Anyone else feel this way? Poll inside
 

You can just vote to protect your identity and answer.

Edit: If your not married or haven't been for more than a year, go home!


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dude, whats wrong with you?

Obviously no one really feels like that, its a comedy routine. Im very surprised a married man like you would be so disrespectful towards the sanctity of marriage. Your poor wife man.

lmao, you might as well have written that skit for him.
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nuh uh, dude me and wifey are in looooooooove.

i know this because per C.R., "if you aint never bought a shovel, bought a bag, practiced your aliby in the mirror, and the only thing that stopped you from killing a motherfucker was an episode of CSI, you aint never been in love"

So I am obviously very much in love thank you very much

^oh snap



But Rock is wrong, on a few fronts. You can be in control, you can win arguments, you can make sense.

You chose wrong.
http://www.qwizx.com/gssfx/usa/tpirhorns.wav

lmao, who was that for?
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God he curses so fucking much, god damn mother fucker.

You just wait and see.
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Sam, dude i dun told u, report back after yr 3 of marriage lol

Whoever chose a wife that made him feel that way. That's why you get to choose one and they aren't just assigned to you. You should choose a wife that wants you to be happy because they aren't selfish and they respect and love you. If you sold yourself short on that one, the horn's for you.

Cliffs: Don't whine if you choose a bitch. You had a choice.

They're ALL like that in the BEGINNING lol.
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seems like ALOT of married guys i talk to are having a hard time adjusting, so what was your secret to chosing the right wife?

Yeah, and it's hard to wear the pants when you drive a Miata.

lol
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Don't think that she will change into what you were hoping for just because you get married. And make sure that she is mature enough psychologically that she understands that you will not be changing from a duck (Joe Perez always comes up when I think of ducks now) into a swan just because you have a ring on your finger. Date for a long time before getting married and these things will come out. People who get married after two years of dating really don't know each other yet either. We dated for five years. All of the shiny wore off of the relationship and neither of us was going to be disillusioned with the other after that. There were no surprises left about what we were getting.

The other thing to remember is that most people ignore the warning signs of a bitch when they are dating. Then they wonder why they have one after they marry her. If she is petty and selfish when you are dating, guess what? And if she treats waiters and waitresses like shit, she will do the same to you later. If she is catty and vindictive towards others sometimes, you are next.

If she was raised in a home where the father was not respected by the mother then she will likely not respect you. That behavior was modeled for her as the example of how a family should operate and how the husband (or ex-husband) should be treated. If they always fought, then she might think that fighting is normal between couples. If the father was respected and loved by the mother, then she will more likely expect to do the same for you.

If her parents spoiled her and she got everything she wanted you are fucked. Run away. I don't care how hot she is or how well she gives head. Run.

If she sucks with her own finances she will fuck yours, too.

If she is irresponsible don't expect a partner you can count on.

If she's a little heavy, she'll be a lot heavy.

At some point after enough time has passed realism sets in and the fairy tale is exposed as a lie and you are able to get on with creating a better reality instead of escaping from it or searching for it. The searching will ruin you through infidelity. The escaping will ruin you through drink and/or drugs. Building a better reality to wake up in every day will make you happy forever and more successful if you are both working towards it.

I am a better person because she has so much self respect and drive, that it makes me want to be better than I would be on my own. I want to be worthy of her, because she sets the bar so high for herself. And she respects me and wants me to be successful and fulfilled. Some of her friends are jealous of their husbands having a good time. They are selfish bitches. My wife tells me she wants me to enjoy my life and the opportunities I have to do things.



You have a choice. Choose wisely. [/lecture]

I've been thinking since I posted about how preachy that sounded. I apologize for that.

Why is divorce so expensive?


























































Because it's worth it.

I agree. I dated my wife for about 2 years, including a fairly long-distance part for over a year. Also, I was 35 (she was 25), and so we were already past a lot of the immature stuff.

And vice versa. Marriage is a partnership. If you can't compromise on most of the issues (even just agreeing to disagree on some stuff) you won't last.

She is, but has gotten better; I've also learned to be less of a tightwad. Compromise both ways. And I knew she'd gain some weight (the mother is a good gauge), but I'm okay with that, as long as she doesn't expect me to be Adonis either.

Being older, I was more sure what I wanted out of life, and what type of person I wanted to spend it with me. I also am a firm believer that when you say a vow, in front of witnesses, you'd better intend to keep it. Part of that vow was for better or worse, until death do us part. I made pretty damn sure I was willing to keep that vow before I made it.

