Joe Perez

iTrader: (8)

I've been getting more ambitious as I gain experience and confidence in the kitchen. I don't know if I'd call it epic... I mean, lots of old Italian women crank this kind of stuff out twice a day, every day. We'll say that it's a lucky, above-average result from a self-taught amateur chef with time on his hands and plenty of 90s mainstream grunge lined up on Pandora. I'd love to be able to attend a few part-time courses at Le Cordon Bleu or the CIA, but for right now, I just attend the Google Academy. Just finished the last of the sprouts leftovers, still good on day 3.

Sometimes I **** up. The first attempt at Orange Chicken I posted a few weeks ago was actually a fail, despite the hyperbole. I massively over-did it on the brown sugar and wasn't able to repair it with any amount of acidic juice. In the second attempt, I got the sweetness down to a semi-acceptable level (still too much) and then over-did it on the pepper. Someday I'll return to this dish and attempt to get it dialed in, but I'm on kind of a Euro-kick at the moment.

But failure is part of the process. Hell, I think back to when I first started this about four years ago back in Hoboken, and I honestly turned out some total garbage. More than a few dishes went into the trash. But you live and you learn. "The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking you've got to have a what-the-hell attitude." (Julia Child)




That's definitely a large part of it. I've found that I feel much more sated after slowly savoring a small quantity of something really delicious vs. shoveling a much larger amount of something mediocre into my food-hole. It used to be that I'd eat some crappy dinner, then still not be satisfied and follow it up an hour later with a large bowl of sweetened cereal or two English muffins slathered in jam- nothing but a carb explosion. Now, I finish dinner feeling just right. Neither over-full nor craving more.

"Everything in moderation…including moderation." (More Julia.) Good advice. Butter, cheese, cream, fatty meat, savory oils... All of these things are our friends, provided that we do not over-indulge.


The same goes for lunch at work. Despite the images I posted a page or two ago, I do just nuke something pre-packaged about half the time. But again, I've made a big change here. If you really eyeball the freezer case at your local supermarket, you'll notice that most frozen meals rely pretty heavily upon potatoes, rice, pasta, and the like. They may hide them behind names like "orzo" and "wild rice" and "whole grain," but in the end, they're just inexpensive filler ingredients with zero nutritional value that leave you unsatisfied. I've found a few brands which actually contain zero (or nearly zero) starches / grains; just protein & veg, with a light but tasty sauce. SmartMade, Eating Well, Perfect Fit Meals, and a select few TJ's products all fit this bill. Perfect Fit are actually refrigerated, not frozen, and have a shelf-life of only a week or two, but they're also among the best I've tried. All of the above cost a dollar or two more than the more prolific offerings from Swansons / Stouffers / Amy's / Healthy Choice / Lean Cuisine / Marie Callender's / Sweet Earth / Good Food / etc., but IMO, they're worth it.





I love a good Caprese salad. And that looks wonderful. Screw the baguette, I'd make a meal of that as-is.

z31maniac

Just needs some prosciutto and olives.

Joe Perez

iTrader: (8)

^ Blasphemy.

y8s

iTrader: (8)

the baguette is set aside and dipped into a mix of balsamic, olive oil, coarse salt, and pepper.

Joe Perez

iTrader: (8)

Oh yeah, baby.

The oil drips succulently off the baguette, and a bit of it splashes onto your firm, ripe breasts. I lean over to lick it off, and you smile warmly.

Mmmm.

18psi

iTrader: (76)

a/s/l?

y8s

iTrader: (8)

reddy:

G3ML1NGZ

In response to new thread title



I may have been drunk in another country and searched for an unholy amount of time for some food. this is the result

Kebab, ham, garlic, mushrooms and black pepper in case anyone was wondering

gjsmith66

Joe, wrap those sprouts in bacon, then bake. Thank me later.

Joe Perez

iTrader: (8)

Going to try the recipe that Carrabba's made famous in the US, Chicken Bryan. And and as a side, a childhood favorite, with a Mediterranean twist; My mothers' own spinach crčme, which was originally intended as a crępe filling but which stands quite well on its own. Though, given the potency of the main dish, the side will be kicked up a notch.


Trigger warning: If you suffer from Turophobia like Melissa North, you'll want to skip over this post. Also, I'm going to use the word "breast" numerous times, with a vaguely sexual connotation.



BREASTS!




These chickens must have been exposed to gamma radiation as part of a US Army research project. Their robust yet pliable breasts weigh a full pound each. We'll caress them with a firm hand, slicing them laterally into halves, and then soak them in a salt-water brine for about eight hours at room temperature:






GREENS!

