How much worse can it get? Total, absolute, utter... fail .
 

How much worse can it get?

Have you ever had a moment when you held your head in your hands and thought that you hit absolute negative zero, total bottom?

Then did you have another moment, when you discovered a new even deeper hole to bury yourself in?

Did you ever have a night where you were absolutely, totally shocked at how frikken miserable your experience of life was?

Were you ever astounded, in retrospect at how purposely, deliberately, and idiotically brought yourself utter, disgusting, deep, despondant despair?

Have you ever felt absolutely, completely, irrecoverably fucked.

If you have lived life at all, surely, you have had these moments. Depending on how awesome or lack of awesome you are you may have had many.

Post em up and please, please, make me feel better about last night.

Snuggles.

Give us all a quick version of what happened...

I hit that point when I was a senior in high school. I went through a good week of just the craziest, most random, and inexplicably horrible shit happening to me.

I can clearly remember the point of "there is no possible way my life can get any worse than it is right now" and about 4 hours later a friend asks how I got the huge dent in my car, as I'm walking to see what happened I step off the corner of the sidewalk and get a nasty ankle sprain that I couldn't walk on for a month. Apparently shit can always get worse than you think it can.

On a more positive note, looking back I can't even remember all the crap that happened, my ankle healed, and the car was repaired. Nothing seems as significant as it did back then. In the end shit always seems to find a way to work out, or it doesn't and you just deal with it and move on.

Also, in for wtf is going on.

Sounds like somebody needs a hug

Or a reach around...

That too

Thought I contracted HIV when I was 14. Today I am a blood donor.

:fael:

Nothing - unless it is a life ending thing like cancer - is as bad as it seems right now. In time, you'll look back and wonder what the fuss was. Things that are a huge deal in your twenties are merely a good story when you hit 40. Crisis in your thirties are just another experience when you hit 50.

The worst thing you can do when you are young is to push away any real friends; you will miss them when you're older, and regret losing those close to you. If that's the case, swallow your pride and apologise. Harsh words tend to cut you deeper in the long run.

Fae... It's okay little buddy, you can tell us what happened.





:giggle:




Edit* i guess my worst fail was trying to move out of my parents house when i was 18 with a minimum wage job. Major fail. I starved, literally... Not fun.

You sawzawed your dick off didnt ya...?

What happened "last night"?

Cheer up dude, bitches will come and go Fae.

A buddy of mine stopped by the shop Friday afternoon to have some beers and share his sorrows with me.

He's currently unemployed (I believe he's on unemployment and has been for over a year), was told to vacate by his landlord 3-4 months ago due to not paying his rent for months, has a MAJOR drug/alcohol issues and now starting to act borderline crazy.

We grew up the best of friends and as time went on only one of us matured. I would still hang out and go longboarding with him and even did some side work with him. Working together is what ended our friendship. His work ethic and poor customer service skills embarrassed me enough as it was, him dicking me out of almost a grand was what ended everything.

Over the past 2 years we didn't speak, until one day he drove by the shop and I made the mistake of waving. Every time I've seen him since then (less than a handful of times) its been problem after problem. Says life is unfair and wants everything taken care of for him. Never responsible for his own actions.

On Friday he asked me if he could live in my basement, offered me $2k to help him find a place, rattled on and on about "help me, help me, help me". A few times even said "whats the point of living, I should just kill myself". Basically tried to guilt trip me into helping him again, which would be about the 1000th time. I decided to give him the cold, unemotional, honest truth about his life.

I told him that its time to stop acting like he's still a kid and man up, make money, pay your bills and live like a normal fucking person. Drink occasionally, smoke some pot if you'd like, but stay away from everything else. Stop going to the bar or drinking by yourself and delete the drug dealers number from his phone. Do something about it for once and stop crying to me about your self made problems.