I have to say that so far, it's been a fairly good ride. 13 years and counting.

^lmFao @ sav



sixshooter u sound like u know a thing or two...how old r u, how long u been married?
some damn good advice, listen up people!!!

+1 that wasn't a lecture, it was something I wish I had drilled into me 5 years ago.
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Ah, it can work out. I met my wife the end of June, proposed in August (6 weeks later), we started building a house in September and were married that November 15th. That was almost 12 years ago.

It helped that she was 35 and I was 30 and the petty game playing shit was over by then.

Whos this? I cant tell, either TonyV or Phillatio?

http://shekel.cs.huji.ac.il/comics-a...06/caveman.gif

^ no youre not.

No, You're right. Unfortunately my join date is nearly 2 years prior to yours and now that I'm back on the forum, I can't post in the classifieds or send any PMs. I'm not new here, have bought and sold through multiple other people, though both my feedback and post count was deleted. I don't beleive there's a way to restore either. I'm interested in something in the classifieds, but couldn't even respond unless I had 10 posts. Thus, my 4 bs posts above.

/Life story.

Go crap somewhere else next time. If you only needed 4 posts you could have at least made a contribution to the forum with them. Perhaps in the meet & greet section? :loser:
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So much good in that post, it's amazing.

Were you Ayn Rand in a former life?

C

Amen to that shit. Which is why I can say I have been single for quite a long time, and surely don't plan to settle down any time soon. Too many fish in the ocean for me to settle on one thats going to fuck my shit up. The next one is going to have to fill out some paper work and be nice at the interview, because the last 2 were fucking crazy. And I feel Rock is speaking mostly the truth. If you deny it, you are either already whipped and blinded by her, or she is standing behind you watching you type...

I hate seeing people get married just because they think it will make things better. I don't really like marriage, and don't think traditional marriage works as well in these times as it used to. I have seen 4 out of 5 marriages around me fail within 2 years. Any that still exist aren't happy marriages. Why in the hell do I want to tie myself down to someone I know I will get bored with in a few years. People can't be happy just being together, somehow it makes them special when they sign a piece of paper that says you can fuck each others lives up when you break up.

Damn, man! How about sending a PM to a fucking moderator? I believe you can still do that with no posts. Or post in the "meet and greet" or the "front desk" section and detail your problem so someone can fix it. Thread spamming to post in classifieds is a ban-able offense. And it's rude as hell.

It won't hurt to wait for a good one, if you are shopping in the right places.

I think marriage failures are a result of several issues.
Selfishness by one or both parties is the biggest problem. "It's all about me and what makes me happy." "I know we can't afford it, but I want it and I want it NOW." "Well, if he can spend money we don't have on that, then I'm buying this for me."

Unreasonable expectations are another biggie. "This isn't how I planned it in my dreams as a seven year old child." "Isn't it supposed to be easier than this?" "We shouldn't have to do without the things we want." "You are gaining weight/are a slob/are lazy/don't talk to me enough/are not bringing home enough money/spend too much time with your friends/are always going fishing/are always on the computer/are always at the gym/are always working on that stupid car (and you were that way before you were married but she thought you wouldn't be once you put on a ring? How absurd)." Unreasonable expectations tend to go away as maturity develops in an individual (notice I didn't say "as they get older").

Bad modeling of a loving family unit is also a problem. Children grow up to either emulate their parents relationships and roles or to rebel completely against them. I talked about that one already.

People grow apart. That is the oldest one in the book. People are always changing and growing. I was a very different person in each of the first ten years we were together. And so was she. If you have common ground and a similar appreciation of the fundamentals that your understanding of the world and your goals are based on, you might make it through. You must have a common understanding and hold dear the same basic beliefs of family, morality, interpersonal trust, and, above all, respect for each other. You don't even really need to like the same things, but having some shared interests can make the journey more enjoyable and fruitful. Most happy couples have separate hobbies and pursuits.

The most important thing to me is respect. You want her to be happy. You want her to be proud of you. Her opinion matters because you respect her. She wants your opinion because she respects you and values what you think. She wants you to be your best. She willingly helps you if you ask. She wants to see you successful. She wants to see you happy. She would never harm you because she wouldn't want to make you unhappy. You want to see her needs met before your own, and she feels the same about your needs.