Prepare one large bunch Swiss chard, de-stemmed and chopped, plus about a pound of fresh spinach, likewise.





(Add a pinch of Oasis and Soundgarden)





PREP!

Everything is in its place. The music is loud. In the distance, a bird sings. We are ready.







BEGIN!

Pan #1 We'll toss one large yellow onion (diced) into a large saucepot with some olive oil. Sauté for a few minutes, then add 4-5 cloves of minced garlic, a few stalks of sliced green onion, and a pinch of crushed red pepper. We're gonna let this one simmer until the onion softens.





TASK SWITCH!

Pan #2. 2 tbs butter, 2 cloves garlic, and about 1/2 of a small yellow onion. Again, simmer until tender.






In goes one single-serve bottle of Gallo's cheapest chardonnay, plus 1/4 cup lemon juice. Raise to a boil, then simmer until reduced by half.


(Seriously, this is some cheap-*** wine.)

Add 1.5 cups of slivered sun-dried tomatoes, 1/4 cup finely chopped basil, a dash of salt, and some white pepper. (Totally a to-taste thing here.) I also wound up adding about 2 tbs flour, to thicken. Add the bacon that I forgot to mention earlier which is baking in the oven, and then add MORE BUTTER!!! Set aside, we're done with this bitch for now.







TASK SWITCH!

Back to pan #1. We're gonna toss in the chopped chard, and sauté covered for about 4 minutes, then add the spinach and yet another single-serve bottle of the cheap-*** chardonnay. Stir, baby, stir. Cook for another minute or two, then reduce to VERY LOW and dump in one small container of Greek yogurt and about 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg. This one is close to done, just needs to reduce a tad.







MEANWHILE....

Some time earlier, we set the oven to 450°. And then we lovingly enrobed the firm, succulent breasts with olive oil and a bit of fresh-ground black pepper, laid them into baking pans, and stuck em in. Figure about 18 minutes total, turning halfway. Here they are at the halfway point:




Is there anything better than being able to pull a hot pan out of the oven and plonk it right down on the countertop? Answer: yes, there are many things. The love of a passionate and beautiful woman, 18 year old scotch and a fine cigar, hitting the winning home-run in the world series, the first time that a newly-built engine roars to life...

But are there any greater things in a countertop material? No, there are not. Quartz FTW.





PLATING TIME!

"It puts the chicken on the plate, or else it gets the hose again."

Top one halved breast with sliced goat cheese, and then pour over the contents of pan #2.

Pan #1 goes on as a side. Top with shaved dry Feta.






I'm getting tired of cats and hyperbole. Let it suffice to say that this was really good.

DScoda

This is a deviled crab. It is a uniquely Tampa thing. Much like the Cuban sandwich, it may exist elsewhere, but it originated here. It is essentially a croquette, filled with blue crab meat along with peppers, onions, garlic and unicorns and stuff. Most are the size of your fist or a small potato. This particular one is from Brocato's and theirs are arguably the bestest in town. It is also far huger than most. Those are Texas Pete hot sauce packets by it and it is near 5 packets wide. They measure 3.5 centimeters, or just under 1.5 inches, for size comparison. It is the size of an infant's head, and it is fantastic.


"I don't give a crap about your breaded softball, what's inside?"
Crabmeat heaven:

DScoda

Kudos to Joe's post, I love your enthusiasm. I also like using those little one serving wine bottles.
This may have been mentioned before in this thread, but for anyone who is new to cooking with wine; never, EVER use "cooking wine." That crap is loaded with salt to keep hobos from drinking it.
Don't cook with anything you wouldn't drink.

Braineack

iTrader: (62)

I did a food trip last week.

Started of with Ricatta Parmesan filled gnudi with black winter truffle:





wifey's plate of sea bass:


not pictured: lemon tart for dessert.



my have been my favorite dish all week -- hard to say, i also had Japanese wagyu that night...

y8s

iTrader: (8)

holy **** gnudi is declicious. had it years ago at the spotted pig in NY. it was made with sheep ricotta that was, apparently, hard to get back then.

Braineack

iTrader: (62)

dude it was GOOD.

the next meal will take a while to post... stupid amount of courses and even like 10 dessert plates alone. lol.

Joe Perez

iTrader: (8)

Yes, you do.

It is a skill which every man should practice, even if they never achieve mastery. Knowing how to cook is no less crucial knowing how to change a tire, how to sharpen an axehead, how to give pleasure to a woman, how to suture a laceration, how to pick a lock, how to clean a rifle, how to deliver a breached calf, etc.