Like I said before, he's borderline crazy now and I always have to be on my guard to knock him the fuck out if he gets aggressive. He knows I would so I really don't worry about it, but sometimes it gets intense dealing with a drug addict that has nothing to live for.

I've done everything I can to try and help him, aside from calling the police on him. Which wouldn't really matter anyways because he's been arrested and in court more than anyone I know x10 and he's still spiraling out of control. I seriously believe he will end up dead or in jail.

Long rant yes, but the point I'm trying to make is someone, somewhere always has it worst. The people to feel sorry for are the ones that had no hand in their problems. Those with terminal illnesses, people who lost their homes in a natural disaster, lost a loved one, etc etc. I try to count my blessings, although really fucking hard to do at times, but it works. Think of the good and try to drown out the negative. I'm not religious, but I believe in karma. Do good and good will happen. May take some time to come around but it will. So will the bad. lol

Enjoy your smiley and take the lexus out for a rip. :bigtu:

:rly::asshole::owned:

ftfy

I feel bad for your sorrows Faefae but I am happy I only had to read your post once to understand what you were saying.

What's your problem again? How bad is it?



Is it this bad?



https://www.miataturbo.net/attachmen...ine=1347213903


Or like this?



https://www.miataturbo.net/attachmen...ine=1347213903


Or maybe it is as bad as this?


https://www.miataturbo.net/attachmen...ine=1347213903



Perspective. Get some.

What happened last night?

I know therapists and psychologists and psychopharmacologists. pm or email.

drugs are bad, mmmkay?

Let me make that into a pic for you.
https://www.miataturbo.net/attachmen...ine=1347223708

There we go.

*

Would you like some severe side affects with that?

Why would you want to focus on your problems and troubles? That doesn't help anything.. The best thing to do it move on. No on likes a negative Nancy. Don't get me wrong, somethings take time to get over but, even still at least in my life it seems that dwelling on the negative things never helps anything. Shit happens, to everyone. I never really care what peoples problems are I am more interested in the way they handle it.

Hello? Fae? Are you still there?

When I get sad, I just read Fae's build thread.

I have to look at myself in the mirror everyday.

/thread.

Was at officer basic school in FT. Leonard Wood, Missouri. I had my motorcycle there with me, but I didn't yet have a Motorcycle Safety Course completed, so I wasn't allowed to ride it on the street...While trailering my motorcycle to hallet (about 300 miles away) with my parent's conversion van that they let me borrow, I made it about halfway to the race track before looking in my rearview mirror and seeing nothing but a cloud of white smoke. Pulled over to the side of the 80mph turnpike to find that the transmission had bit the dust. After calling my dad back home to find a tow truck and send them out, I had decided that I could ride my motorcycle until I could figure out what to do. I spent the time waiting on the tow truck to unbolt the race plastics and bolt on the street parts. When I went to take the motorcycle off the trailer, I dropped it on the trailer. Picked it back up in disgust then started unloading it on my 2x8 ramp. Made it about halfway down the ramp before the tire came off and the whole motorcycle fell a foot to the ground plus falling over, crushing the top of my brand new craftsman tool box on the way down. After finally getting it up and behind the trailer, it had gotten dark, still waiting on the tow truck. The only motorcycle clothing I had with my was my full race one-piece leather suit, so I suited up about the time the tow truck driver arrived. He hooked up the van as I started the motorcycle to follow him to his yard where the van would R.I.P. (my dad was going to mail the guy the title to the van and write it off for him towing me). When we were basically ready to roll to his yard, I walked back to my now idling motorcycle to see a puddle of fuel on the ground beneath it...

