drunken debauchery and douchebaggery thread
07-12-2012, 11:26 AM
#266
I'll tell you drunk bastards a joke. (2nd time i'm writing this ----... page reloaded and erased everything the 1st time after i was nearly done 
)
So this dude meets this chick in the bar. Gorgeous chick blah blah. They share few drinks. One thing leads to another and she invites him over. When they enter her apartment she shows him around. This door is for the living room, this is for the bedroom, this is the bathroom... she goes "i'll take a quick shower, i'll be back in few mins, you can go wait in the living room for me. Watch some tv or something." Dude goes "Sure np."
She goes in the shower. The dude opens the living room door, turns the lights on to find a giant dog sitting on the couch. He quickly turns the lights off and closes the door. 10 minutes later the dude is still sitting in the hallway the chick is still in the shower.
After a whole night of drinking cranberry and vodka drinks, the dude feels like hes gotta take a dump. Sits there and waits, 10 minutes.. the chick is still in the shower. 10 minutes later.. no luck shes still showering. Waits another 10 minutes and is about to ---- his pants the chick is still in the shower. Looks around the other rooms, nope no bathroom so he comes up with a plan. I'll take a crap and say the dog took a crap. He goes in the living room, doesn't turn on the lights or anything. He squats next to the couch and takes his dump. All relaxed he goes back in the hallway.
Finally another 20 minutes pass and the chick comes out of the shower. She sees him sitting on the hallway floor and goes. Why are you out here? He goes "I saw the dog and didn't want to scare it." She goes. "Oh don't worry it's just a plush dog."
)So this dude meets this chick in the bar. Gorgeous chick blah blah. They share few drinks. One thing leads to another and she invites him over. When they enter her apartment she shows him around. This door is for the living room, this is for the bedroom, this is the bathroom... she goes "i'll take a quick shower, i'll be back in few mins, you can go wait in the living room for me. Watch some tv or something." Dude goes "Sure np."
She goes in the shower. The dude opens the living room door, turns the lights on to find a giant dog sitting on the couch. He quickly turns the lights off and closes the door. 10 minutes later the dude is still sitting in the hallway the chick is still in the shower.
After a whole night of drinking cranberry and vodka drinks, the dude feels like hes gotta take a dump. Sits there and waits, 10 minutes.. the chick is still in the shower. 10 minutes later.. no luck shes still showering. Waits another 10 minutes and is about to ---- his pants the chick is still in the shower. Looks around the other rooms, nope no bathroom so he comes up with a plan. I'll take a crap and say the dog took a crap. He goes in the living room, doesn't turn on the lights or anything. He squats next to the couch and takes his dump. All relaxed he goes back in the hallway.
Finally another 20 minutes pass and the chick comes out of the shower. She sees him sitting on the hallway floor and goes. Why are you out here? He goes "I saw the dog and didn't want to scare it." She goes. "Oh don't worry it's just a plush dog."
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