didn't even like the first karate kid...

I know of more but it depresses me...
I ate some funky mushrooms at a restaurant and watched this movie. It was amazing...retarded, but amazing.


Originally Posted by hustler
lol @ modern movies. I can't say I've seen the new Footloose, but I know that the old one did not have explosions. I wonder if Hollywood has the ***** to remake stuff like REal Genius, Breakfast Club, Farris Bueler's Day Off, Heathers, Hunt for Red October, The Presidio, or The Russia House and how will they incorporate explosions and Megan Fox into them?
They remade Thomas Crown Affair...I am pretty sure these will be on the table in about 10-15 years max.
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Old 11-22-2011, 09:11 PM
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The planet of the apes remake absolutely sucked, the original was ******* brilliant. For some reason every time I see it listed on the TV guide its the steaming pile of **** version, seems like its on every day mocking me.

On the other hand, the A team movie had its moments, I tortured my wife humming the theme for days on end before we went to see it.
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Old 11-22-2011, 10:53 PM
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Probably the only remake of anything I ever will like. Turned out to be mega win.



I hate going to see movies in theaters. I mean, I used to like going, when they actually had something to see. The last thing I paid money to see was Insidious and oh boy...what a let down..
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Old 11-23-2011, 01:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Joe Perez
Ah, yes, I forgot about Speed Racer. Possibly one of the worst films ever made.

.
I have 3 kids so anything that has cars and keeps them quite for 2hrs is a win in my book. I suspect our lifes are very different
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