That night, in a city I didn't know, 150 miles in either direction from where I needed to be, with no transportation, and a quickly dying cell phone, the tow truck driver dropped me off at a local motel. After shelling out money for the room, I walked back to the motel office and asked the manager where I could get a drink. The closest bar was 2 miles away. I walked 4 miles that night, and sang drunk karaoke in front of 50 people that I'd never before met in my life and whom I'll never meet again. I was fukced, but there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it tonight, I might as well enjoy myself now, because I'm going to have to deal with it tomorrow.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had been unemployed for nearly 8 months; I had drained my savings account to merely a couple thousand dollars. I was fortunate though; I had just been hired to a job, and I would be starting in only a couple weeks. Knowing I had a future income, I took a vacation trip from Ohio to Florida to see a friend I had been wanting to visit all Summer, but couldn't justify spending the money. I flew down, and stayed for 5 or 6 days. It was Sunday, and my new job started on Monday. She drove me to the airport - a tiny little port in Vero Beach, FL that sees a grand total of 4 inbound and 4 outbound flights per day. Ticket confirmation in hand, I say goodbye and walk into the airport. I punch my ticket confirmation into the kiosk and I get an error: reservation not found. I try again, and get the same error. Confused, I start scanning my paperwork to make sure I have all of my information right...I didn't. In my haste to book a flight, I had scheduled my return flight for the right day...in the wrong month. My ticket wouldn't take me home for 31 more days. I went to talk to the guy behind the counter, and he asked me for my ID. I reached back to grab for my wallet, but it wasn't there. Thankfully the airport was small, but after recounting all of my steps to search for my wallet, it was nowhere to be found. I talked to the guy at the ticket counter again, and he gave me a price for the last seat on the flight that day from Vero Beach to Columbus, OH: $1,700.

Frantic and somewhat scared, I pulled out my cell phone to call my friend, who was no doubt halfway home by now. No service. No service anywhere in the airport. I walked to the parking lot, no service there either - but I did see a payphone, so I walked to the payphone and unzipped my backpack - which goes with me pretty much everywhere - to find some quarters, but they were not there. I had cleaned out my backpack before leaving home. I was penniless, friendless, phoneless, ID-less and most of all, I was ticket-less; and if I didn't make it back home tonight, tomorrow I would be job-less.

Thanks guys for posting your stories so far.

There are many different types of holes you can end up in. Yes, perspective is great, and thinking about how others have it worse than you can indeed be a "my life sucks" panacea, but a worst case scenario is in general, relative to your immediate experience.

The experience that I was referring to in my first post concerns my relationship. In short, I am in a very abusive relationship with a walking emotional disaster. This girl is extremely manipulative, cruel, selfish, rejecting, hateful, and treats me in that manner. On Friday night, all night, I let myself get treated in a way that I never thought I would. That wasn't the first night either. I just have never been treated like total dogshit for so long by someone that says that they love me. When I wrote that post, I was just absolutely astounded at myself, and how I was feeling.

The catch is though, that in relationships, it always takes two to tango. She may be horrible but the reality is that I am too. Yes, in real life, Faefae is at times quite a monster himself. My own coldness and cruelty has, of course, been quite an issue in prior relationships. So, I feel like all the damn grief this girl gives me, or at least a decent amount of it, is deserved.

There's more too it though. I've also spent a ridiculous amount of money on her because I am so wrapped around her axle. I am caught up in the dumb male notion that you can buy love. Or that it's good to spend lots of money on someone you love. This is not the first time I have done this.

All this stuff is not the worst utter fail. But I do feel embarrassed and humiliated with my choices in this relationship. In life, in general, I do take pretty good care of myself. I work out. I have loving friends. I have hobbies. I express myself via various forms of art. I have a fantastic job. I've worked for all those things, purposefully, over a long period of time. I think that if I continue in this relationship, I probably should treat it purposefully too.

Also. Regarding my true absolute worst moment. Yeah, it was a million times worse than what I just wrote about.

That sucks dude, my roommate is currently in the EXACT same situation.

Except unlike you, he hasn't figured it out yet. He is still in love with the manipulative bitch who has cheated on him and treats him like shit.

So break up with her.

Are you afraid you wont find someone else or something?

