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How (and why) to Ramble on your goat sideways

Old 07-10-2012, 02:37 PM
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Originally Posted by pusha
my buddy's grandmother showed up. apparently he didn't tell his parents I was staying here.
Kinky
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Old 07-10-2012, 02:40 PM
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not really, looks like I;m moving back to Miami
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Old 07-10-2012, 02:57 PM
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So I got the broke vlsd out of my car, you can rr the driveshaft and the axles only catch about 1/4 of the full rotation of the ring gear. About to go pick up my Torsen.
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Old 07-10-2012, 10:24 PM
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yeah so today has been the most fucked up day ever
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Old 07-11-2012, 12:57 AM
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An open letter to people advertising late-model Porsches for sale on Autotrader:

The "Tiptronic" transmission is NOT a manual transmission. Cars with manual transmissions have a CLUTCH PEDAL and a DIRECT MECHANICAL LINKAGE between the shifter and the synchro engagement forks. Tiptronic transmissions don't even have synchro forks- they're just automatic transmissions with a slightly less efficient control system. When you list your tiptronic-equipped car and check the little box for "manual transmission," you're not fooling anyone. All you are doing is fuсking up the search engine and PIЅЅING ME THE HELL OFF.

You're lucky that I don't call you up and arrange an appointment to view the car solely for the purpose of leaning where you live, and then returning late at night to BURN YOUR FUСKING HOUSE DOWN. And I would, except that I have better things to do with my time. Like driving my fuсking Porsche that I can actually afford to own, since I'm not a loser assclown who failed at his marriage and lost his job in the marketing department because it turned out that he actually had no useful skills and had, until this point, been coasting through life on charisma alone.

Well GUESS WHAT, MOTHERFUСKER?

Maybe if you had some stones to begin with, you'd never have even bought this vehicle with a flappy-paddle gearbox that you now have to resort to sad, pathetic attempts at bait-and-switch advertising to unload so that you can write yet another in a seemingly endless series of alimony checks to the woman who had been cheating on you with you best friend since before your two pathetic, sniveling little underachieving brats were even born.

Enjoy your upside-down mortgage while you still can. The balloon payment cometh.
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Old 07-11-2012, 01:23 AM
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Originally Posted by pusha
I'm pretty sure Faeflora has been peed on during some sort of freaky sex ritual at least twice in his life
Yes, but not as some part of some stupid ritual. Girls are cute when they pee. Especially when you have the down-looking-up perspective.

I do pee all over my bathroom at work. I do it to mark my territory. I also **** my leg cuff a little bit too on purpose. That way, when i walk around the office, my coworkers can smell who it was, pissing all over their bathroom territory. They may not notice it consciously, but the do primally. This is also why i put a few drops on my boss's chair.

I also pee on my lawn. And my immediate neighbor's lawn. My friends can pee on the neigbors lawn, but NEVER on mine.

All of this is true.
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Old 07-11-2012, 01:30 AM
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Oh, and of course, I **** all over my girls on the regular. That is what bathtubs are made for. The fun part is doing it when they are not looking. Or not in the bathtub.

Lars. Why not get a NB like I did? Actually, if you want, I wi sell you mine. Has working ac and heat. Tight 6ul rimz and starspecs.

I do think that a ----- fresh mazda 2 would be kinda fun. Also look at hyundai. Not exactly "drivers cars" but very spiffy for the money. I have always been quite impressed with hyundai vs toyota honda mazda interiors and gizmos.
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Old 07-11-2012, 08:57 AM
  #13288  
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Originally Posted by Joe Perez
An open letter to people advertising late-model Porsches for sale on Autotrader:

The "Tiptronic" transmission is NOT a manual transmission. Cars with manual transmissions have a CLUTCH PEDAL and a DIRECT MECHANICAL LINKAGE between the shifter and the synchro engagement forks. Tiptronic transmissions don't even have synchro forks- they're just automatic transmissions with a slightly less efficient control system. When you list your tiptronic-equipped car and check the little box for "manual transmission," you're not fooling anyone. All you are doing is fuсking up the search engine and PIЅЅING ME THE HELL OFF.

