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How should a civilian properly address an officer?

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Old 05-09-2007, 03:56 PM
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Default How should a civilian properly address an officer?

My two closest neighbors are a retired US Marine colonel and an active US Marine captain. I have never served in the armed forces.

We’re all very good friends- to the level that on any given evening we’re all quite likely to be in one of the three garages drinking beer and optionally working on somebody’s car or motorcycle.

Despite this, I like to show a certain level of respect. I realize that it would be improper for me to salute anyone, but upon making first contact for the evening (and while handing over or receiving a cold beer) I will typically greet them either by rank “Good evening, colonel” or simply “Hello, sir” prior to shifting to our usual first-name basis.

Are either of these technically considered an “acceptable” form of address for a civilian speaking to an officer, or am I horribly violating a rule of protocol?
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Old 05-09-2007, 03:58 PM
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"wattup ******" or "holla *****"
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Old 05-09-2007, 04:03 PM
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^--- you owe me a new keyboard. lol.
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Old 05-09-2007, 04:03 PM
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Any etiqutte book should address this, If you can't find one online, any book store should have one you could leaf through briefly.
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Old 05-09-2007, 04:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Joe Perez
My two closest neighbors are a retired US Marine colonel and an active US Marine captain. I have never served in the armed forces.

We’re all very good friends- to the level that on any given evening we’re all quite likely to be in one of the three garages drinking beer and optionally working on somebody’s car or motorcycle.

Despite this, I like to show a certain level of respect. I realize that it would be improper for me to salute anyone, but upon making first contact for the evening (and while handing over or receiving a cold beer) I will typically greet them either by rank “Good evening, colonel” or simply “Hello, sir” prior to shifting to our usual first-name basis.

Are either of these technically considered an “acceptable” form of address for a civilian speaking to an officer, or am I horribly violating a rule of protocol?
I am sure they appreciate the greeting. If they are embarrassed by it, they will ask you to stop.
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Old 05-09-2007, 05:50 PM
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if i was friends with someone with some sort of rank and i would treat them like any other friend.
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Old 05-09-2007, 06:01 PM
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If you are neighbors and friends why can't you call them by their first name?
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Old 05-09-2007, 06:22 PM
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obviously he can, but he wants to honor them by following etiquette. Kinda how I call my profs, "Professor so-and-so," even though in CA, people are pretty laid back. One time one of my profs responded by calling me Mr. Yamamoto. Very witty that professor is.
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Old 05-09-2007, 06:38 PM
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I was in the Army way back when...Officers were addressed as Sir, and women officers, needed to be addressed as Ma'am.

IIRC the Nav/Marines might be different though, but 'sir' is usually a safe bet...

Last edited by Jefe; 05-09-2007 at 11:03 PM.
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Old 05-09-2007, 06:46 PM
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Joe, I'm a Navy LT, the equivalent of a Marine Captain.
There is no requirement/suggestion/rule/reccomendation on how the average civilian should address a member of the Armed Forces in the context you describe that I know of. I can guarantee you that they notice, though. It shows a certain knowledge and level of awareness that the average guy might not have or care about. Your recognition of their position also elevates YOU in their estimate. However, like you said, one "Sir" per conversation is enough... a "Howdy Neighbor" and a firm handshake are just as effective. We're just regular Joes too. We wanna talk about neighbor **** like everybody does, the race, kids, lawncare, etc... Hell, I'm on this forum and I hope everybody recognizes how full of **** I am usually.

I have several Enlisted neighbors, two Chiefs and a couple senior Petty Officers. I've told them several times that I'm just Sam... they call me Sir anyways, even if I'm just out mowing the lawn. Two doors down is the XO of an aircraft carrier... I call him XO or Sir (just twice per conversation, usually as a hello and a goodbye). Even if he's out mowing the lawn.

As I was thinking about this, I asked myself what motivates a man to look at another with "respect". In the context of this thread, I don't think simply wearing a uniform alone would do it. Joe, those two guys probably did something more to impress you than just wear a uniform. You must have recognized them for good people.

Now, to caveat all this and ad to what I said above, don't get the idea that military officers are anything special. We've got more than our fair share of useless douche-bags just like the civilian world. There are 1st year Airmen I know that are worth more than a couple of the Commanders I've worked for. I guess in the end, judge a man by what you make of him... give him the respect he deserves based on that.
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Old 05-09-2007, 07:11 PM
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As I was thinking about this, I asked myself what motivates a man to look at another with "respect". In the context of this thread, I don't think simply wearing a uniform alone would do it. Joe, those two guys probably did something more to impress you than just wear a uniform. You must have recognized them for good people.
Very well said.

I've saluted many Naval pilots that I cursed under my breathe. But the fact remains they had a much more demanding task (landing an F14 on a moving ******* ship) then me (fix the engine systems). I've also gotten yelled at for NOT saluting when walking around the base for the simple fact I couldn't distinguish on Officer's gold pin in the sun compared to a Chief's pin,haha. That only happened once, in A-School.