You arent married, I assume you have no kids between you two, what do you have? Seems like hardship, anger and resent more than love.

Unless you like the drama, then good luck. I know people like you.

This was about a friggin' girl?!?

I was about ready to pass your address to the cops to check for a corpse. C'mon man.

There are a lot of girls. Find one you can trust and respect and treat her accordingly. If this isn't that person, don't waste your time or hers.

Is this the same coked out bitch that you cried about earlier?

what are some bad side effects of therapy?

also: fae: seek therapy or couples therapy.

Hey man, If thats a legit story I like it, I mean it sucks and all but as a story its very good.

Dann

I'm amazed how emo a girl can make you.
Just drink heavily, worked for me in the past!!!!!

edit: and no second chances, forgot the important bit! once she fucks up real good, it's overrrr.

girl problemas.
:inout:

Bitches be crazy.

True stories, bro.

Fae, when a man feels like he has to shell out money to keep his girl happy, that's because the girl has lost respect for the man. The girl losing respect for the man is the single most destructive thing that can happen in any relationship. There is no "getting her back", and psychologically, she has already broken up with you. The only reason she's sticking around is because she hasn't yet found a man who gives her better sex or better money, and if she IS cheating on you already, the only reason you haven't found out is because the guy she's cheating on you with has significantly less money to blow on her. If he had more money to give her than you did, she would make absolutely SURE that you "inconveniently" found out....oops.

Get rid of her, immediately. Don't give her sex "just one more time", don't cuddle with her, don't try to appease her. Just get her out of your life as priority number ONE. Get back to your friends, get back to your family, and use that ISF to help you pick up a beautiful 20 year old who is absolutely thrilled to have you in her life. Trust me, they exist. A LOT of them exist. As a man, you should psychologically not need women in your life to be happy, and as a woman, she should be doing everything in her power to make you *more* happy; not taking your happiness and shitting on it.

Fae: This is not about respecting her, this is about respecting yourself.

You owe it to yourself to get out of this corrosive relationship and move on. You owe her nothing, and you are better than this.

*

Sorry Horny.



Yeah I actually did couples therapy with my ex and we actually helped our relationship quite a lot via that experience. We were able to improve our communication pretty significantly. The presence of an independent third party in our relationship probably made us think about our actions a little more when our fights started to get out of hand.

This post makes me unhappy.

*

Make it very clear to her, in no uncertain terms, that you will no be spending any more money on her. If you're lucky, she'll understand and SUPPORT this. If you're unlucky....

Once you tell her this, the hard part starts: You have to REFUSE to spend any money on her. You only get to pay for things if it is DIRECTLY in your interest (i.e. you're allowed to buy her a ticket to accompany you to a movie that YOU want to see). You DO NOT get to buy her anything if it is INDIRECTLY in your interest (i.e. you're not allowed to buy her dinner because you hope it will get you sex, or because you want her to make a decision in your interest later.)

If she starts to bargain with you ("Buy me these earrings and I'll give you some amazing road head on the way home") then you've already lost.

If things go well for a solid month, and she doesn't start whining like a 3 year old in a toy store, then you can reward her with something small - not because you want something from her, but because she has already earned it.

One last rule: Don't ever buy her something as an apology. Girls who get flowers when their lovers are "sorry" begin to associate flowers with "I fucked up". Your gifts to her should not be associated with you saying "I fucked up", because then she only has to make you feel like you fucked up in order to get a gift from you. Instead, she should associate your gifts with you saying "Honey, you are incredible", so that she knows that if she wants a gift, she has to make you feel like a million bucks.

Your description is pretty nebulous. What really happened? If it's too personal, then skip it. But other's perspectives might be more useful if we knew what was up. What does being treated like dogshit mean to you?

I know a thing or two about dogshit. Might taste bad at first, but sometimes it has nutritional value.

My biggest question, can you trust her? If not, it's over, end of story.

