my predicament
 

well i'm 27 and still live at home(laugh if you want but my family needs me around a lot). I'm getting married in june and totally planned on purchasing a home. Now my father who works for amtrak has been moved to california to fix some of the problems they have out there. Originally the plan was to see if he liked it out there and if the like the job. Well he does. He says the only way he can take this job is if i stay here and take care of his house because my younger brother and sister are complete fucktards. When i was born both of my parents worked 2 jobs and really did well for themselves over the years. My father worked night shift all my life, and he's finally got his chance to move to a warmer climate and take on a new job opportunity. My mother who really hasn't worked a real job in years will move out to california as well. My parents house is paid for, money is not the issue, but if i leave, it pretty much means my brother and sister will be forced to leave and my parents will lock down the house. I'm very much ready for my own place and peace and quiet. My fiance would be moving in here with me and she totally hates the fucking idea of living in my parents house, i'm not really sure what to do.

move in,

stay untill the "fucktards" r old enough to leave

keep the house

or sell it and buy 3 miatas

1 turbo
1 super charged
and 1 na 160 hp for under 2k

If you aren't ready to walk away from the house and the fucktards then you aren't ready to get married. Your fiance is right. Getting married is all about starting a new life together and separate from the influence of others.

why doesw she have such a problem with it? Sounds sorta weird.

+1

i am ready to leave the house, i did go to college, it was very hard to move back in. my gf wants to start our life together, as do i. however i kind of feel guilty passing up a free place to live with the housing market in shambles and ousting my siblings, possibly persuading my father to turn down the job offer and move back home

take care of your family first man, if she really loves you, she will support that.

ide say stay a while, save ur moneys

then in say 2-3 years, offer to buy the house from ur rents,
and kick the fucktards out

and then u have a house for cheap,
ur parents will make some money off u
and fucktards r gone

thats a fun word to type,, fucktard

It's cool that you're there for your family, but if you feel tied down at all, you gotta let them know. They should understand that you are ready for your own life and they shouldn't make you feel like you're costing them opportunities. My gf's parents have pulled guilt trip stuff and really it just makes everyone miserable.

Man I say stay. Its not like your parents are going to be living there. Then if the "ftards" act like f-tards you can bring down the hammer on them.

Plus saving up for you own placing or buying it from them just makes more sense to me.

Look out for yourself above all else. Take care of you first.

totally agree

dude i still live at home no shame in that. A free house to occupy and all you have to do is be cool and watch out for your fucktard siblings is a no brianer. It is not like it will take 15-20 years for them to grow up enough to where you won't have to watch out for them, and in the mean time you and the GF can buy or build your dream home think of this as a way to make the life you always wanted, and help out your folks at the same time.

This is the key. IF you force her into a situation she doesn't want to be in, you'll adding a lot of stress to your relationship. Consider what her relationship to your fucktard siblings will be like and what an awkward position that will put her in.

Get your own place. Your siblings and their issues are for your parents to deal with. Get married and start your life.

What are the ages of you, your finance and the fucktards?

Seriously! I YOU never accept to move in with your Fiancee in her parents house?! I would not! Say that you are sorry, but that you need to do your own thing. Good luck.

Obviously not knowing the entire situation so I can't say 100%, but I would tend to agree with this. But I also agree family is very important. If money is not object (you can afford your own house) then why not just leave and let them lock the house up? How old are your brother and sister? Old enough that they should be able to live and support themselves? Otherwise they shoudl be going to cali with their parents.

Bitches be crazy, you know that.

How old are the fucktards?

There's a positive and a negative to each side of this:

For one, yes I agree about starting your life together. This doesn't mean it has to be in a NEW house. Who cares if your parents lived there? That shouldn't matter, what should matter is that you are together. Its not your parents house anymore.. its YOUR house and its FREE rent. There's no price on that, especially since it allows you more disposable income for trips or saving for the "dream house". Our rent for a 1 BR is roughly 1700 a month, think of what that x12 could buy or how much interest that could accrue. Now I certainly come from PA too and I know that its not that extreme there, but you get the idea.

Now the other side, living with the fucktards CAN put a strain on your relationship if they live with you and her. You need to factor in how long they will be living with you and think of it as living with your buddies and her, there will be intrusions which will lead to fights, etc.

Most importantly do not think of this in terms of "owing" your parents. They seem like they will be happy no matter what. If you do choose to not move into that house, at least it will force the "Fucktards" to grow up and accept some responsibility.

How old are the two fucktards, and what exactly is their affliction? Seriously, are we talking wild parties with cocaine everywhere and flaming sofas getting thrown into the pool, or just a couple of lazy shits who don't want to get a job and stay out all night? Are they still in school, or otherwise obligated?

What is your relationship with the fucktards like? It sounds like you may be the favored son- is there animosity and resentment about that?

From a purely pragmatic standpoint, it sounds like you parents are giving you the house. Forgetting about the free rent for a moment, my guess would be that if you occupy and maintain it, you'll be the one getting it in the will.

And I honestly think that you have an obligation here. Your parents, who raised you, put a roof over your head, etc., are asking you to take care of the house and your younger (yet presumably adult) siblings. If your fiance is unable to deal with that, I'd take it as a warning sign.