Sooooooo. Take the time when you are dating to study her for the warning signs and see how she handles tough situations. See if she is capable of caring more for your needs than her own. Find out if she will earn your respect and if she is respectful of you, herself, and others. Again, one of the biggest clues as to a person's nature is how they treat strangers when the strangers are in a subservient position (waitstaff, clerks, etc.) especially when the waitstaff gets a few things wrong. Is she gracious and forgiving or hateful and rude? Does she say "Our poor waitress is swamped today," or "That bitch won't be getting a tip from me." Does she give people the benefit of the doubt or does she always assume people have evil motives? Will she accuse you of sleeping around when you come back from hanging with the guys? Does she assist strangers in need or make fun of them? Is she kind to animals that aren't hers? Just clues. Nobody can be on their best behavior for four or five years.

[/Dr. Sixshooter, B.A. Psychology, Practicing Family and Relationship Counselor, Fundamentally Hates People in General, Kicks Dogs and Children, Smells Bad]

Heres a thought, why dont people go to a marriage counselor before getting married? You know, to find out if they are in fact right for each other?

A lot of churches won't let you get married in their facilities unless you have completed a multi-week marriage class/counseling session. But people are stubborn and say "You can't tell me what's good for me. I know what I'm doing."

Do you think for a minute that hustler would sit for a pre-marriage counseling session?

Well not Hustler, but good job picking the most unlikely candidate for marriage.

Most churches won't marry same sex couples.

HAHAHAHA nice.


Been dating my GF for coming up on 3 yrs. No plans for marrage.. but no plans on leaving either. Actually, we are looking at buying a house. Neither of us wants kids in the forseeable future.
We actually met on a mountain run when she had her MINI S....so at least she understands the car thing.

You're a lucky guy to find a good car chick. I am also a big proponent of not having kids right away, too. You need to learn to live well with each other as a married couple before adding additional strain to the relationship dynamic. Take time to enjoy being married before you bring demon spawn in to wreck your romance.;)

i met my gf in 1994-95. she's no more bitchy, fat, or financially unsound than back then... she is smarter. so that may work against me.

I keep dating chicks for 2 year spans and then they leave my ass. Well, technically I kicked the last one out in hopes that it would shock her into not being such a fucktard, unfortunately, she just kept on driving.... so I bought some TV Dinners and got on with life. I live alone, it's great. When I put things down, they're right there when I get back, when I want a particular thing to eat, I know whether or not I have any, and if I do, I know exactly where it'll be.

My current g/f and I have been together 2 years but she doesn't live w/ me. We've been on the edge of breakup for months but some how it hasn't happened yet.

The point I wanted to make was, I keep dating these girls who seem to REALLY want me to change, and after 2 years I think they realize its not going to happen, so they're ready to move on. IDK WTF to change though, and I guess even if I did I wouldn't want to. They both (my ex and my current) have complained about EXACTLY the same shit too, so I know it's a problem, but I've tried fixing "who I am" to make them happier and it just makes me depressed to live like I'm 60 years old and been married 40 years when in fact I'm 23 and adventurous as hell. My current and my ex, are both amazing girls, bright futures, and I'd say between and 8 and 9 (the 1-10 scale) depending who you ask. I guess I just have epic fail written all over me.

Yes, I'm whining.

A lot of interesting opinions and thoughts in here. Six Shooters got it on lock down. he sounds like he really knows what he is talking about.

My wife and i hit a bump early in our marriage, but things seem to be back on track. I think hitting bumps early wasn't the worst thing ever, it enabled me to go to a counselor and learn a few things about myself and marriage. Luckily we will be waiting to have kids and just enjoy life for a bit. She hates cars,sports and pretty much everything I love. but i just kinda go with it somehow hopping she will just kinda come around on some of the stuff.

I just broke up with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago becuase i knew it wasnt going anywhere and i felt it was time to start looking for a compatable match. Im 20 years old and she was 17. Overall she was a good girl but i just cant stand certain traits she carries ( from her father and mother ) No way in hell id marry her.

My wife and I have been married for 16 yrs. It is the second time for both of us. We have both learned from our previous mistakes, I think THAT is the reason it has worked out so well. Along with the fact that we respect and trust each other and don't try to control each other.

my wife is scared of me. it works well.

Your pimp hand is strong from turning all those wrenches.

she's scared that you wont drag your own ass out of the house to pick up her breakfast on the weekends!