Are we talking about the cat or the GF?

:asshole:the only hairy beast who handles her is me, and I'm keeping her in captivity.

Thats it, im reporting you to the animal protective services, right after I find out if they exist:D

My cousins have a pet cheetah, its very cool. They raised it from a cub because its mother abandoned it. It was basicly a German Shepard sized kitten for a year then it decided that it wanted to start eating the house staff so they let it run wild for a year so it could go get laid. Then it started coming back to the house more and more often and has become a fuck off guard dog that sleeps on the stoop.

Oh and before this sounds too rediculous I should probably mention that they are game keepers with a massive reserve in Zimbabwe.