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Old 10-20-2014, 10:25 AM   #22621
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Originally Posted by sixshooter View Post




^First I was like, meh. Then I saw it and **** bricks.
that was a week or so ago. we were actually in town, just not in SF proper. my wife was in Oakland when they were doing exercises prior to fleet week.

I choose to believe it was the air force (ok fine, navy but planes) honoring one of their fallen vets, specifically one very close to me.
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Old 10-20-2014, 10:58 AM   #22622
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Eagle vs MechaEagle:
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Old 10-20-2014, 07:47 PM   #22623
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Originally Posted by y8s View Post
that was a week or so ago. we were actually in town, just not in SF proper. my wife was in Oakland when they were doing exercises prior to fleet week.

I choose to believe it was the air force (ok fine, navy but planes) honoring one of their fallen vets, specifically one very close to me.
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Old 10-20-2014, 09:53 PM   #22624
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Old 10-20-2014, 09:54 PM   #22625
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Quote:
When a kid is being a brat in a noisy and public area, I casually get close to them and fart on their head/face. I’m really tall so it’s usually a direct hit.

It’s funniest when the kid notices and doesn’t know what to do because I’m a giant.

One time I was pretty drunk with a friend at a Target buying Risk. This little mexican 5-7 year old with a mohawk, was being an insufferable little **** in the action figure section. I heard him from like 5 aisles over and it was like nails on a chalkboard. I tell my friend, “I’m gonna fart on this kids head. Watch and learn.”

I saunter on over to the aisle in question and see the vile little ***** calling his mom an “idiot” for not buying him a huge G.I. JOE The Movie vehicle. “I already bought that one for you and you broke it by throwing it down the stairs” “SHUT UP. I NEED IT. IT’S THE ONLY ONE I DON’T HAVE NOW.” The mother was younger than me (I’m mid twenties) and gave a defeated look, “I don’t have enough money right now.” “YOU ARE AN IDIOT,” and continued to just berate and publicly shame this woman.

At the time, I was on a strict Chipotle carnitas burrito diet. And while I was watching all this, my stomach gave me an initial warning gurgle (very courteous stomach) telling me I was about an hour away from punishing the toilet. Serendipity! Destiny!

The kid shouts “F**K YOU, I HATE YOU!” The mom rolls her eyes and turns her back to the kid to ignore him. And could you believe it, the kid gets on his hands and knees and starts taking the toy out of the box. It’s go time, mother**ker.

I position my back towards him and at this point am like 2 feet away from him. I bend down to reach for the one of the toys on the lower shelf. At this point, my *** is INCHES away from this kids head.

I’m so close that from a distance it looks like I’m about to sit on him,. My friend sees this happening and can no longer contain himself. He’s covering his mouth, but his ‘hee-haw’ hyperventilating donkey chortle is fairly audible over the late 90’s pop muzak playing on the loudspeakers.

The kid immediately looks up towards the laughter, but can’t help but notice there is an *** now directly in his face. Now, I’m trying not to laugh but also panicking as I just made eye contact with him. He furls his brow and I look over in the mother’s direction, still back towards us. I relish in the moment and the look on this child’s confused and naive face.

The initial blast was mighty and boisterous. I swear I saw his hair blowing in the wind (so to speak). If I wasn’t wearing jeans, I think it could have probably blown over an empty soda can. I would call it “a very fun fart” (A++ would buy again). However, what immediately followed that out the chamber was truly horrifying. The fart’s implication changed without notice and swiftly. It went from a joyous, dry airhorn squeal to a nefarious, hissing mephitis. I think the little moppet noticed the hateful metamorphosis before even I did because he wretched his neck violently trying to get away from the personified evil being fumigated into his soul. Because of his positioning (hovering over the toy, hands and knee), it was all in vain as the only way out was forward…and forward would mean certain death.

In total, it lasted about 4 seconds but for that kid, it must have seemed like time was frozen. The long-term severe brain damage which he no doubt suffered, only added to that effect.

When I finished, there was a silent, pregnant pause. The kid was clearly shocked and stunned. No one had ever stood up to this dwarf sociopath in his whole life. I had taken the words out of his mouth and filled it with fart.

I make my move first, picking up the toy I was “reaching for” off the low shelf, take a few steps forward and stare at it for a few seconds. The only thing the kid could manage to do was burst into tears. My friend senses danger ‘the jig is up’ and his head darts for cover. The mom turns around to see her kid with an open toy, crying on the floor and me minding my own business.

She walks up to him and asks what’s wrong but the kid can’t speak. All he gets out is, “BAWAWAAAWAFARTBAWAWA.” It took every fiber in my body not to laugh.

