Craigslist Unique Finds Thread (pls scrape)
01-15-2015, 10:58 AM
#467
Newb
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 38
Total Cats: 2
I WILL WALK YOUR DOG (Seattle)
Last sentence is priceless:
I WILL WALK YOUR DOG
HEY RICH-*** DOG OWNERS:
Are you at the office 23 hours a day in a coke-fueled effort to squeeze every last penny out of your 20's and 30's?
Are you going out of town with your post-divorce trophy-girlfriend to visit your slave ship collection in the Barbados?
Do you work for a corporation that received Tarp money?
I AM YOUR DOG-WALKER
I am the most radical, bitching, mind blowing dog- walking experience in all of Seattle. All dogs are STOKED when I'm around, regardless of breed or sex. Your dog is gonna be on me like Charlie Sheen on a **** star mad of amphetamines; when I'm ascending toward penthouse suite in your private elevator, bitch's nipples are gonna be ROCK HARD.
Do I have experience walking dogs?
I'M A HUMAN BEING, OF COURSE I HAVE EXPERIENCE WALKING DOGS. THIS ISN'T LINEAR ALGEBRA, FOLKS; ITS DOG-WALKING
Are you one of those prototypical American success stories who worked your way up from nothing to live the dream, and now you want to gloat over an Ivy League grad who has been reduced to posting a dog-walking classified on skeezy-*** Craigslist?
You can shadow me while I walk! Take pictures of my pathetic face as I handle your dog's feces with nothing but a plastic bag over my hand! I'll wear my Princeton lettermen's Sweater! I might even Cry!
Forget the agencies; I will alk your dog for less money, and I'm not some weirdo art school dropout who claims to be "in sub-verbal communication" with your dog.
I'M JUST A GUY WHO WANTS YOUR MONEY AND WILL WALK YOUR DOG TO GET IT.
Do I do overnights?
YOU BET YOUR BOATHOUSE, BUDDY!
I will sleep in your sweet-*** apartment and tend to your dog while doing it. Don't want my poor-person skin sullying your ostrich-feather sheets? I'll sleep on the floor! Don't want my poor-person hair secreting oils all over the pearl-white tiles? I'll sleep in the crate with the dog! Sh*t as long as I'm allowed to turn on the heat, I'll curl up in a ball and sleep in your sink WHILE THE ATER RUNS OVER MY NAKED BODY!
Am I going to steal your jewelry? No I'm not. Am i going to jack your electronics? No way man. Am i gonna eat some of your food? Probably, but nothing you'll miss, maybe an apple.
I'M NOT ABOUT TO TAKE A BATH IN YOUR FOIE GRAS, MONEYBAGS.
I'm a good guy, and I'm just looking to make a little extra cash by chaperoning your dog around your stupid white bread sidewalks. So if your interested in the dopest, most swagged-out LEGEND OF THE UNIVERSE dog-walking champion in Seattle, reply to this ad and we'll get started in making your dog happier than a Mormon on his honeymoon.
So act now, write me. I'm excited to meet you and your dog, and I'm sure as motherf*cking c*cksucking Sh*t that your dog is excited to meet me, too.
Serious inquiries only, please
I WILL WALK YOUR DOG
HEY RICH-*** DOG OWNERS:
Are you at the office 23 hours a day in a coke-fueled effort to squeeze every last penny out of your 20's and 30's?
Are you going out of town with your post-divorce trophy-girlfriend to visit your slave ship collection in the Barbados?
Do you work for a corporation that received Tarp money?
I AM YOUR DOG-WALKER
I am the most radical, bitching, mind blowing dog- walking experience in all of Seattle. All dogs are STOKED when I'm around, regardless of breed or sex. Your dog is gonna be on me like Charlie Sheen on a **** star mad of amphetamines; when I'm ascending toward penthouse suite in your private elevator, bitch's nipples are gonna be ROCK HARD.
Do I have experience walking dogs?
I'M A HUMAN BEING, OF COURSE I HAVE EXPERIENCE WALKING DOGS. THIS ISN'T LINEAR ALGEBRA, FOLKS; ITS DOG-WALKING
Are you one of those prototypical American success stories who worked your way up from nothing to live the dream, and now you want to gloat over an Ivy League grad who has been reduced to posting a dog-walking classified on skeezy-*** Craigslist?
You can shadow me while I walk! Take pictures of my pathetic face as I handle your dog's feces with nothing but a plastic bag over my hand! I'll wear my Princeton lettermen's Sweater! I might even Cry!
Forget the agencies; I will alk your dog for less money, and I'm not some weirdo art school dropout who claims to be "in sub-verbal communication" with your dog.
I'M JUST A GUY WHO WANTS YOUR MONEY AND WILL WALK YOUR DOG TO GET IT.
Do I do overnights?
YOU BET YOUR BOATHOUSE, BUDDY!
