How (and why) to Ramble on your goat sideways
07-16-2010, 09:50 AM
#1061
Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat.
He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''
She did and said, 'These are too big.
I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in
this family and I always will.' Ever since that night, we have
never had any problems.
'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..'
She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.' Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that.'
Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine.'
Mike did and said,
'I can't get into your panties.'
Karen said, 'Exactly. And if you don't change
your smart-*** attitude, you never will.'
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He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''
She did and said, 'These are too big.
I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in
this family and I always will.' Ever since that night, we have
never had any problems.
'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..'
She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.' Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that.'
Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine.'
Mike did and said,
'I can't get into your panties.'
Karen said, 'Exactly. And if you don't change
your smart-*** attitude, you never will.'
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07-16-2010, 10:11 AM
#1062
Wow, who says we don't need population control?
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07-16-2010, 10:35 AM
#1064
Okay fine, how about we build an island and move all worthless people there. Setup cameras and it can be a reality show for our pleasure?
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07-16-2010, 10:41 AM
#1068
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07-16-2010, 10:42 AM
#1069
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07-16-2010, 10:45 AM
#1071
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to
be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless
people.'
Her parents beamed.
'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have
to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50.. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs
out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless
people.'
Her parents beamed.
'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have
to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50.. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs
out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
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07-16-2010, 10:54 AM
#1072
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to
be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless
people.'
Her parents beamed.
'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have
to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50.. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs
out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless
people.'
Her parents beamed.
'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have
to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50.. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs
out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
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07-16-2010, 10:54 AM
#1073
Lmao ^^ nice one.
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07-16-2010, 11:06 AM
#1076
What are you doing?
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07-16-2010, 11:12 AM
#1077
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One last thing though, I agree with the Battlestar Galactica thing. I have not watched the series, and have just caught a glimpse of a couple of episodes. However I did see a scene with the fighters maneuvering in space, and though that it was pretty cool how they were showing the 'flight' characteristics and acceleration forces working. Much more realistic.
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