How (and why) to Ramble on your goat sideways
12-05-2016, 08:58 PM
Boost Pope
iTrader: (8)
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Chicago. (The less-murder part.)
Posts: 33,022
Total Cats: 6,589
1.1
The Applicant:
The Hermit
The Temple of the Morning Brass Gong had sent out word of several vacant beds in its cluster of little abbeys. A popular rumor was that there had been an unsatisfactory incident involving paper, the result of which was that a number of monks had been “sacked.” The term was not slang: at the temple, actual sacks were used. Once bound in burlap the unfortunates were sent rolling like logs down the mountainside, where the lucky ones would smash into pine trees with great force. The unlucky ones would miss the pines and sail straight over the edge of the cliff beyond.
(This was by no means the worst fate that a monk might face. Initiates were generally more worried about being “fired,” a ritual involving saltpeter, sulphur, charcoal, and a large cannon. More painful still was the cost-cutting measure known as “downsizing,” whereby monks were made to fit into smaller cots via the removal of several inches of unnecessary height, proceeding either from the toes upward or (in the case of management) from the neck downward. And no one who worked in the kitchens wished to contemplate the five-day process involved in getting “canned.”)
News of the vacancies reached a novice named Aaradhya. Her home was in a hot country very far from the temple, a place of balding hills beaten into submission by a relentless sun. Dust was ever in the air. It coated skin and teeth and circuit-board alike. Unlike her family Aaradhya had grown less used to it with each passing day, and after twenty years of breathing it she had had quite enough.
The temple’s website decreed that interviews were indeed being held, but it provided neither contact information nor a form for expressing interest. Curiously, even the location of the temple was undisclosed.
Aaradhya pored over each page and eventually found a telephone number rendered in white on a white background. But the voice who answered said that she’d merely reached the hermitage that hosted the temple’s public site.
“I would be most grateful if you would tell me the number of the temple itself,” said Aaradhya, dipping her brush in a pot of black ink. She stirred it to mix down the thin film of grit.
“Four, oh three,” replied the hermit. Aaradhya copied the digits and waited for the hermit to continue, but the other end of the line was silent.
“And may the rest of the number be told?” asked Aaradhya.
“Four oh three,” replied the hermit. Again there was a long pause, and again the quantity of digits was still insufficient. Aaradhya laid down her brush, tapping her index finger on the table in contemplation.
“Fetch me an emerald the size of a plover’s egg,” she commanded.
“Four oh four,” replied the hermit, and Aaradhya smiled with satisfaction, for she knew she had divined his algorithm.
“Surely you are no rootless hermit but a brother of the Spider Clan,” she said, “for you answer according to their legendary custom. Is there a means by which the temple may be contacted by this humble petitioner?”
“Two hundred times must I answer yes.”
“And may your esteemed person impart that means?”
“Two hundred and four times must I answer no.”
“Brother hermit, you are indeed a master of webs, for I am most thoroughly caught in one. Can you not offer this poor novice so much as a redirect?”
“Three hundred and one times would I send you back to where you came from; yet assuredly this is where you should wish to be,” said the hermit. There was a short beep, then a perfect electronic silence.
Aaradhya put down her phone. The page with the hermitage’s number still glowed on her screen. It said little of importance, or perhaps so it seemed; for it was written entirely in enthusiastic hyperbole laced with polysyllabic buzzwords—a dialect unique to the thrice-despised Clan of the Lubricious Serpent. Aaradhya attempted to decipher some useful meaning from the passages until her eyes went dry and her head pounded. Eventually she sat back in defeat, contemplating her next move. The page’s tranquil background image depicted the temple grounds on a misty morning: rising fog faded elegantly into the white content area. The sun was pale and cool.
Indeed, she thought: if this is where I should wish to be, then this is where I must be. For it is as my old C master taught me: the char pointer may be set to null, but the char array never so. Telepresence is at best a fragile proxy for presence.
