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How (and why) to Ramble on your goat sideways

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Old 02-23-2012, 04:01 PM
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Originally Posted by mgeoffriau
leaving cigarette butts all over the place.
this is the part that's always just completely blown me away. why is it essentially just completely acceptable to the population at large (clearly 99.99% of the smokers) to just launch butts wherever? out the car window on the street, on the sidewalk, essentially anywhere....

if i went outside where the smokers are, ate a snickers while i chatted them up, and just chucked the wrapper on the ground, i would imagine they'd all look at me funny and probably call me an a-hole. then when they finish, they'd just flick the butt onto the ground and head inside.

it's gotten to the point where this actively aggravates me on a fairly regular basis when i see it, actually.
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Old 02-23-2012, 04:06 PM
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Originally Posted by mgeoffriau
Man I'm really tired of smokers. Bugging me to cover their constant smoke breaks, smoking outside the freight door so the smoke seeps in and stinks up my workplace, leaving cigarette butts all over the place.
The next time one of them goes out to smoke, wait until they take the 1st drag then go slap it out of their hand and step on it.

Since I quit I see butts all over the ground. I never thought once about it when I smoked, but now I see them all over.

When I used to smoke, out on the job I would flick mine into the other guy's tool pouches. Sometimes it would keep burning a little bit and start smoking up their whole pouch. I miss doing that.

Its been 530 days and I've saved at LEAST $3785 since I quit.
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Old 02-23-2012, 04:21 PM
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I take smokes breaks even though I don't smoke. It's only fair.
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Old 02-23-2012, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted by FRT_Fun
I take pole smoke breaks. It's only fair.

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Old 02-23-2012, 05:21 PM
  #11345  
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Originally Posted by mgeoffriau
Man I'm really tired of smokers. Bugging me to cover their constant smoke breaks, smoking outside the freight door so the smoke seeps in and stinks up my workplace, leaving cigarette butts all over the place.
Originally Posted by FRT_Fun
I take smokes breaks even though I don't smoke. It's only fair.
I think that's completely fair. Why should they get to take an extra break while everybody else works?
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Old 02-23-2012, 06:07 PM
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I smoked about a pack a day for a few years and while I don't miss smelling like ----, feeling sick most every day and literally burning money, I do miss looking really cool.
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Old 02-23-2012, 07:24 PM
  #11347  
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I have been smoking about a pack a day for 38 years now.
I condone and encourage flicking cigarette butts in the street, or all over public places.

I pay more built in taxes in a single pack of smokes than some military contractor would pay in several decades... So, I consider the cigarette butt cleaning by the city a prepaid service.

Oh, please do not get on my case about civility and pollution. It is perfectly OK for the bigwigs to do carbon trading, pay some cockamamie fee and release craploads of carbon into he atmosphere.

If they can, so can I. And my crap is prepaid, to boot.
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Old 02-23-2012, 11:34 PM
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Originally Posted by pusha
I smoked about a pack a day for a few years and while I don't miss smelling like ----, feeling sick most every day and literally burning money, I do miss looking really cool.
You probably only maybe looked cool to other smokers.

Originally Posted by Godless Commie
I have been smoking about a pack a day for 38 years now.
I condone and encourage flicking cigarette butts in the street, or all over public places.

I pay more built in taxes in a single pack of smokes than some military contractor would pay in several decades... So, I consider the cigarette butt cleaning by the city a prepaid service.

Oh, please do not get on my case about civility and pollution. It is perfectly OK for the bigwigs to do carbon trading, pay some cockamamie fee and release craploads of carbon into he atmosphere.

If they can, so can I. And my crap is prepaid, to boot.
That's a pretty terrible rationalization for being too lazy to dispose of them properly.

My favorite is when some ashhole dumps out his whole car ash tray into a parking lot. I mean hey it's just a few butts and ashes right?

