How (and why) to Ramble on your goat sideways
03-25-2013, 07:33 PM
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I agree that the entertainment provided by a few of the banned was worth some of the horseshit that came along with it. But sometimes there was so much horseshit that you couldn't get past the stink to bother to look for gems in the bottom of the pile. It just became pollution.
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03-25-2013, 09:23 PM
Tour de Franzia
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Some dude in a car almost hit me on my bicycle while traveling down an EMPTY four lane road. I caught up to him at the stop light and told him to set a better example for his child who was in the front seat, lol.
On the way back home a cop pulls me over on the bicycle (lol) and told me three lies:
He could arrest me for assaulting the man in the car that called.
He knows I exceeded 20mph in that school zone back there.
There is an ordinance that prohibits me from riding a bicycle on public roads near a bicycle path. However, he'd let me ride my bicycle on the street back home, just this one time.
ib "bicycles should not be on the road".
On the way back home a cop pulls me over on the bicycle (lol) and told me three lies:
He could arrest me for assaulting the man in the car that called.
He knows I exceeded 20mph in that school zone back there.
There is an ordinance that prohibits me from riding a bicycle on public roads near a bicycle path. However, he'd let me ride my bicycle on the street back home, just this one time.
ib "bicycles should not be on the road".
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03-25-2013, 11:11 PM
I'm a terrible person
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What a favor he did for you lol. Dbag cops are annoying. I almost got hit the other day by some stupid blonde chick in a mini. She was looking right at me as she started to pull out of a parking lot I was passing. Stupid girls.
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03-25-2013, 11:18 PM
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We have plenty of ******** in cars here that hate cyclists, but at least our cops don't number among them.
I miss my 28mi round trip bike commute. But at the same time ... I don't. Nearly got pasted 3 times.
I miss my 28mi round trip bike commute. But at the same time ... I don't. Nearly got pasted 3 times.
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03-26-2013, 02:15 AM
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Apparently this goes beyond the occasional occurrence in Portland. You guys have little pictograms of cyclists stenciled on the sidewalk everywhere someone on a bike DIED.
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03-26-2013, 03:23 AM
Bicyclist can be ******** too, you know. That street goes both ways (see what I did there?)
I have come across spandex jockeys that will ATTEMPT to lean on my car because their feet are ******* planted to the pedals; seen ******** ride in between traffic to get to the front of the intersection of the middle most lane, so he can pedal off first.
Not to mention those that DON'T use the bike lane provided (how hard is it?!)
And completely run stop signs with little regard.
I have come across spandex jockeys that will ATTEMPT to lean on my car because their feet are ******* planted to the pedals; seen ******** ride in between traffic to get to the front of the intersection of the middle most lane, so he can pedal off first.
Not to mention those that DON'T use the bike lane provided (how hard is it?!)
And completely run stop signs with little regard.
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03-26-2013, 08:16 AM
Boost Czar
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I just dont like when they come into work and share the same elevator as me smelling like swamp ***. And they are the smae guys who "bathe" in the bathroom using handsoap and paper towels instead of using the free gym showers.
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03-26-2013, 12:01 PM
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I almost killed a dozen cyclists one night in my NA. It turns out that when 12 dudes with superbright LED headlamps look directly at you in the dark you go blind for a moment.
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03-26-2013, 12:19 PM
Boost Pope
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Bicyclist can be ******** too, you know. That street goes both ways (see what I did there?)
I have come across spandex jockeys that will ATTEMPT to lean on my car because their feet are ******* planted to the pedals; seen ******** ride in between traffic to get to the front of the intersection of the middle most lane, so he can pedal off first.
Not to mention those that DON'T use the bike lane provided (how hard is it?!)
And completely run stop signs with little regard.
I have come across spandex jockeys that will ATTEMPT to lean on my car because their feet are ******* planted to the pedals; seen ******** ride in between traffic to get to the front of the intersection of the middle most lane, so he can pedal off first.