Since it is sharing time, here is one of my bigger horror stories. Severely condensed.

Back in Jan of 2005 I was in tech school in the Air Force. Was having issues with a 3yr+ relationship. Short story-she got raped while I was in BMT, I helped her through it, and in that realized we were just different people and was going to split as soon as she was "ok". So I meet this stripper in Florida. Lost my mind in a bit of loneliness and hooked up. FYI we met outside of her work. For some reason I was hung up on her. I've always had good history with having decent girlfriends. Usually weed out the crazies within a few dates. This chick was different, but in a crazy way. So we date for a bit and I transfer to Texas. She gets arrested, low on money, comes to TX, and I get us a apartment off base. Keep in mind we aren't married so no BAH on airman pay. SOOOOO many red flags go by. Drinks a ton, gets angry at the flip of a switch. Tells me I don't spend enough time with her. All I did all day was go to training at 5am, work, and home at 5-6pm. No time for anything else and went home to her. She held a job for 2 days.

Fast forward a few and we get transferred to Vegas. Bitch is still crazy + a bag full of psycho. I worked 14-15hr midshifts and spent half the day up with her "to spend time together" IE argue. One day for some reason I packed my bags. I get home later from work and she loses. Throws a bunch of crap around and at me....again.."I'm some horrible person, bla, bla". Throws a chair into the wall, literally. I leave, tell my first shirt and start a slew of reports over days to build a base line for my superiors to know she's the crazy one and protect myself. Keep in mind if I touch her in anger I'm done. I was a COP and domestic violence is a career ender.

Later in base housing she accuses me a doing the FAT girl next door, gets increasingly violent, and I find out she use to be a coke head (might still be). Even starts hinting to my friends a trade of favors. So wake up one day and I'm tired of this crap. While she still sleeps I get up and head to my neighbors house (not the fat girls), call my folks, and tell them I'm done with this bitch. I barrow a credit card # to book her a one way ticket home, drain our account of $1800 in cashier checks, and head across town to get divorce papers. I also call my shirt to give him the heads up. She keeps calling him, my friends, and bosses trying to tell them all I beat her, was cheating, anything she could throw out to hurt me. I already had a crazy sheet on her with my bosses so all is seen as her lies. I get home mid day and tell her to pack her crap she goes home at midnight. I have someone with me at all times as a witness as well, she loses it. One second crying another just a ball of nuts. I take her to the airport (kicking and screaming basically), walk her through check in and to the metal detectors, I give her $1500 of the money, she pleads one last time, I say she needs to go at least for now, my last words to her were F you.

Few days later my parents come and pack all of her crap, itemize it, and help me shut down all our joint stuff. While doing this I get a call from my buddy back in Florida. He goes to tell me he hooked up with my wife (not divorced yet)...twice..and oh here she is and hands the phone to her like I'll just ask her how her day was. Bla..bla...I loose it a bit, my shirt requests I stay on base so I don't go murder her or something (really thought about it at the time). I had to send my father to fight with her for 3 days in FL to get her to sign the papers. Sure that was fun. Then a month later the papers are legal and I'm a free man.

Not so much. I call her for a min to say where do you want your papers sent? Then a few more months of her messing with my mind. Says she's pregnant, tries to actively sleep with friends I have out there, and just general stupid crazy crap.

I know several people that slept with her while/after the divorce. One of my friends I met later actually arrested her once. Plus I guarantee someone on this site has banged her, no doubt in my mind. From meeting her to divorce was 9 months + the after crap.

Trust me there is a plus side. I've been with my current girl for 5yrs. Love her. Even got married a year ago. We never fight, she cooks like a banshee, and has some decent boobs. She supports my hobbies and generally lets me do what I want. It is a little freaky how well we get alone. Neither of us sweat the little stuff that most couples turn into a holocaust. You should just change who you are "in" to. Trust me I still have a weak spot for crazy, but it is never worth it.