Thus did Aaradhya bid her family goodbye, sling her bowl on her back and her jug around her shoulder, and set out for the distant province where the temple was rumored to lie.
The Applicant:
The Hermit
The Temple of the Morning Brass Gong had sent out word of several vacant beds in its cluster of little abbeys. A popular rumor was that there had been an unsatisfactory incident involving paper, the result of which was that a number of monks had been “sacked.” The term was not slang: at the temple, actual sacks were used. Once bound in burlap the unfortunates were sent rolling like logs down the mountainside, where the lucky ones would smash into pine trees with great force. The unlucky ones would miss the pines and sail straight over the edge of the cliff beyond.
(This was by no means the worst fate that a monk might face. Initiates were generally more worried about being “fired,” a ritual involving saltpeter, sulphur, charcoal, and a large cannon. More painful still was the cost-cutting measure known as “downsizing,” whereby monks were made to fit into smaller cots via the removal of several inches of unnecessary height, proceeding either from the toes upward or (in the case of management) from the neck downward. And no one who worked in the kitchens wished to contemplate the five-day process involved in getting “canned.”)
News of the vacancies reached a novice named Aaradhya. Her home was in a hot country very far from the temple, a place of balding hills beaten into submission by a relentless sun. Dust was ever in the air. It coated skin and teeth and circuit-board alike. Unlike her family Aaradhya had grown less used to it with each passing day, and after twenty years of breathing it she had had quite enough.
The temple’s website decreed that interviews were indeed being held, but it provided neither contact information nor a form for expressing interest. Curiously, even the location of the temple was undisclosed.
Aaradhya pored over each page and eventually found a telephone number rendered in white on a white background. But the voice who answered said that she’d merely reached the hermitage that hosted the temple’s public site.
“I would be most grateful if you would tell me the number of the temple itself,” said Aaradhya, dipping her brush in a pot of black ink. She stirred it to mix down the thin film of grit.
“Four, oh three,” replied the hermit. Aaradhya copied the digits and waited for the hermit to continue, but the other end of the line was silent.
“And may the rest of the number be told?” asked Aaradhya.
“Four oh three,” replied the hermit. Again there was a long pause, and again the quantity of digits was still insufficient. Aaradhya laid down her brush, tapping her index finger on the table in contemplation.
“Fetch me an emerald the size of a plover’s egg,” she commanded.
“Four oh four,” replied the hermit, and Aaradhya smiled with satisfaction, for she knew she had divined his algorithm.
“Surely you are no rootless hermit but a brother of the Spider Clan,” she said, “for you answer according to their legendary custom. Is there a means by which the temple may be contacted by this humble petitioner?”
“Two hundred times must I answer yes.”
“And may your esteemed person impart that means?”
“Two hundred and four times must I answer no.”
“Brother hermit, you are indeed a master of webs, for I am most thoroughly caught in one. Can you not offer this poor novice so much as a redirect?”
“Three hundred and one times would I send you back to where you came from; yet assuredly this is where you should wish to be,” said the hermit. There was a short beep, then a perfect electronic silence.
Aaradhya put down her phone. The page with the hermitage’s number still glowed on her screen. It said little of importance, or perhaps so it seemed; for it was written entirely in enthusiastic hyperbole laced with polysyllabic buzzwords—a dialect unique to the thrice-despised Clan of the Lubricious Serpent. Aaradhya attempted to decipher some useful meaning from the passages until her eyes went dry and her head pounded. Eventually she sat back in defeat, contemplating her next move. The page’s tranquil background image depicted the temple grounds on a misty morning: rising fog faded elegantly into the white content area. The sun was pale and cool.
Indeed, she thought: if this is where I should wish to be, then this is where I must be. For it is as my old C master taught me: the char pointer may be set to null, but the char array never so. Telepresence is at best a fragile proxy for presence.
Thus did Aaradhya bid her family goodbye, sling her bowl on her back and her jug around her shoulder, and set out for the distant province where the temple was rumored to lie.