Worst-case scenario is that you could probably make life sufficiently unbearable for the fucktards that they would be motivated to find a place of their own. I suggest that you consider investing in a set of JBL 4412 speakers, a decently-sized amplifier, and the complete Yoko Ono anthology.

Why can't said fucktards move to California with their parents? This is your parents' problem--not yours. Selling the house and moving their stuff across the country is their responsibility. They're using you to take the easy way out. It's not fair to you to put that type of pressure on your new marriage.

If you love your g/f, then the money you would save may not be worth fucking up your marriage for.

yeah, make sure your parents and fucktards know you love them and move out and live with your gf/fiance/wife.

haha lol, well my younger brother is 23, lazy peice of shit who never graduated high school and only holds a job long enough for my parents to get off his back. my younger sister is 22 but also has a 2 year old son. She's not so much lazy, she works but for some fucking reason doesn't know how to watch her kid and my brother ends up watching her kid all the time. it's kind of a complicated web of scenarios. The job my father is aiming to take on i supposed to only be 2-5 years and my parents want to enjoy california if at all possible while they are there. i don't know it's pretty messed up, i'm just hoping something happens that makes my decision for me so i don't have to worry about it

uh yeah, I agree with your fiancee, time to cut that shit off and move on with your own life, earning equity and gaining net worth in your own home.

^^well if it is like that dump emm

Yep. By you being the parent/taking responsiblity at home you are only enabling your brother to be a slacker too.

Definitely sounds like a bad situation that's only perpetuated itself. Locking up the house sounds like an easy way to make things change- for everybody. Aren't you sick of baby sitting your siblings? I'd suggest renting rooms to the bro and sis to "assign" some responsibility BUT I don't think that'll fly since it's "mom and dad's" house. I think your parents need to rent the house, give you a % as property manager, which in turn you can save for your house purchase.

I'll send you an angry Italian grandmother to live w/ the siblings for awhile. Bet you my miata that your brother and sister shape up real quick.

sounds like the fucktards learned from your parents, dump shit on you!!!
make it stop, the sooner the better, only reason they are dragging their feet is because they can, with your parents in cali and you living on your own, im sure your brother will pick up some slack as soon as he gets hungry...
good luck, but you need to look after yourself, not saying ditch your family, but it sounds like you have done too much for them already...

I'm sure you love your parents but do you want to actually be your parents?

I think you should be the one finding a killer job someplace else and moving.

When I thought maybe they were teenagers, I was thinking you should stay in the house. BUT; at their ages and no disabilities other than lazy, move on with your new wife and life.

stay in the house and kick the fucktards out

thanks for the encouragement guys. the other problem is the thought of buying a home right now with no signs of stability scares me, it'll be interesting to see what happens when the houses start hitting the market in the spring.

i just closed on a house a week ago, you gotta buy now before evryone else starts lookin...it creates demand and sellers hold onto their prices, but then again i know nothing about your market place

Perfect time to buy now. Just do your homework and don't overpay. I have a sister-in-law that waited too long to sell. She could have gotten over 500K for a small house in a nice town. Now she can't get offers around four.

If you decide to buy, try to get pre-approved to a certain limit by a bank/lender before you get too far. My brother did that and practically stole his house because he could close in 2 weeks - the sellers needed to sell NOW and nearly wet themselves because they could. Market's getting crappy, at least around me, and if you don't need to sell a place first and you're approved already, you have a big advantage.

getting pre approved is pretty easy, you can do it over the phone. i called my broker in the afternoon for the application, and he called me back the next morning for the approval and faxed me the pre-qual sheet.

I agree - NOW is the time to buy a house AND "they" want you to buy. I don't get the issue with stability - I thought you had a job. And I think your parents are nuts not to rent the place, especially if their "golden boy" is there to manage it. :D

+1 on the moving out. What if a few years in CA for your parents turns into a longer term stay, then what? If it was just for a year, then maybe, but it could easily end up that they want to stay out there b/c they love it and you're stuck here with the house and kids and pissed off wife.

i'm already pre-approved, and i don't think now is the time to buy in my area, houses have been sitting for over a year and in the spring when more go up for sale there will be more to pick from since i still can't find what i'm looking for, and have been looking for a year and half. also there should be rate cuts next, month and again in april.

the stability i'm speaking of is in terms of my localreal estate market, the bubble has finally burst here but people are still dreaming of what they could have gotten 2 summers ago, things are on the downturn here and should continue to do so, catching it closer to the bottom saves me tons in the long run. if i miss out, oh well live at home some more, i refuse to make a poor buying decision

+1 on moving out, and +1 on buying now. The fucktards are your parents problem. They should have kicked them out years ago (say at 18.) If they didn't want the responsibility of kicking them out of the nest then they either should have used a condom or be prepared to move them to CA.

Not your problem... unless they were disabled or mentally handicapped in some significant way.

Mark

when i say time is now i dont mean go and buy the first thing, make ridiculous low offers on things that have been sitting for a while and you just might luck out, if something first lists they wont move much on the $$

I agree with making lowball offers on houses that have been on the market for a while, especially if they owners have moved out, that's how I got my house, however you can't go around making lowball offers on everything you see because they usually require some earnest money to make an offer.