How (and why) to Ramble on your goat sideways
05-08-2010, 08:04 AM
#341
You guys are funny.
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05-08-2010, 10:29 AM
#343
The Racial Slur Database.
Slur Count: 2,649
lol
Oh, and I've found a new favorite "everyday beer" which is Coors Light.
Slur Count: 2,649
lol
Oh, and I've found a new favorite "everyday beer" which is Coors Light.
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05-08-2010, 06:35 PM
#345
Elite Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,642
Total Cats: 36
The Racial Slur Database.
Slur Count: 2,649
lol
Oh, and I've found a new favorite "everyday beer" which is Coors Light.
Slur Count: 2,649
lol
Oh, and I've found a new favorite "everyday beer" which is Coors Light.
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0
05-09-2010, 11:06 AM
#350
I was just bored and trying to figure out how to spell Habib (thought it was "habiib") when I found that site. I'm not a hater... though I can't deny how funny some **** on that site is. 
34 year old w/ 2 kids last night... ready go:
I'm on the dance floor, crunk as hell and I see this bachelorette party stroll in. I walk over and examine the situation and WTF, an ex is a bride's maid... okay, this'll be fun. I talk to her for a minute and she's all "I've got a b/f, I can't dance with you.." Yeah, bullshit you can't! I pulled her out on the floor and her friends followed. We're dancing for a few minutes and she pawns me off on her friend, who happened to be 10 years older than me.
EVERY ****** WEEK!!! Anyway, 34, 2 kids, blonde with the sexiest smile. I shake her hand and ask her name, "Lisa" she yells to me, so I'm like, "no no, you gotta scream MY name... it's John" 
then I kiss her hand and she was caught up, didn't know what to do/say but smile and stare at me. hahahaha I wish I knew where this **** came from. Thank you Mr. Jack Daniels.
Later, after her making several attempts to kiss me and pulling away as to tease me, I end up biting her neck and losing one of her ear rings. Jesus, I've never felt like more of a ******* rookie when that happened.
So I did what I NEVER do... I bought her a drink to make up for it. Bullshit. I hate buying girls drinks. It's not that I'm cheap, I just think it's a crutch/cheap way to get in. She ends up getting shitfaced drunk and losing her friends. She's unfamiliar w/ the bar/area so I'm babysitting her and she can't stop saying, "I'm 10 years older than you..." So, in an effort to test my limits I said, "What's it matter? You're going through a divorce and have two kids, I'm single and live alone. You're not looking to get married tomorrow and I'm not either, it is what it is..." After hearing that she gives me the digits. We find a friend of hers and the night ends at 2:30 with us going our seperate ways, which is fine.
Now fellas, I'm sure TX has the car scene, and FL has the beaches, but Cincy has some of the most deprived women on earth I'd venture to say. IDK if it's the men around here or what but every time my friend and I go to a club we are sandwiched between dozens of booty shakin women, living it up. Most "nicer" bars are like 60% women too. 10% douchebags, 20% guys with potential, and I think my friend and I make up the final 10%... we hit the floor and end up dancing with everyone, big girls, black girls, asians, white girls, old women, it's hilarious. We just don't give a ****.
If any of you are ever in town and want to play the game, please hit me up. MT.net party in Cincy. Bring it!
Cliffs:
Hit the club last night.
Been trying to avoid attracting older women and find some girls my age.
Last night this blonde was 10 years older, better luck next week.
She got sloppy drunk, but we had fun.
Made a rookie mistake. Made up for it.
I'm crazy but don't give a ****. lol
EDIT: I love this thread, though all of you have only seen my whorish contribution. Sorry.
34 year old w/ 2 kids last night... ready go:
I'm on the dance floor, crunk as hell and I see this bachelorette party stroll in. I walk over and examine the situation and WTF, an ex is a bride's maid... okay, this'll be fun. I talk to her for a minute and she's all "I've got a b/f, I can't dance with you.." Yeah, bullshit you can't! I pulled her out on the floor and her friends followed. We're dancing for a few minutes and she pawns me off on her friend, who happened to be 10 years older than me.
EVERY ****** WEEK!!! Anyway, 34, 2 kids, blonde with the sexiest smile. I shake her hand and ask her name, "Lisa" she yells to me, so I'm like, "no no, you gotta scream MY name... it's John" then I kiss her hand and she was caught up, didn't know what to do/say but smile and stare at me. hahahaha I wish I knew where this **** came from. Thank you Mr. Jack Daniels.Later, after her making several attempts to kiss me and pulling away as to tease me, I end up biting her neck and losing one of her ear rings. Jesus, I've never felt like more of a ******* rookie when that happened.