I will sleep in your sweet-*** apartment and tend to your dog while doing it. Don't want my poor-person skin sullying your ostrich-feather sheets? I'll sleep on the floor! Don't want my poor-person hair secreting oils all over the pearl-white tiles? I'll sleep in the crate with the dog! Sh*t as long as I'm allowed to turn on the heat, I'll curl up in a ball and sleep in your sink WHILE THE ATER RUNS OVER MY NAKED BODY!
Am I going to steal your jewelry? No I'm not. Am i going to jack your electronics? No way man. Am i gonna eat some of your food? Probably, but nothing you'll miss, maybe an apple.
I'M NOT ABOUT TO TAKE A BATH IN YOUR FOIE GRAS, MONEYBAGS.
I'm a good guy, and I'm just looking to make a little extra cash by chaperoning your dog around your stupid white bread sidewalks. So if your interested in the dopest, most swagged-out LEGEND OF THE UNIVERSE dog-walking champion in Seattle, reply to this ad and we'll get started in making your dog happier than a Mormon on his honeymoon.
So act now, write me. I'm excited to meet you and your dog, and I'm sure as motherf*cking c*cksucking Sh*t that your dog is excited to meet me, too.
Serious inquiries only, please
Reply
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01-16-2015, 11:59 AM
#469
1992 miata Sunburst
I didn't know the color of a car raises it's value $5k
I didn't know the color of a car raises it's value $5k
NO TRADE NO PARTING OUT FOR NOTHING. $8500 firm. Don't come looking for rides. I will not waist your time so don't waist mine.
1992 Miata Sunburst Yellow 1.6 5 speed trans 4.3 Torsen LSD
This is a very rare original sunburst yellow car.
117300 miles Car sits in garage with cover on at all time.
Oem Hard top with carbon fiber wrap.
15x8 6UL Bronze wheels
Hard dog Roll bar
Interior all redone by professional upholstery shop here in town. This car looks amazing. I have over 10k invested not including the purchase price of the car. I am not saying that to justify the asking price but rather to let you know the build quality and drivability of the car. I have owned this car for over three years and have loved owning it. It just sits here in my garage too much. I would like someone else to enjoy it.
Tags ares current and good till 10/15. Car just passed smog as well. Its ready to drive. Timing belt water pump clutch and all wear items have been done recently. Paint looks fresh and clean.
Please feel free to call me or text. I do not need to sell this car. So please look at the next miata if your looking for a cheap miata. This is a car that turns every head at a miata/car meet. Do not ask me to part things out.
1992 Miata Sunburst Yellow 1.6 5 speed trans 4.3 Torsen LSD
This is a very rare original sunburst yellow car.
117300 miles Car sits in garage with cover on at all time.
Oem Hard top with carbon fiber wrap.
15x8 6UL Bronze wheels
Hard dog Roll bar
Interior all redone by professional upholstery shop here in town. This car looks amazing. I have over 10k invested not including the purchase price of the car. I am not saying that to justify the asking price but rather to let you know the build quality and drivability of the car. I have owned this car for over three years and have loved owning it. It just sits here in my garage too much. I would like someone else to enjoy it.
Tags ares current and good till 10/15. Car just passed smog as well. Its ready to drive. Timing belt water pump clutch and all wear items have been done recently. Paint looks fresh and clean.
Please feel free to call me or text. I do not need to sell this car. So please look at the next miata if your looking for a cheap miata. This is a car that turns every head at a miata/car meet. Do not ask me to part things out.
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01-16-2015, 12:24 PM
#471
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
Posts: 1,187
Total Cats: 293
Original Sunbursts are bringing a premium with the creampuff collectors, but they want all original, stock, low mile cars.
A 30-40k mile stock sunburst could bring that price, but not that one.
A 30-40k mile stock sunburst could bring that price, but not that one.
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01-16-2015, 02:27 PM
#474
Supporting Vendor
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Lake Forest, CA
Posts: 7,949
Total Cats: 1,003
The stickers? diagonal windshield stickers are already idiotic, but can't we at least have them at the same angle?
No chips in the bumper? Looks like it's been through a world war.
I just can't. I can't. Why does this person continue to breathe?
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01-18-2015, 06:53 PM
#475
I just... I don't... I mean... I...
The stickers? diagonal windshield stickers are already idiotic, but can't we at least have them at the same angle?
No chips in the bumper? Looks like it's been through a world war.
I just can't. I can't. Why does this person continue to breathe?
The stickers? diagonal windshield stickers are already idiotic, but can't we at least have them at the same angle?
No chips in the bumper? Looks like it's been through a world war.
I just can't. I can't. Why does this person continue to breathe?
^Next time I'm at this renegade meet I'll try to snag some NA miata photos. More of the same...
Not sure but he means business. Sparkles and all.
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