It is intimidating to start. You will make utter crap. You will waste food. You will fail. But if you persevere, and if you study the lessons of competent teachers, one day it will click.

And then you will fail again. And make more crap. But you will persevere.

Eventually, after a few years, you will get to the point where you feel confident going at it without a recipe proper, just a page of hand-written notes. (Or, if you're like me, a page of computer-printed notes, owing to a combination of illegible handwriting and an extremely аnal nature.)

That's where I'm at now. I hope to someday rise to the level of "**** paper, I know what I'm doing." I'm a long way from that point.




I gave up inactivity and enchiladas. These days, I desire neither. I did not give up alcohol. There's a 10 year old single-malt about four inches away from my left hand as I type this, and it isn't the first one of the evening. Nor shall it be the last.





I am of Cuban heritage. I was raised in south Florida (about 90 miles south of Tampa) and the West Indies, mostly Puerto Rico and the eastern border-islands. I have made croquetas de jamón from scratch alongside mi abuela. I have dug the pit in which to roast the pig on the beach at Isleta Marina. I have literally altered my flight plans returning to California from Germany to include an unnecessary layover in Tampa, in order to meet my sister for lunch at the West Tampa Sandwich Shop on not one but two occasions. (The travel dept never questioned it.)

And yet I have never has this thing.

I must do research.





Thank you.




Several years ago, A good friend of mine from >20 years past told me that I needed to find a hobby. I realize now that she was correct.

There was a time when I entertained the notion of saying "**** all this" to engineering and going to culinary school. Then I realized that if you truly love to do something, making a career of it is the best way to destroy that love. I'm quite happy with the state of things as they now exist, and look forward to continued growth and enjoyment.



I will agree with you, but for one exception: ˇEdmundo Vino Seco Para Cocinar!



I have tried without success to replicate my mother's black beans without the benefit of this wine, and have failed every time. There is simply no substitute. When I lived in NYC, I had to hike* all the way up into Spanish Harlem to buy this stuff. I have half a bottle left, and plan to pay Amazon's exorbitant price of $18 a bottle after it's gone.




Slightly jelly.

Scratch that, extremely jelly.

aidandj

iTrader: (5)

My fiance and her mother are like this. never seen either of them use a recipe. (other than baking, but imo thats more of a science than cooking is), and the food is unbelievable.

Its absurd. and I am blessed to be marrying her. (Although she is currently in Nebraska for a year and I'm living off frozen lasagna)

Braineack

iTrader: (62)

Dinner at French Laundry:

started off with an amuse bouche of salmon tartar and "ritz" crackers




followed by the oysters and pearls (Sturgeon caviar iirc). yes it was served with a mother of pearl spoon




the next dish was my least favorite of the night, a cold mint/basil gazpacho.




but the monk fish and lentils that followed made up for it:




up next was butter poached king crab legs that were as delicate as lobster and probably the best crab i've ever tasted.




there then was a course of fresh baked bread and some local butter, it was actually really good.





i have to double check my menu on this one, but i believe it was foie gras and duck breast. It sat on top of sweet corn, and that was some bbq type sauce -- really great.





then i splurged for the japenese waygu with came with a deconstructed baked potato. SO AMAZING.




The following bite was a little baked bread with gruyere cheese inside to mimic cheese fondue. intense cheese flavor here.





then they showered our table with tons of desserts:



from what I can remember: mango ice cream, strawberry cheesecake, "coffee" and donuts (basically coffee ice cream with a meringue on top), a cup of three little sweets each there was a truffle, a caramel, and one other delight I cant remember, some chocolate/mint cake thing, chocolate kisses, mix berries and chantilly, a plate of (3) chocolate pastry things, and a white tea/mint thingy.


This was day 102 in the $11 million dollar kitchen:





it's even open to the outside:






this place also has the most amazing wine selection you'll ever find:



this is also crazy considering just before the renovation, they were robbed of about 100 bottles totaling roughly $300,000

I didn't splurge for the $5,000 bottle of Screaming Eagle... just a half bottle of Napa Zinfandel.



here's a look of the place from the street:



the famous blue door:



directly across from it, is their garden where they source many of the ingredients for the dinner service.






another fun fact: no ingredient is repeated twice in the entire tasting menu.

triple88a

iTrader: (2)

Joe Perez

iTrader: (8)

Scott, I am envious of your culinary adventures.



And now, a brief homage to good cheese:

Good Cheese is Good. The End.