I want to take a dump on the hood of cars belonging to people like that.
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Old 02-24-2012, 01:06 AM
  #11349  
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cigarette butts are biodegradable, unlike most of the women I bone who are just degradable
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Old 02-24-2012, 01:28 AM
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Originally Posted by FRT_Fun
I take smokes breaks even though I don't smoke. It's only fair.
I used to do that when I worked at the lab. Everyone would go on a smoke break and leave me and a few other people working. ---- that, I'm taking a break too. Mine was a drink and sit on my *** for 20 minute break while they smoked and socialized. You could tell it pissed them off too. Cranky lab women who haven't been laid in years.
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Old 02-24-2012, 02:15 AM
  #11351  
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Originally Posted by NA6C-Guy
Cranky lab women who haven't been laid in years.
don't look a gift horse in the mouth, even at the sight of pancake-nipped ******* that dangle like old, sweaty gym socks stuffed with oatmeal
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Old 02-24-2012, 03:46 AM
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Originally Posted by pusha
don't look a gift horse in the mouth, even at the sight of pancake-nipped ******* that dangle like old, sweaty gym socks stuffed with oatmeal
Well... I'm not sleeping tonight...







































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Old 02-24-2012, 08:07 AM
  #11353  
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Cig butts make awesome little smoldering projectiles when people in traffic **** you off. On more than one occasion, I have been able to flick my butt over the car in front of me and land it on their windshield. One day I'll get one in a window...
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Old 02-24-2012, 08:50 AM
  #11354  
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Originally Posted by Doppelgänger
Cig butts make awesome little smoldering projectiles when people in traffic **** you off. On more than one occasion, I have been able to flick my butt over the car in front of me and land it on their windshield. One day I'll get one in a window...
Years ago I accomplished just that.

This guy was behind me and I forget how it all started, but I remember shaking my fist at him while at the red light. Up ahead of him I was now in the left lane waiting to turn and he was coming up on me on the right. As he passed I just did a super flick to the right. I literally watched it go in the window and hit the guy in the face, almost like it was in slow motion.

I was totally expecting him to slam on the brakes and turn around. I was ready for a fight and amazed at the same time that it actually went in the ------- window, let alone hit him in the face. I couldn't believe it but the guy just kept driving like nothing happened. I was laughing my *** off the whole rest of the way home, but also felt a little guilty. I really didnt expect it to go in the car, more or less was just flicking it at him.
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Old 02-24-2012, 09:09 AM
  #11355  
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I've never understood why it was accepted practice to flick them out the window when there was already an ashtray in the car. y dat is?
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Old 02-24-2012, 09:12 AM
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Originally Posted by y8s
I want to take a dump on the hood of cars belonging to people like that.

So that's why i had a steaming pile of poo on my car after you witnessed me throwing that pizza crust into the woods.
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Old 02-24-2012, 10:05 AM
  #11357  
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Originally Posted by pusha
cigarette butts are biodegradable, unlike most of the women I bone who are just degradable
I think you are missing a huge point. a lot of trash is biodegradeable. so is my feces.

you're filling up the streets and waterways and biosphere with stuff that didn't originate there and make it there through natural processes.

it f---s up the environment and it looks like a dump.

And keep in mind it's not as if everything biodegradeable vanishes overnight under any condition. Most stuff takes weeks or months (even plant matter) to fully biodegrade. That means I have to look at YOUR TRASH the whole time. And since you're constantly repleneshing the supply, I have to look at your trash all the time.

If I am ever hanging out with you butt tossers and see you do this, I will pick it up and shove it in your pocket. Lit or not.
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Old 02-24-2012, 10:08 AM
  #11358  
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Originally Posted by sixshooter
I've never understood why it was accepted practice to flick them out the window when there was already an ashtray in the car. y dat is?
My car has no ashtray.

I don't really smoke all the much in my car though...mostly at work...when I put them in the ashtray. At home they go in the garbage. Even as a smoker, I do get bothered by those who carelessly flick butts while driving with no care for the car next to or behind them. I will always make sure no one is within striking distance....unless I have a target as previously discussed.

Side note- I'm watching some Canadian morning show and they're showing off this years new bathing suit trends and how to accessorize with them....I'm enjoying this....at least for about another 2 minutes when I have the satellite receivers set to turn off and update.
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Old 02-24-2012, 10:12 AM
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The topper for all of it is listening to my coworkers tell me about their yoga classes and meditation and vegetarian diets.

HEY GUYS. YOU CAN START LECTURING ME ON HEALTH WHEN YOU STOP INHALING CARCINOGENS INTO YOUR LUNGS MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY.
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Old 02-24-2012, 10:14 AM
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lulz...that is just as bad as the Big Mac, Super fries and a Diet Coke.


I wish it would be possible to have a small hookah to smoke at break while at work...so much better than cigs...yet, so much more inconvenient.
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