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12-06-2016, 09:43 AM
Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: OKC, OK
Posts: 3,693
Total Cats: 222
Looks like it's back to apartment life for me.
Moving from Tulsa to OKC to take a position with NetSuite (will become Oracle NetSuite in January since they were just purchased). I start the new gig Dec 19th, but my apt isn't available until Jan 12th. So a crummy commute and crashing on various friends couches a few nights per week will help.
My front door to the office is 105 miles each way, currently. I got an apt in the downtown area, so I'll be driving out of downtown to work in the morning, should only be a 15 minute commute
But by the time I'm down there, I should be able to start working from home a few days per week, no more slacks/button ups (which will cut $75+/month out of my budget for dry cleaning), a better title, and a 40% pay increase.
Moving from Tulsa to OKC to take a position with NetSuite (will become Oracle NetSuite in January since they were just purchased). I start the new gig Dec 19th, but my apt isn't available until Jan 12th. So a crummy commute and crashing on various friends couches a few nights per week will help.
My front door to the office is 105 miles each way, currently. I got an apt in the downtown area, so I'll be driving out of downtown to work in the morning, should only be a 15 minute commute
But by the time I'm down there, I should be able to start working from home a few days per week, no more slacks/button ups (which will cut $75+/month out of my budget for dry cleaning), a better title, and a 40% pay increase.
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12-06-2016, 11:17 AM
So yesterday as per usual. Lunch time came around and normally I just go with a coworker over to his apt around the corner to each quiznos and watch tv/netflix or whatever. Yesterday, he pulled out this pink personal massager and starts to use it on his neck. He asked me "Hey, have you ever used one of these?" Nope! -- He cures his stiff neck problem and we go back to work. Mind you this thing looks like something you would see in some cam girl web stream. Get back to work, HE BROUGHT IT TO WORK. Asks our other coworker (ex army) who sometimes takes lunch with us. "Hey man, have you ever used one of these?"
Hilarity ensued, and we're still giving him crap for it.
He's a bit of a nerdy guy and has zero clue that this thing is probably a woman's best friend. Swears up and down he searched amazon during cyber monday for "neck massager".
Hilarity ensued, and we're still giving him crap for it.
He's a bit of a nerdy guy and has zero clue that this thing is probably a woman's best friend. Swears up and down he searched amazon during cyber monday for "neck massager".
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12-06-2016, 11:26 AM
Elite Member
iTrader: (9)
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Chesterfield, NJ
Posts: 6,892
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I had a similar situation when I sold my 323GTX. I guy from Maine (I'm in central NJ) saw it, seemed very interested, well written email exhanges. I explain all the details of the car well, lots of quality photos on my dad's lift, etc. He pays to have me bring the car to a Mazda dealership and have them write up a report, which matches what I say. He drives down from Maine in a GWAGON, spends a couple hours with me test driving it, inspecting interior and undearneath on a jack he brought. Then ultimately says along the lines of, he was never really interested in buying a GTX but he thought they were quirky and wanted to see/drive one in person. I was only out a few hours of my time and a lunch break bringing the car to the dealership inspection, but it was very odd. well thanks for letting me check it out, bye
TL;DR: Guy drives 20 hours round trip to tire kick.
TL;DR: Guy drives 20 hours round trip to tire kick.
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12-06-2016, 11:28 AM
Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: OKC, OK
Posts: 3,693
Total Cats: 222
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12-06-2016, 06:34 PM
Elite Member
iTrader: (37)
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Very NorCal
Posts: 10,441
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@Joe Perez, it looks like Wu-Tang Clan is hiring if you are looking for a change in career path
https://www.reddit.com/r/hiphopheads...ch_niggas_ama/
Ghostface Killah (Wu World Entertainment), is looking for the Brightest and Hungriest WIZARDS in Web, Apps, Video Game Developers etc.
If your familiar with the Wu-Tang Clan, GhostFace Killah is the founding Member outside of his extensive Catalog.