Not to mention those that DON'T use the bike lane provided (how hard is it?!)
And completely run stop signs with little regard.
The spandex crew are the squids of the engine-less world. They can even be dicks to other bicyclists, so don't feel like it's just a car thing.
Clip-ins (pedals which lock to your special bike-shoes) have no place on a daily commuter bike. They've become one of those "must-have" accessories for folks who want to pretend to be Lance Armstrong (minus the perma-ban), but they simply don't allow you to react to every-day situations as effectively as you could without having your feet locked to the pedals.
Fixies have no place in civilized-society, period. Do you see me driving around in a car with no clutch and no brakes? Granted, these are skills that every air-cooled VW owner has learned (involuntarily) at some point or another, but even they don't make a habit of it.
But then there are the rest of us.
I wish we had showers here at the lab. But on the plus side, it's not all that hard- you need to share with them the secret of pre-moistened baby-wipes. I keep a box of them in my office. Granted, I'm sure that the presence of large numbers of used baby-wipes in my trashcan has raised the suspicion of the cleaning crew...
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03-26-2013, 12:34 PM
Boost Czar
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Fixies have no place in civilized-society, period. Do you see me driving around in a car with no clutch and no brakes? Granted, these are skills that every air-cooled VW owner has learned (involuntarily) at some point or another, but even they don't make a habit of it.
1980's Schwinn Ultra-Lite Frame. Bought for 15 bucks from some homeless who stole bikes. BMX Bulletproof 165mm cranks. Rear Sun rim with Suzie Flip flop Hub. 44x16 ratio. Mavic Cxp 23 with Shimano hub. Tsunami Toro TT bars with brake off my BMX, it was later removed.
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03-26-2013, 12:52 PM
2 Props,3 Dildos,& 1 Cat
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I smell a username change coming: Hipstler.
* surprised you did not ask cop for specific ordinance number for path violation
* surprised you can stand to live in a city that's a ******** about bikes and then try to bike.
* surprised you did not ask cop for specific ordinance number for path violation
* surprised you can stand to live in a city that's a ******** about bikes and then try to bike.
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03-26-2013, 01:28 PM
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I've actually never ran into an a-hole cyclist, but I'm sure there are some. I think the people with motors are the ones doing most of the harassing and its more dangerous for them to be the perps. Its not like a bicycle poses any threat to a car.
Relevant anecdote: I was in my college town cranking up a hill and in the right-most portion of the designated bike lane. Some frat bro thinks it'd be funny to drive up behind me and then get his buddy to lean out the window and scare the **** out of me by yelling. I don't ever loose my cool, but there's something about being on two wheels that gives me a hair trigger (this includes motorcycles, but that's another story). So the crest of the hill comes up and it turns to 25mph zone and I catch him at a light pretty quick. He ends up parking pretty soon after and when he gets out I throw some of those golf ball sized brick chunks used for landscaping at him and his buddy. I aimed for his face but as I was cycling I missed and they pinged off the back glass of his Audi. They just stood there and yelled because good luck catching me on Raleigh with some dough in it. (Yes I know the legal repercussions; it was an isolated incident)
Relevant anecdote: I was in my college town cranking up a hill and in the right-most portion of the designated bike lane. Some frat bro thinks it'd be funny to drive up behind me and then get his buddy to lean out the window and scare the **** out of me by yelling. I don't ever loose my cool, but there's something about being on two wheels that gives me a hair trigger (this includes motorcycles, but that's another story). So the crest of the hill comes up and it turns to 25mph zone and I catch him at a light pretty quick. He ends up parking pretty soon after and when he gets out I throw some of those golf ball sized brick chunks used for landscaping at him and his buddy. I aimed for his face but as I was cycling I missed and they pinged off the back glass of his Audi. They just stood there and yelled because good luck catching me on Raleigh with some dough in it. (Yes I know the legal repercussions; it was an isolated incident)
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