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Miata Turbo Forum - Boost cars, acquire cats. (https://www.miataturbo.net/)
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-   -   Dont even reply (https://www.miataturbo.net/insert-bs-here-4/dont-even-reply-36690/)

icantthink4155 07-02-2009 06:13 PM

Dont even reply
 
Dontevenreply.com
"This is a collection of e-mails I have sent to people who post classified ads. My goal is to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off. These are the ones that succeeded."


Barter My Whore Wife
Posted at: 2009-06-12 01:49:36

This one was a little tricky. If you didn't figure it out, I am both Mike Anderson and Kira Anderson.

Original ad:
i am looking to trade/barter my 1994 Jeep Wrangler. 140k miles, yellow, good condition. NO CASH. I will barter just about anything of equal value!
From Mike Anderson to **********@***********.org
CC: Kira Anderson

Hey,

I saw your ad for a '94 Wrangler for barter. I will trade you my whore of a wife for that car. She is a dirty little slut that fucks just about anything that moves. She doesn't really have much to offer, so I figure she is worth about the price of a used 1994 wrangler. I understand if you think she isn't worth it, so I am willing to throw in $200 cash on top of that. If you are looking for a loose whore that will give it up easily, my wife will be well worth the trade. Let me know if you are interested. Does the Wrangler come with a title?

From Jim ***** to Me

Ha ha! Very funny. I am married and don't think I would be interested in your wife. Thanks for the offer though!

From Kira Anderson to Me, Jim *****

OH FUCK YOU MIKE!! DROP FUCKING DEAD!!! YOU ARE SUCH A SCUMBAG PIECE OF SHIT I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!

From Mike Anderson to Kira Anderson, Jim *****

Fuck YOU, you stupid ----! What are you doing on the computer? I figured you were fucking Steve again. Or how about our neighbor? I'm sure he's looking to stick his dick in some rotten pussy. You fucking twat.

From Kira Anderson to Me, Jim *****

MIKE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE THIS IS IT. DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING HOME TODAY BECAUSE ILL BE WAITING WITH A FUCKIN KNIFE

From Mike Anderson to Kira Anderson, Jim *****

Ooh I'm real fucking scared. It might be kind of hard to stab me with 10 inches of black dick in your mouth you fucking WHORE

From Jim ***** to Me, Kira Anderson

Hey you two sound like a great couple and all, but could you stop including me in these e-mails? I really don't think this concerns me.

From Kira Anderson to Mike Anderson, Jim *****

TELL YOU WHAT JIM ILL BUY YOUR FUCKING WRANGLER SO I CAN RUN OVER MY PIECE OF SHIT HUSBAND WITH IT

From Mike Anderson to Jim *****, Kira Anderson

Jim don't sell it to her. She'll probably pick up a random dude and crash the jeep while she's sucking his dick.

From Kira Anderson to Mike Anderson, Jim *****

FUCK YOU

From Jim ***** to Me, Kira Anderson

Will both of you shut the fuck up and stop e-mailing me? Jesus fucking christ man c'mon!

icantthink4155 07-02-2009 06:15 PM


Original ad:
i need a ride from philly to bonnaroo in manchester, TN! i will throw up some cash for gas. i dont have that much stuff either. i am a down ass chick and will be fun to ride with!
From Mike Anderson to ************@***********.org

Hey! I'm taking my truck down to Bonnaroo and should have an extra seat. I'm planning on leaving Wednesday afternoon. Does this work for you?

From Katie ******* to Me

yes that is fine! thank you! where do you live? i can meet you somewhere if it is easier for you.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

I live in West Philadelphia, born and raised. I can meet you anywhere you want. So far it is me, you, my friend Josh and his friends Steve and Rob. It should be a fun ride!

From Katie ******* to Me

great! how big is your truck? i may have a lot of stuff.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

My truck is pretty big. It is a Mazda Miata and it can hold around 3 people. You will probably have to sit on Steve's lap. He's fat though, so it will be somewhat comfortable to sit on. Are you attractive? My only concern is that Steve may get turned on when you are sitting on his lap. If this is an issue, you can sit on Josh's lap because he is gay. The only problem with that is that if you are fat, you may crush him because he is a small dude. But if you are fat you can probably just sit on Steve's lap without him getting aroused.

From Katie ******* to Me

what?! how the hell are you going to fit 5 people in a miata? that isnt a truck! i dont want to sit on anyones lap.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

Oh, I get it. You are one of those Ford fanboys that likes to hate on Miatas. That's okay, I'm not too adamant about Mazdas. If you don't want to sit on Steve or Josh's lap, you can sit on mine, since I have a girlfriend and won't try anything. You will have to drive since my legs will be stuck, though. That's probably better, anyway, since my license is revoked until 2012, and I have a few warrants. Do you know how to drive stick? If you don't, I can teach you. You can pick it up in like five minutes.

From Katie ******* to Me

no im not driving are you fucking kidding me? this sounds like a horrible ride. ill find another ride thanks but no thanks. i still dont get how you are going to cram 4 dudes into a miata.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

Do you have a car? You can just follow us down there in your car if you want more room. I take the long way, however, since if I get pulled over in Kentucky or Virginia I will probably go to jail. We are going around, through Missouri. Missouri is really nice though!

From Katie ******* to Me

IF I HAD A CAR I WOULDNT NEED A FUCKING RIDE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS IM DONE TALKING TO YOU
lol

wayne_curr 07-02-2009 06:23 PM

Lmfao!


my truck is pretty big. It is a mazda miata and it can hold around 3 people.

Project84 07-02-2009 06:33 PM

So I didn't go to that website... but is this really YOU?

Sorta genius, in a lonely, has way too much time on his hands, kinda way.

A friend found something simliar where it was some white kid getting on myspace and setting up accounts w/ gangsta pics in them saying it was him. He'd friend all the local gangstas and then talk a bunch of shit to them and just laugh at the responses. Most of the time he'd be calling them shit like "skallywaggizzle" and these people were genuinely offended by it..... damn, gotta find it...

icantthink4155 07-02-2009 06:44 PM

no its not me, not affiliated, just find it hillarious

tiber55 07-02-2009 08:00 PM

psh me=idiot

wayne_curr 07-02-2009 08:06 PM

Tiber why did you post that a second time?


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