We are looking for highly qualified WIZARDS. We have services rendering from real estate, to products.
Previous experience in Multi-Media is a plus, but not necessary. Paid training with performance.
We promote from within. Full & Part time, Fun, Flexible hours, start immediately. Weekends are a must. Must be 18 years or older.
Please submit your Applications via email to wuworldent@gmail.com;
We're also speaking with People via HHH Thread Now;
App Developers Web Developers Video Game Developers Cartoon Animators Comic Book Illustrators Web and App Coders Fashion Designers Brand Ambassadors Marketing Analysis Real Estate Brokers/Agents Computer Engineering Financial Advisers
I REPEAT, I'M LOOKING FOR ALL MY WU WIZARDS -DINI
https://www.reddit.com/r/hiphopheads...ch_niggas_ama/
Originally Posted by GhostfaceKillah36SI
Ghostface Killah (Wu World Entertainment), is looking for the Brightest and Hungriest WIZARDS in Web, Apps, Video Game Developers etc.
If your familiar with the Wu-Tang Clan, GhostFace Killah is the founding Member outside of his extensive Catalog.
We are looking for highly qualified WIZARDS. We have services rendering from real estate, to products.
Previous experience in Multi-Media is a plus, but not necessary. Paid training with performance.
We promote from within. Full & Part time, Fun, Flexible hours, start immediately. Weekends are a must. Must be 18 years or older.
Please submit your Applications via email to wuworldent@gmail.com;
We're also speaking with People via HHH Thread Now;
App Developers Web Developers Video Game Developers Cartoon Animators Comic Book Illustrators Web and App Coders Fashion Designers Brand Ambassadors Marketing Analysis Real Estate Brokers/Agents Computer Engineering Financial Advisers
I REPEAT, I'M LOOKING FOR ALL MY WU WIZARDS -DINI
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12-06-2016, 07:30 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Round Pond, ME
Posts: 1,064
Total Cats: 232
Loyalty is pretty much a one-way street lately. Companies might have a brief period of remorse, but that wouldn't stop them from cutting you loose if they saw an economic advantage. A 40% advantage is way too big to pass on.
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12-06-2016, 08:21 PM
Boost Pope
iTrader: (8)
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Chicago. (The less-murder part.)
Posts: 33,022
Total Cats: 6,589
@Joe Perez, it looks like Wu-Tang Clan is hiring if you are looking for a change in career path
https://www.reddit.com/r/hiphopheads...ch_niggas_ama/
https://www.reddit.com/r/hiphopheads...ch_niggas_ama/
My software-development skills don't extend much beyond machine language for obsolete processors, which isn't exactly a booming career field...
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12-06-2016, 11:19 PM
Wait 2 weeks till Christmas sales. I've been playing Elder Scrolls Online and find it decent but i wish i had gotten the gold expansion pack for 30 bucks when it was on sale.
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12-07-2016, 11:22 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: OKC, OK
Posts: 3,693
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My position, in the manufacturing world, is typically the first to be cut from the Engineering dept when things slow down. I'm so happy to be getting out of this side of the business.
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12-07-2016, 02:28 PM
Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: OKC, OK
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12-07-2016, 03:22 PM
It was fine, I passed by a comfortable margin. Not my best score ever but after cramming for 5 days I'll take it. Thanks for asking.
I am taking the Project+ beta exam next Wednesday -- I was already starting to study for some project management stuff but I'm nowhere near ready for the CAPM or PMP exams. Project+ is cheap and it's a lifetime cert so I figured if I'm studying I might as well get a certification for my time. Once that's out of the way, I'll resume studying for Security+ and ideally take that by the beginning of February.
I am taking the Project+ beta exam next Wednesday -- I was already starting to study for some project management stuff but I'm nowhere near ready for the CAPM or PMP exams. Project+ is cheap and it's a lifetime cert so I figured if I'm studying I might as well get a certification for my time. Once that's out of the way, I'll resume studying for Security+ and ideally take that by the beginning of February.
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