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A Tale of Two Fissures, A story of the world's strangest man and his colon

Old 04-24-2012, 12:56 AM
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Arrow A Tale of Two Fissures, A story of the world's strangest man and his colon

A couple years ago I'd go to the gym, eat several thousand calories, and make special diarrhea immediately after dinner,every time. I'd also ---- 3x per day. Now, I'm half ------- constipated all the time and ---- once per day, when I do it hurts my virgin anus. What went wrong between 29 and 31?

I went from diarrhea and clay textured wall-painter bowl twisters to inter-locked fiber turds that hurt on the way out. I've changed nothing about diet or exercise. Is this AIDS or cancer?

Last edited by hustler; 05-16-2012 at 12:41 AM.
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Old 04-24-2012, 12:57 AM
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It was the gaping I gave you a while back.
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:00 AM
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Originally Posted by 18psi
It was the gaping I gave you a while back.
Wanna have another look? I know that when you're laying down, anticipating my sinful payload upon your chest, there's a great angle to look straight up my anus.
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:01 AM
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Lol, this is funny because I believe every word. I'd say this is 10% troll 90% scared little boy.
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:01 AM
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Originally Posted by jacob300zx
Lol, this is funny because I believe every word. I'd say this is 10% troll 90% scared little boy.
lol, this is not a troll post. I'm getting old, what's happening?
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:02 AM
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Originally Posted by hustler
Wanna have another look? I know that when you're laying down, anticipating my sinful payload upon your chest, there's a great angle to look straight up my anus.
we can have a dingleberry party.
I'll bring the pick
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:03 AM
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Originally Posted by hustler
lol, this is not a troll post. I'm getting old, what's happening?
your ***** finally dropped and you can stop gluing fake hair to your crotch
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:04 AM
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Too much meat. Eat your vegies. More
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:05 AM
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Originally Posted by hustler
lol, this is not a troll post. I'm getting old, what's happening?
Did not know you where 31. All I hear old people talk about is their health, so I guess this thread makes sense.
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Faeflora
Too much meat. Eat your vegies. More
I've changed nothing, I eat lots of carrots, onion, zucchini, squash.
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:06 AM
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Originally Posted by rharris19
Did not know you where 31. All I hear old people talk about is their health, so I guess this thread makes sense.
Awesome, lol. 24-year old face, 65-year lower GI.
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:07 AM
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Originally Posted by hustler
I've changed nothing, I eat lots of carrots, onion, zucchini, squash.
but you also eat a lot of meat

big veiny kielbasas to be specific
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:08 AM
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Originally Posted by 18psi
but you also eat a lot of meat

big veiny kielbasas to be specific
There was a day I could eat so much fatty BBQ that I raced home to not ---- my pants from Lockhart to Austin. Again, I changed nothing, eat fairly well-rounded meals, and still lift.

I've had kielbasa but I can't find any girthy-enough in California.
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:10 AM
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doubling my Xtenze intake to keep you satisfied
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:11 AM
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Originally Posted by hustler
I've changed nothing, I eat lots of carrots, onion, zucchini, squash.
All I eat is Whataburger and drink Dr Pepper. My poo is regular and solid, so sounds like you need more of both of those in your diet to balance things out.

I had a bowl of canned spinach and creamed corn the other night for a meal. it looked exactly the same the next morning. I found it interesting.
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:15 AM
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potatoes, bacon, and vodka.
my **** is purple and smells like rainbow sherbet
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:58 AM
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Originally Posted by 18psi
doubling my Xtenze intake to keep you satisfied

Serious question. Does this work? When I want to get my fucky on , I do have a cialis. For megacrunk fuckage it is a win.
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Old 04-24-2012, 02:06 AM
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no idea
I'm hung like a walrus, just ask hustler
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Old 04-24-2012, 05:46 AM
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Get a colonoscopy if you are truly worried. The GOLYTELY alone might be worth it for you.
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Old 04-24-2012, 06:15 AM
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Why isn't there a poll option for "whiny Bi__h"?


Drink more water!
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