Before I got Married
 

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate, because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her little sister called and asked me to come over to check out her car because it wouldn't start. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.' And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

ha... i wanted to respond with something clever but nothing comes to mind. good luck with that family i guess?

That story's been running around for quite a while.

I had your wife and her sister.

You chose poorly.

Have you seen them? :eek5:

What are condoms?

Nice story, I don't recall hearing it in the past, but figured it was a joke based on the condom remark, classic, very nice, I applaud.

lol i liked it, i'm getting married next month, never thought of anyone trying to test me till now, thanks for the heads up

look motherfucker, I'll do the e-thugging around here.






:giggle:

any kidney shots of either hooker?

Nice joke, made me laugh! :giggle:

Every time I've worn a condom, it always ends up coming off or ripping anyways. I just choose girls wisely and don't have to worry about it.

Vash-

you anti-condom guys are gonna be sitting around scratchin your dicks when you're 40 wondering what all the warts and sores are.

lol...

true dat.

Isn't that from a Condom commercial somewhere...I must find it.

I'm married... there ain't a chance in hell I'm using condoms.

Sounds like you either need to buy smaller condoms, or start dating hoes with stretched out bubble-yum va-jay-jays that won't stress 'em as much. You are in a tough predicament either way.

For the record, warts and sores are not a prerequisite for sitting around and scratching your dick.

http://www.jossip.com/wp/docs/2007/0...y-sitcouch.JPG

Dude I don't think that's something you want to admit to. :bowrofl:

I think the last time I barebacked it was 2001. :cry:

Yea..it is a condom commercial.

lol...yea like it just slips off :giggle: I meant take it off and throw it on the floor. Like as in feels better without it and in the heat of the moment....it comes off, but it was on at one point. And I don't sleep with hookers, sorry. If I see something I don't like, I leave it be. Fuck that. :bang:

Now again the forum takes talking about sex...to dick. Awesome :)

Vash-

Remember kids, 70% of people who get the Herp, get it when their partner has no signs of symptoms.(According to the damn commercial)


Doesn't that make you wonder about the other 30%???

http://home.maine.rr.com/mattyg/wambulance.jpg




last sat. morning for me.:fawk:

FYP.

Frank
<married 8 years>

Fyp?

Fixed Your Post.

See the original quote.

Frank

cmon frank, you sex the four post lift now.

lol

Is this a true story? This is almost as good as me hooking up w/ my boss and her little sister.

Enjoy being single. I always had three different chicks for everynight of the week that I could go out with. I just called the one I wanted.
It took two years to get that setup.

Then I met my girl, and it went down the "drain of love". I stuck with her and had mad passion and sex. Now we just fight over the remote!:hustler:

I ain't had any in three winter days and my megasquirt deficated on my Wbo2.

My brother asks why am I so ----.:fawk:

The fat chicks are starting to look good.:)

lol i woulda been fucked...already been in that situation...

i don't know man i always bust condoms too, then it's the awkward situation of who gets to fish around for the bits that are still inside.

You fucking idiots can't even operate a condom? Sweet jesus, I weep for the future.

I know... they should have some sort of complicated thing required to HAVE kids, not to prevent them!

maybe you don't know how to operate your dick

Works just fine, but thanks for asking.

FO SHO

No, your a fucking idiot. Learn how to use a condom. i dont care how good looking that tranny is.

listen asshole condoms can break, it happens, it's got nothing to do with knowing how to use it, i haven't used one in years anyway

You do know the rubber is only supposed to go on your cock, not all the way over the nutsack too right?

lol yes i know that.......now:giggle:

You guys do know you shouldnt leave condoms in your car?

Unless its the dead of winter, but based on how the chick in the story was dressed it was summer. So had the guy in that story actually gotten the rubber, he would probably have had more problems then just cheating.

Next time that happens make sure to get the serial number off the condom.

haha gosh u guyz im so above condom use, i just choose clean women hahahahahahaz

:rolleyes:

+1

Dude, you can never tell about women. They put up fronts.

Instead of singing "hammer time" we should remix it to "baby time". Woow woo woo woo, Woo woo woo, Baby Time.

Which lead to marrage, or CHILD SUPORT. hahahahha

NO LOVE WITHOUT THE GLOVE!

come on guys. women never lie.

You always need to lemon test that shit

That was some funny shit! I like the guy that was playing the woman at the bar. :bowrofl:

Girls on birth control that you don't meet out at a bar/club are the kind of girls I'm talking about. If you bring girls home from the bar/club...then you better have some fucking condoms! Its really not all that hard to sniff out a clean girl that doesn't have horrible intentions of baby making.

Watch, in a couple months I'll have sifilis and find out I'm gonna be a dad. :eek5:

Vash-