Riding to work on my exact replica of the Triumph Bonneville Motorcycle that Steve McQueen used to jump the barbed wire in The Great Escape, erection already growing so early in the day, excited by the trail of female oppression im leaving in my wake.

Arrive at work and remove my helmet, sporting a 5 o'clock shadow at 9am
Walk into the office with a full erection and beat my chest to signify my arrival, all the men in the office jump on their tables and reciprocate while the women cower at their workstations, quivering at this display of chauvinism.

Hear a woman struggling with something, my engorged ***** swings in the direction of the noise and pulls me towards its source.

I glide up behind her and press my ***** into her back, all the men in the office begin grunting.

She turns around holding a jar she is struggling to open
"P-p-please James...I...-"

I raise my hand to her face to signify its my turn to start speaking.

She is instantly pregnant.

3 women faint and the men are now engaged in a masturbatory fury, losing control over the impending rape we are all about to witness. Semen starts flying from all corners of the room.

I take the jar into my hand, maintaining eye contact throughout.
The office goes silent and the remaining conscious women all move into a corner together and start praying silently, horrified by this blatant misogynist attack on this once strong, independent woman.

Suddenly a brave trans- autistic, quad gender, hyper liberal, multi- race, LGBT feminist pulls forward on her mobility scooter and speaks up: "STOP RAPING HER STOP RAP-"
"POP"

The sound of the jar opening causes every female of every species of animal within a 15 mile sphere of patriarchal influence to become instantly pregnant with quintuplet, exact genetic hybrids of Sean Connery and a Silver back Gorilla.

All the men of the office run out into the world, tripping over each others gigantic *****' and begin holding doors open, lighting cigarettes with matches lit on their stubble and throwing their coats over puddles all for women, triggering the start of the patriarchal revolution.

I hand the jar back to this once proud woman, the rape almost complete.

"T-t-thanks....J-J-James..."

There's only one thing left to say.

"IT..."

Pakistan invades India. Iran invades Israel. Islam declared world religion.

"WAS..."

Arnold Schwarzenegger begins furiously masturbating in California and just as he climaxes he lays face down and the force of his ejaculation causes him to fly across America to Washington DC, through the window of the White House, killing Obama instantly.

Schwarzenegger claims the presidency. Socialised gym memberships for all. Shaving becomes illegal.

"MY..."

Steve McQueen, Theodore Roosevelt and King Leonidas come back from the dead and assume their final form and are picked up by King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia in his giant, solid gold, ***** shaped helicopter. This union complete, they become the four horsemen of the patriocolypse and fly around the world spreading testosterone and oppression in their wake, all who view the helicopter instantly grow full beards and thick chest hair.

"PRIVILEGE"

The polar ice caps melt, Atlantis revealed beneath Greenland. Africa's Rift Valley begins to tear apart.

Gaben releases Half- life 3, its a perfect blend of Half Life, Portal and Left4Dead.

Horrified by the Patriarchal revolution, the feminists of the world unite and march on Washington DC only to be met by Clint Eastwood and Hugh Jackman riding their own *****' into battle, leading 300,000 Sean Connery-Silver back Gorilla hybrids pole vaulting down the street on their 12 foot long erect *****' in perfect unison, beating their chests as they bound through the air, wearing the final uniform for the final solution to the matriarchal problem designed by Hugo Boss with diamond *****' for buttons that are too big for the vagina shaped button holes so the first time it is is worn it tears the button holes permanently.

At the sight of this epic vision of pure masculinity, the feminists all orgasm in unison and a raging torrent of vaginal juices floods the city. The force of the orgasm turns some women inside out and causes every volcano on the planet to erupt simultaneously.

President Schwarzenegger runs out of the White house with Vladimir Putin and they begin bench pressing as many of the writhing, orgasming, females bodies as possible, the 300,000 Sean Silver Connery Backs surround them and beat their chests.
Helicopter news crews beam the revolution all over the world, every woman on the planet becomes pregnant and they voluntarily start wearing burqas and veils to cover themselves.

As all this is happening the sky goes black, its planet Nibiru, fabled home of legendary patriarchs, completing its 10,000 year cycle.

Nibiru stops over the city.

A giant, diamond, erect ***** escalator with solid gold hand rails emerges from the planet and lands at my feet.

My time has come.

I step onto the escalator and begin my ascension.
As i reach the top i am met by Alexander the great and Genghis Khan, both sporting huge erections.

I grab their erections and they pull me onto the planet.

I turn to take one last look at earth, the revolution complete.

The four horsemen of the patriocolypse are standing in King Abdullhas helicopter, saluting me, manly tears falling down their faces, all with 9 mile long and 1 mile wide erections causing 4 separate total, solar, erectile eclipses across four different latitudes of the earth.

Bearded Silver back Connerys now outnumber original humans, bounding across the planet performing acts of chivalry as they chant "ooo ooo it was my privilege ooo ooo".

Tsunamis tear across the ocean, destroying every coastal city, Africa is now two continents, plant life begins to die out as the sun begins to be blocked out by the clouds of smoke from the volcanoes, India and Israel destroyed by nuclear winter, feminism eradicated.

The world is in safe hands.

I shout "SEE YOU IN 10,000 YEARS......bros" and raise my fist into the air, shadowed by my now permanent erection.

Nibiru begins to move away from earth, the giant diamond and gold ***** escalator retracts into the planet.

Everything went better than expected.

N-no homo...