So I did what I NEVER do... I bought her a drink to make up for it. Bullshit. I hate buying girls drinks. It's not that I'm cheap, I just think it's a crutch/cheap way to get in. She ends up getting shitfaced drunk and losing her friends. She's unfamiliar w/ the bar/area so I'm babysitting her and she can't stop saying, "I'm 10 years older than you..." So, in an effort to test my limits I said, "What's it matter? You're going through a divorce and have two kids, I'm single and live alone. You're not looking to get married tomorrow and I'm not either, it is what it is..." After hearing that she gives me the digits. We find a friend of hers and the night ends at 2:30 with us going our seperate ways, which is fine.
Now fellas, I'm sure TX has the car scene, and FL has the beaches, but Cincy has some of the most deprived women on earth I'd venture to say. IDK if it's the men around here or what but every time my friend and I go to a club we are sandwiched between dozens of booty shakin women, living it up. Most "nicer" bars are like 60% women too. 10% douchebags, 20% guys with potential, and I think my friend and I make up the final 10%... we hit the floor and end up dancing with everyone, big girls, black girls, asians, white girls, old women, it's hilarious. We just don't give a ****.
If any of you are ever in town and want to play the game, please hit me up. MT.net party in Cincy. Bring it!
Cliffs:
Hit the club last night.
Been trying to avoid attracting older women and find some girls my age.
Last night this blonde was 10 years older, better luck next week.
She got sloppy drunk, but we had fun.
Made a rookie mistake. Made up for it.
I'm crazy but don't give a ****. lol
EDIT: I love this thread, though all of you have only seen my whorish contribution. Sorry.
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05-09-2010, 02:34 PM
#351
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Cleveland, Tn
Posts: 121
Total Cats: 1
The camping trip was one to remember....
We settled on a branch off the Ocoee River. Nice spot; with a place to climb right across from it. I don't do drunk night climbing, but Bob does. He got up about 100' and enjoyed a cig as he belittled and ridiculed the "girls" down at camp. Matt tried to go up but fell from about 8' then, in a way only Matt can do, he jumps up and tries to run at full clip across the "log bridge" slips and falls in the water. Now, not only does he have a RASPBERRY down his side, from the fall when he was inpersonating a climber, but he also has a black eye from hitting it on the log. It was easy to guage how cold the water was, because Matt turned into Carl Lewis...
I passed out around 10:30pm (i started to early) and awoke at midnight to shotgun fire. Apparently, Bob saw a mosquito. There were no signs of campers for miles, we were about 13 miles into the woods off of highway 64 at the TVA #2 generator.
Matt showed his *** numerous times, as did Bob. They were respectful when in the presence of the girls, so nuttshots and 'taint shots were suprises peeking out from behind the truck, or camper, when the girls were busy elsewhere.
We all got drunk, except for Britta and Jennifer; and only two gunshots were fired all night(Bob is a redneck from the everglades-thats his excuse). No one got severely hurt- well I did get a stone bruise through my flip flop, on my heel.
All in all, we had a good time. BTW we are quiet and respectful in the company of other campers, this time though, we had the woods to ourselves.
We settled on a branch off the Ocoee River. Nice spot; with a place to climb right across from it. I don't do drunk night climbing, but Bob does. He got up about 100' and enjoyed a cig as he belittled and ridiculed the "girls" down at camp. Matt tried to go up but fell from about 8' then, in a way only Matt can do, he jumps up and tries to run at full clip across the "log bridge" slips and falls in the water. Now, not only does he have a RASPBERRY down his side, from the fall when he was inpersonating a climber, but he also has a black eye from hitting it on the log. It was easy to guage how cold the water was, because Matt turned into Carl Lewis...
I passed out around 10:30pm (i started to early) and awoke at midnight to shotgun fire. Apparently, Bob saw a mosquito. There were no signs of campers for miles, we were about 13 miles into the woods off of highway 64 at the TVA #2 generator.
Matt showed his *** numerous times, as did Bob. They were respectful when in the presence of the girls, so nuttshots and 'taint shots were suprises peeking out from behind the truck, or camper, when the girls were busy elsewhere.
We all got drunk, except for Britta and Jennifer; and only two gunshots were fired all night(Bob is a redneck from the everglades-thats his excuse). No one got severely hurt- well I did get a stone bruise through my flip flop, on my heel.
