Prepair to waste an hour. ruminations.com (It's spelled prepaRE, dipshit.)
08-21-2009, 08:58 PM
#1
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Prepair to waste an hour. ruminations.com (It's spelled prepaRE, dipshit.)
Snatched from a board the GF uses. Aaron Karo presents Ruminations.com
1) A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
2) More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3) Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4) I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
5) Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6) I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
7) The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
8) Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
9) There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10) Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first saw it.
11) I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
12) The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
13) How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
14) I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
15) The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
16) I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
17) Was learning cursive really necessary?
18) Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
19) I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
20) Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
21) My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
22) Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
23) How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
24) I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
25) Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
26) What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
27) While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
28) MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
29) I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
30) Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
31) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
32) Bad decisions make good stories
33) Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
34) Is it just me, or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
35) If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
36) Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
37) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
38) Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
39) There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
40) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
41) "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
42) I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
43) While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
44) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
45) I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
46) When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
47) I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
48) Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
49) As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
50) Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
51) It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
52) I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
53) Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
54) Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my *** everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
55) My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
56) It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
57) I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
58) I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
59) I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
60) The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
1) A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
2) More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3) Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4) I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
5) Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6) I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
7) The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
8) Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
9) There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10) Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first saw it.
11) I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
12) The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
13) How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
14) I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
15) The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
16) I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
17) Was learning cursive really necessary?
18) Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
19) I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
20) Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
21) My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
22) Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
23) How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
24) I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
25) Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
26) What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
27) While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
28) MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
29) I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
30) Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
31) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
32) Bad decisions make good stories
33) Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
34) Is it just me, or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
35) If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
36) Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
37) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
38) Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
39) There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
40) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
41) "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
42) I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
43) While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
44) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
45) I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
46) When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
47) I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
48) Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
49) As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
50) Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
51) It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
52) I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
53) Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
54) Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my *** everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
55) My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
56) It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
57) I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
58) I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
59) I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
60) The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
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08-22-2009, 12:57 AM
#5
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I like 54 the most because its so damn true. It can take me 30 seconds to get my keys out of my pocket, but that damn alarm clock barely has time to make one loud BBMMAAAAAPPPP! and that bastard is off and I'm back asleep.
Oh and 60. Me and a friend used to get Chinese, same place, same lady. Every time we got food for just the 2 of us, she would either say 6 or 7. We would end up with a bag of forks and fortune cookies. **** yeah!
And don't forget 5. I did that earlier today.
Oh and 60. Me and a friend used to get Chinese, same place, same lady. Every time we got food for just the 2 of us, she would either say 6 or 7. We would end up with a bag of forks and fortune cookies. **** yeah!
And don't forget 5. I did that earlier today.
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08-22-2009, 09:12 AM
#8
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Round Pond, ME
Posts: 1,064
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No. 57 -
Years ago, our car got stolen, wife and I got a ride home from a cop. He was pissed about following a guy going 45 in a 45 zone. Wish I could tell when they don't care....
Years ago, our car got stolen, wife and I got a ride home from a cop. He was pissed about following a guy going 45 in a 45 zone. Wish I could tell when they don't care....
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08-22-2009, 09:30 AM
#9
Boost Pope
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I literally LOLed at #8.
And it's funny, because while I'm no old fart, I can remember when doing research meant spending hours in the reference room at the library (or driving for hours to get to a university library), ordering books via ILL and waiting weeks to get them, writing letters or making phone calls to companies requesting that they send information to me via the mail, etc.
Every now and then, as I'm downloading a manual or a spec sheet from somebody's website, I ask myself "How in the hell did we ever get anything actually designed and built 20 years ago?"
And it's funny, because while I'm no old fart, I can remember when doing research meant spending hours in the reference room at the library (or driving for hours to get to a university library), ordering books via ILL and waiting weeks to get them, writing letters or making phone calls to companies requesting that they send information to me via the mail, etc.
Every now and then, as I'm downloading a manual or a spec sheet from somebody's website, I ask myself "How in the hell did we ever get anything actually designed and built 20 years ago?"
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08-22-2009, 08:37 PM
#14
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Yeah, im pretty sure we are already done with dvds.. They are called bit torrents.. (or any digital format). 1tb hd = 1,000s of dvds.
And all of those are great, actually lold on a few.
And all of those are great, actually lold on a few.
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08-22-2009, 09:19 PM
#15
Boost Pope
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Location: Chicago. (The less-murder part.)
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?!
Videotape in general is pretty poor as an archival format, and VHS (including SVHS and DVHS) is among the worst of the videotape formats. I'm not talking bandwidth or S/N, it's actually a simple mechanical failing.
The control track, which is the signal that synchronizes playback by denoting the beginning of each frame, is at the very bottom edge of the tape as viewed in a standard top-load or front-load machine. Every time the tape passes through the machine, de-spooling, running through the rollers, and re-spooling again, it's the bottom part of the tape that bears all the weight and consequently tends to become slightly warped. Even if you're just in straight FF/RW mode (with the drum completely unloaded and the capstan and pinch roller disengaged) the simple act of unwinding and rewinding the reels damages the control track on every pass. After enough plays, the control track degrades beyond recognition, and no technology presently exists that can repair a damaged control track.
And easy to use? I'm guessing you've never worked as a video editor.
Editing tape in general sucked ***, and editing VHS/SVHS was just horrible. Even my $20,000 AG-7750 / AG-7650 / AG-A350 setup was hit-or-miss when it came to doing frame-accurate edits. And God help you if you find that you need to insert a 5 second shot into the middle of a finished product. You can't just drop the scene in and ripple everything out, you have to re-lay every single ******* cut from the insert point all the way to the end. (The guys working with 2" Quad in the '60s had it easy- they just cut the damn tape with a razor blade and spliced it like film.) These days, a $150 capture/editing system from Best Buy outperforms what I was working with at the pro level 15 years ago by a hundred orders of magnitude.