Regarding the hand salute, it's not used indoors unless you are reporting for Orders or on Guard Duty, and most certainly not used in civilian clothes, unless you're the Prez-o-dent.

I got nothing else to add except kudos to you Joe for showing some kind of respect for our military, regardless of whether you agree with our Commander In Chief or not.

Sam, what do you do in the NAVY?

-AD1 TO
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Old 05-09-2007, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted by samnavy
Joe, I'm a Navy LT, the equivalent of a Marine Captain.
There is no requirement/suggestion/rule/reccomendation on how the average civilian should address a member of the Armed Forces in the context you describe that I know of. I can guarantee you that they notice, though. It shows a certain knowledge and level of awareness that the average guy might not have or care about. Your recognition of their position also elevates YOU in their estimate. However, like you said, one "Sir" per conversation is enough... a "Howdy Neighbor" and a firm handshake are just as effective. We're just regular Joes too. We wanna talk about neighbor **** like everybody does, the race, kids, lawncare, etc... Hell, I'm on this forum and I hope everybody recognizes how full of **** I am usually.

I have several Enlisted neighbors, two Chiefs and a couple senior Petty Officers. I've told them several times that I'm just Sam... they call me Sir anyways, even if I'm just out mowing the lawn. Two doors down is the XO of an aircraft carrier... I call him XO or Sir (just twice per conversation, usually as a hello and a goodbye). Even if he's out mowing the lawn.

As I was thinking about this, I asked myself what motivates a man to look at another with "respect". In the context of this thread, I don't think simply wearing a uniform alone would do it. Joe, those two guys probably did something more to impress you than just wear a uniform. You must have recognized them for good people.

Now, to caveat all this and ad to what I said above, don't get the idea that military officers are anything special. We've got more than our fair share of useless douche-bags just like the civilian world. There are 1st year Airmen I know that are worth more than a couple of the Commanders I've worked for. I guess in the end, judge a man by what you make of him... give him the respect he deserves based on that.
I am from the Submarine community and we just call them newbie when they first show up. j/k, but a lot of Nucs and the officers that come into the nuclear field are right there at the same age, so we end up calling each other by first names out in town and when just ******* around. But when we have a job to get done, we go back to the sir thing. When in a casual environment, I would just show them respect by allowing them to get away from the military life and just call them by their first names.
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Old 05-09-2007, 07:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Joe Perez

Despite this, I like to show a certain level of respect. I realize that it would be improper for me to salute anyone, but upon making first contact for the evening (and while handing over or receiving a cold beer) I will typically greet them either by rank “Good evening, colonel” or simply “Hello, sir” prior to shifting to our usual first-name basis.

Are either of these technically considered an “acceptable” form of address for a civilian speaking to an officer, or am I horribly violating a rule of protocol?
The key here is that you want to show some respect (obviously you do respect these two men) and that you don't feel some sort of strange obligation to do so. I think that it's perfectly acceptable to say "Good evening, sir or Captain" or a simple "Hello, Sir." If it's a problem, they will let you know... I think it's just good manners. You can really never go wrong with sir unless he's 25 years old and you're 70, in which case Captain would be more appropriate.

Just my 2 cents... No protocol being violated in my book.

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Old 05-09-2007, 07:43 PM
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just say "Hello friend that risks their *** and puts their tail on the line to defend our country, whether or not they believe in what they are risking their *** for" and then hand him a beer. I am sure he'd appreciate that, much more meaningful than "sir"
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Old 05-09-2007, 09:06 PM
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I would imagine that they would likely want to just be plain old Joe. I do have much respect for millitary personel, they do their thing so that I can do mine. I actually thanked one for doing his service and shook his hand and he smarted off to me. I was rather disapointed and am kinda gun shy now to do the same. I think it would be cool to throw a Sir in there or their rank as a kinda playin around/acknowledgement of their service. I guess I respect that they get out there and do it. There are ***** bags everywhere but I still respect them for what they do for the country. And with the country so divided on the current issue the soldiers need all the support they can get from us on either side of the issue.
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Old 05-09-2007, 09:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Braineack
"wattup ******" or "holla *****"
hahahahalol :gay:
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Old 05-09-2007, 10:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Exhondaman
Sam, what do you do in the NAVY?
-AD1 TO
I fly the plane in my avatar... well, actually I sit in the back and pedal real fast to make the frisbee on top go around.
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Old 05-10-2007, 01:11 AM
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you nub
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Old 05-10-2007, 01:50 AM
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Well if it's any help my neighbor would make an initial greeting of
"Hello there Colonel" to my retired neighbor before sitting with him.
The rest of the night he called him frank and enjoyed cheap dutch masters with boxed wine on ice
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Old 05-10-2007, 02:37 AM
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We call my grandfather Colonel...mostly because his legal first name is A....so Colonel sounds a bit better than A...
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