All in all, we had a good time. BTW we are quiet and respectful in the company of other campers, this time though, we had the woods to ourselves.
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05-10-2010, 08:37 AM
#353
I am beat. Spent all day Sat. i nthe fun at Formula-D. Didn't watch much...well, watched it hoping the NOS 350Z would eat the wall...but didn't "get into" the action. mor less talked to the 14 billion people that I knew up there.
I skimmed $20 off some beaner that night. A friend an I stopped by a spot that is know to have people meet up thinking that a bunch of people from F-D would show up. Well, we are standing there and this old *** accord full of "immigrants" pulls up and parks a couple of rows over. A few minutes later I see this frisbee coming across the lot and heading straight toward our cars (he has an Evo RS) and before I could even do anything the damn thing slams into his driver's side mirror, bounces off and makes a b-line for my car, hits it and rolls down the parking lot. Mind you this thing was coming from about 50ft away and about 30ft in the air...it had some serious speed. So I start looking at the side of my car when this little fucken slickback comes over and starts looking for his frisbee....completely ignoring the fact that it hit our cars....so I remind him and he starts repeating "I'm sorry...I am ver sorry. The wind caught it and I didn't think that would happen" with a heavy Spanish accent. Right then I point out that it had put a dent in my car and showed it to the kid and within 5 seconds my friend points out the fact that he knows a PDR guy wou can work on it for about $30. So I look at the kid and ask him for $40...$30 for the work and $10 for being a pain in my ***. Well the little fuckstick said "I only have like twenty bucks", so I ask him if his friends will spot him another $20 to which he replied "well I just paid my friend $10 that I owed him and I don't think he will loan me money", So I tell him to folk over the $20. I hate lying *****.....hate them. This Mexicant opens his wallet and pulls out this folded up $20 bill....from between no less than a WAD of cash. So I ****** it from him and tell him to GTFO of my face before I call the police for vandalism/destruction of private property. He leaves. Right then I look at my friend and tell him "yeah, that dent has been on the car for awhile, I just wanted to **** with him for being a dumbass".
I skimmed $20 off some beaner that night. A friend an I stopped by a spot that is know to have people meet up thinking that a bunch of people from F-D would show up. Well, we are standing there and this old *** accord full of "immigrants" pulls up and parks a couple of rows over. A few minutes later I see this frisbee coming across the lot and heading straight toward our cars (he has an Evo RS) and before I could even do anything the damn thing slams into his driver's side mirror, bounces off and makes a b-line for my car, hits it and rolls down the parking lot. Mind you this thing was coming from about 50ft away and about 30ft in the air...it had some serious speed. So I start looking at the side of my car when this little fucken slickback comes over and starts looking for his frisbee....completely ignoring the fact that it hit our cars....so I remind him and he starts repeating "I'm sorry...I am ver sorry. The wind caught it and I didn't think that would happen" with a heavy Spanish accent. Right then I point out that it had put a dent in my car and showed it to the kid and within 5 seconds my friend points out the fact that he knows a PDR guy wou can work on it for about $30. So I look at the kid and ask him for $40...$30 for the work and $10 for being a pain in my ***. Well the little fuckstick said "I only have like twenty bucks", so I ask him if his friends will spot him another $20 to which he replied "well I just paid my friend $10 that I owed him and I don't think he will loan me money", So I tell him to folk over the $20. I hate lying *****.....hate them. This Mexicant opens his wallet and pulls out this folded up $20 bill....from between no less than a WAD of cash. So I ****** it from him and tell him to GTFO of my face before I call the police for vandalism/destruction of private property. He leaves. Right then I look at my friend and tell him "yeah, that dent has been on the car for awhile, I just wanted to **** with him for being a dumbass".
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05-10-2010, 09:32 AM
#355
I was supposed to go to the Formula d. That was before my friends got VIP tickets from their employers. My other friends already made plans. ****. Everyone I know pretty much got robbed so I'm glad I didn't go.
Edit: I know a kid that wore a home depot vest/backpack and got a media pass. He got good footage and ****.
Edit: I know a kid that wore a home depot vest/backpack and got a media pass. He got good footage and ****.
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05-10-2010, 12:46 PM
#358
I just watched the Sam Stout fight, I was really surprised he lost.
The Koscheck fight just started. I don't really like the guy, but I'm hoping he takes the win.
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