Sensing that his assailant was getting away scot-free, he somehow managed to compose himself for a moment. He shouts, “HE FARTED ON ME!” I was ALMOST around the corner when the mom goes:

“Excuse me….sir….SIR!”

I turn around nonplussed, “Uh…who? Me?” while pointing to myself.

“Yes. Did YOU just FART on my son?”

Weighing my options, I played dumb. “What? I mean, I did fart.”

“On my son?”

“Well, I mean, technically speaking…I mean…what is ‘on’?”

“Why did you fart on my son?”

At this point the little kid has the look of schadenfreude on his face, happy to see me in trouble. F**k you, I’M A MAN! I WILL FART ON YOU IF I PLEASE! I turn my attention to the little kid and stare at him, “Because the whole store could hear him being a little, rotten ******* to his mother so I thought I’d come over here and treat him like one.”

The mom looks at me, her son and the scattered GI JOE/wrappers/box on the floor. The mom is puzzled as to what to do and says, “Just..just go.” That’s my cue! I turn around, walk away with little extra step. As soon as I turn the corner, I book it outside as fast as I can.

We laugh on the car ride back about the whole scene. With a slight hint of seriousness in his tone, my friend asks me:

“Do you do that a lot?”

“Ahhh, not that much. Like once every 6 months or so.”

We both knew I was lying.
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Last edited by GeneSplicer; 10-21-2014 at 09:29 AM.
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Old 10-20-2014, 10:25 PM   #22626
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Judge my pictures of Camino, CA while my family and I went to Apple Hill

Nikon CP S80 I normally keep these days



my shitty iPhone 5
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Old 10-21-2014, 11:14 AM   #22627
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One is very clear and colorful, the other one is blurry with muddy faded colors.
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Old 10-21-2014, 11:21 AM   #22628
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the iphone5 sensor is 7.61x smaller than the sensor in my Nikon camera.

That's why I can take pictures like this:


Bride with her Father by The Braineack, on Flickr


and others like this:

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Old 10-21-2014, 01:28 PM   #22629
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Old 10-21-2014, 02:28 PM   #22630
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Braineack View Post
the iphone5 sensor is 7.61x smaller than the sensor in my Nikon camera.

That's why I can take pictures like this:

(sharp, well-composed image)

and others like this:

(picture that looks like it was taken on an iThing.)
Wait a sec. Are you saying that a large image sensor placed behind a stack of similarly large, high-quality glass will yield better image quality in low light, permitting faster shutter speeds and requiring far less DSP-based manipulation, than one of these:



?

You're talking crazy.
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Old 10-21-2014, 02:41 PM   #22631
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Old 10-21-2014, 07:35 PM   #22632
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sixshooter View Post

FAKE. There's only one dad pictured.
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Old 10-21-2014, 09:07 PM   #22633
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Quotes arent working but Enginerd, some women dont get it..

0:46



Entertainment.

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Old 10-22-2014, 12:57 AM   #22634
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The glass is half-full.

Of urine.

And the glass is chipped and I cut my lip on it.

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Old 10-22-2014, 09:12 AM   #22635
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Quote:
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The glass is half-full.

Of urine.

And the glass is chipped and I cut my lip on it.
good thing urine is sterile.
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Old 10-22-2014, 10:12 AM   #22636
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Drone trolls topless sunbather


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Old 10-22-2014, 10:37 AM   #22637
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Braineack View Post
good thing urine is sterile.
Why do people still say and believe this?

From the WHO:

Quote:
People can be exposed to Ebola virus from direct physical contact with body fluids like blood, saliva, stool, urine, sweat etc. of an infected person and soiled linen used by a patient.
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Old 10-22-2014, 11:46 AM   #22638
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Old 10-22-2014, 12:21 PM   #22639
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Perez View Post
Wait a sec. Are you saying that a large image sensor placed behind a stack of similarly large, high-quality glass will yield better image quality in low light, permitting faster shutter speeds and requiring far less DSP-based manipulation, than one of these:


?

You're talking crazy.

photography is all about light. Larger sensors offer larger pixel sensors.

It's like trying to collect rain water with 20 dixie cups arranged in a square vs. 20 5 gallon buckets.

the smaller the pixel, the less sensitive it is to light and the more susceptible it is to noise.

furthermore, the more pixels the better the quality of the glass must be in order to render details accurately. Shitty glass on a good image sensor will result poorly because all the flaws are captured better, things such as Chromatic Aberrations or Diffraction, even motion blur.

The image sensor of the iphone5 is smaller than the 1/2.5" pictured. it's actually 1/3.2"



mine's the 35mm one.
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Old 10-22-2014, 01:00 PM   #22640
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Art deco in decay.




Art deco as performance art.
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