You're lucky that I don't call you up and arrange an appointment to view the car solely for the purpose of leaning where you live, and then returning late at night to BURN YOUR FUСKING HOUSE DOWN. And I would, except that I have better things to do with my time. Like driving my fuсking Porsche that I can actually afford to own, since I'm not a loser assclown who failed at his marriage and lost his job in the marketing department because it turned out that he actually had no useful skills and had, until this point, been coasting through life on charisma alone.

Well GUESS WHAT, MOTHERFUСKER?

Maybe if you had some stones to begin with, you'd never have even bought this vehicle with a flappy-paddle gearbox that you now have to resort to sad, pathetic attempts at bait-and-switch advertising to unload so that you can write yet another in a seemingly endless series of alimony checks to the woman who had been cheating on you with you best friend since before your two pathetic, sniveling little underachieving brats were even born.

Enjoy your upside-down mortgage while you still can. The balloon payment cometh.
This rant made my Wednesday morning. So what model Porsche are you looking for?

Originally Posted by Faeflora
Lars. Why not get a NB like I did? Actually, if you want, I wi sell you mine. Has working ac and heat. Tight 6ul rimz and starspecs.

I do think that a ----- fresh mazda 2 would be kinda fun. Also look at hyundai. Not exactly "drivers cars" but very spiffy for the money. I have always been quite impressed with hyundai vs toyota honda mazda interiors and gizmos.
I want something new that I don't have to worry about at all. I thought about picking up some sort of NB, but really I just don't want to deal with an older car as a DD any more.

I checked out the Kia Rio and I was very disappointed. It could of been though the sale person who weighed 300 pounds causing the car to go slower. I am thinking about checking out the Hyundai Accent hatch, but I doubt I will go with it.

Today during my lunch break I will be going to check out the Mazda 2. I have several friends that have them and have been completely happy with them and they say they are a ton of fun to drive. I also should be able to get one out the door for less then 15k which would be nice.
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Old 07-11-2012, 09:29 AM
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Friend just bought a Honda Fit. He claims it's almost as fun to drive as his Miata.
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Old 07-11-2012, 10:06 AM
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Originally Posted by rleete
Friend just bought a Honda Fit. He claims it's almost as fun to drive as his Miata.
I have several friends and family members with Fits. They are a great car, I am just a Mazda person.
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Old 07-11-2012, 10:13 AM
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Last time I was in a Fit I thought it felt cheap.
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Old 07-11-2012, 10:16 AM
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I recently rented a Kia Optima sedan and it impressed me quite a bit -- moreso than the Mazda 6 I had before that.
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Old 07-11-2012, 12:12 PM
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so I just scored an unreal deal:

I get to live in one of my fraternity's off campus party houses for the rest of the summer... FOR FREE

all I have to do is get fucked up and entertain these children.

I am 24 and I'm never going to grow up.
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Old 07-11-2012, 12:25 PM
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A live-in frat wh0re. How nice.
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Old 07-11-2012, 12:34 PM
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^totes jelly that I get to be a kid for another month
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Old 07-11-2012, 12:44 PM
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One of you Cali boys should pick this up for a cheap track ****:

nasaforums.com • View topic - Porsche 944 race car for sale - $2000
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Old 07-11-2012, 04:47 PM
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ARGG it is storming out. This totally kills my plan of pulling my motor tonight. So now it will hopefully come out Friday.
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Old 07-11-2012, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted by pusha
I recently rented a Kia Optima sedan and it impressed me quite a bit -- moreso than the Mazda 6 I had before that.
What year model? I actually think the new ones are down right sexy cars. I'd daily one, I think.
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Old 07-11-2012, 05:42 PM
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Originally Posted by shuiend
ARGG it is storming out. This totally kills my plan of pulling my motor tonight. So now it will hopefully come out Friday.
I'm probably pulling mine this weekend too. We are so in sync
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Old 07-11-2012, 06:10 PM
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n*sync
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