Optical media, while not flawless, does not degrade as a result of the playing process. And nonlinear, even if you have to deal with transcoding, is just ******* awesome from the editor's standpoint.
But yeah, I don't see BluRay sticking around for too long, and it'll probably be the last of the physical distribution formats. When I can (legally) stream a movie from Netflix to my Xbox360, well, that's pretty much critical-mass in terms of a technology going mainstream.
Videotape in general is pretty poor as an archival format, and VHS (including SVHS and DVHS) is among the worst of the videotape formats. I'm not talking bandwidth or S/N, it's actually a simple mechanical failing.
The control track, which is the signal that synchronizes playback by denoting the beginning of each frame, is at the very bottom edge of the tape as viewed in a standard top-load or front-load machine. Every time the tape passes through the machine, de-spooling, running through the rollers, and re-spooling again, it's the bottom part of the tape that bears all the weight and consequently tends to become slightly warped. Even if you're just in straight FF/RW mode (with the drum completely unloaded and the capstan and pinch roller disengaged) the simple act of unwinding and rewinding the reels damages the control track on every pass. After enough plays, the control track degrades beyond recognition, and no technology presently exists that can repair a damaged control track.
And easy to use? I'm guessing you've never worked as a video editor.
Editing tape in general sucked ***, and editing VHS/SVHS was just horrible. Even my $20,000 AG-7750 / AG-7650 / AG-A350 setup was hit-or-miss when it came to doing frame-accurate edits. And God help you if you find that you need to insert a 5 second shot into the middle of a finished product. You can't just drop the scene in and ripple everything out, you have to re-lay every single ******* cut from the insert point all the way to the end. (The guys working with 2" Quad in the '60s had it easy- they just cut the damn tape with a razor blade and spliced it like film.) These days, a $150 capture/editing system from Best Buy outperforms what I was working with at the pro level 15 years ago by a hundred orders of magnitude.Optical media, while not flawless, does not degrade as a result of the playing process. And nonlinear, even if you have to deal with transcoding, is just ******* awesome from the editor's standpoint.
But yeah, I don't see BluRay sticking around for too long, and it'll probably be the last of the physical distribution formats. When I can (legally) stream a movie from Netflix to my Xbox360, well, that's pretty much critical-mass in terms of a technology going mainstream.
Last edited by Joe Perez; 08-22-2009 at 09:34 PM.
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08-22-2009, 11:48 PM
#17
2 Props,3 Dildos,& 1 Cat
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And when nothing is "on demand" (some studios dont release everything to on demand), I just search the next few weeks of the HBO/Cinemax schedule and record a few HD movies to watch. In theory, the quality is better than DVD...
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08-23-2009, 12:08 AM
#18
im not a video technician joe i just watched the stuff i didn't edit it. Aside from a few instances of tape eating and wearing i had good luck with all of my vhs's. hell im just now accepting dvds as normal. I miss normal casset tapes as well but that is another story.
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08-23-2009, 12:47 AM
#19
When my niece was 4 or 5, we were still coming out of the VHS era, so you could still get a lot of Disney stuff on tape. It was great. She had her own little TV in her room and a stack of tapes she could stick in the vcr by herself when she felt like watching a movie. You could even teach a kid to rewind and fast-forward with the big clunky remote. No biggie.
My nephew, on the other hand, is growing up in the digital age. He isn't allowed anywhere near the DVD collection because all it takes is one scratch and they are done. We have to put the movies in for him because the menus are stupid, and the remote has a billion buttons on it, mostly for crap that you never use.
In some ways, I think DVD's are complete bullcrap. Give me a media format that is optical media in a durable case, like a minidisc or a floppy. Something I don't feel like I have to hold with latex gloves. Hell, you could throw a VHS cassette out of a window and it would still work.
My nephew, on the other hand, is growing up in the digital age. He isn't allowed anywhere near the DVD collection because all it takes is one scratch and they are done. We have to put the movies in for him because the menus are stupid, and the remote has a billion buttons on it, mostly for crap that you never use.
In some ways, I think DVD's are complete bullcrap. Give me a media format that is optical media in a durable case, like a minidisc or a floppy. Something I don't feel like I have to hold with latex gloves. Hell, you could throw a VHS cassette out of a window and it would still work.
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08-23-2009, 12:56 AM
#20
When my niece was 4 or 5, we were still coming out of the VHS era, so you could still get a lot of Disney stuff on tape. It was great. She had her own little TV in her room and a stack of tapes she could stick in the vcr by herself when she felt like watching a movie. You could even teach a kid to rewind and fast-forward with the big clunky remote. No biggie.
My nephew, on the other hand, is growing up in the digital age. He isn't allowed anywhere near the DVD collection because all it takes is one scratch and they are done. We have to put the movies in for him because the menus are stupid, and the remote has a billion buttons on it, mostly for crap that you never use.
In some ways, I think DVD's are complete bullcrap. Give me a media format that is optical media in a durable case, like a minidisc or a floppy. Something I don't feel like I have to hold with latex gloves. Hell, you could throw a VHS cassette out of a window and it would still work.
My nephew, on the other hand, is growing up in the digital age. He isn't allowed anywhere near the DVD collection because all it takes is one scratch and they are done. We have to put the movies in for him because the menus are stupid, and the remote has a billion buttons on it, mostly for crap that you never use.
In some ways, I think DVD's are complete bullcrap. Give me a media format that is optical media in a durable case, like a minidisc or a floppy. Something I don't feel like I have to hold with latex gloves. Hell, you could throw a VHS cassette out of a window and it would still work.
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