The AI-generated cat pictures thread
04-10-2012, 01:19 AM
#9720
Boost Pope
iTrader: (8)
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Chicago. (The less-murder part.)
Posts: 33,019
Total Cats: 6,587
From: Ella Johnson
Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 2.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Book
I've perused your website before and must admit I laughed at the story
about the police officer. I work in a bookstore and when your book
came in as stock, I made the mistake of browsing through it. While
some of it was mildly amusing, you crossed the fine line between dark
humor and psychopathy.
It's quite jarring to go from laughing at drawings of spiders to reading
your fantasies about torturing and killing cats. This ruined the book
for me. Animal cruelty is a mental illness and usually the first sign of
a sociopath. Serial killers torture animals when they are young. It's
my most fervent opinion that you need to find a highly skilled
psychiatrist post-haste and I have left a review on Amazon warning
potential buyers.
Ella J
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 3.28pm
To: Ella Johnson
Subject: Re: Book
Dear Ellla,
Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points,
others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed
at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated
"I am interested in your nipples" or not. Cats have nineteen.
As people can only provide unbiased opinions about things they
have no interest in, your zealous fervour regarding cats is
understood but misdirected.
At no time have I ever "fantasized about torturing and killing cats."
This is an assumption you have made and I am puzzled to its origin.
Are you referring to the article titled David and his best friends
spend a day at the beach on page 116? I have attached an excerpt.
Regards, David.
From: Ella Johnson
Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Book
No of course I'm not because you just made that up. There is nothing
in the book about cats making you their king. I was referring to at
least 3 articles that mention cats being tortured or killed. The text
on the page number you mentioned actually states:
"I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he
dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter,
I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it.
If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my
mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came
to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to
him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had
to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on
about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go."
The thought of a cat being trapped and frightened in a box in the dark and
slowly starving to death is what you call humor? Pathetic. You need to take
a good long look at yourself and seriously consider seeing a psychiatrist
for your own safety and those around you. I have no idea how you managed
to get published by Penguin writing disgusting material that cleary illustrates
a complete lack of morals and ethics.
Ella J
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 4.57pm
To: Ella Johnson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Book
Dear Ella,
I never stated the cat starved to death and you have simply assumed
that it didn't enjoy the experience. Cats like being in boxes. Also, it was
a fairly big box. I could understand your concern if it had been a shoebox
but it was at least twice that size. It is easy to take something written
out of its original context and make it look bad.
A few years ago, I was commissioned to write copy for an annual
publication produced by Top Tourist Parks of Australia. After a print
run of seventy-five thousand and distribution throughout Australia
and New Zealand, it was discovered that I had left the letter v out
of the word 'dive' and the introduction for a five-star family resort
activity stated "Die with your children. A new world awaits."
Apparently a child had drowned the year before so I admit it was bad
timing but these things happen, there's no point carrying on about it.
Also, despite your opinion that I am without either morals or ethics,
many of the articles in the book have an underlying message expressing
the contrary. I have attached the article David and his best friends
go to the movies which clearly illustrates this.
Regards, David.
From: Ella Johnson
Date: Wednesday 01 June 2011 9.32am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Book
Obviously we have differing opinions on what constitutes acceptable ethics
and offensive humor. I suggest reading some of Chelsea Handler's books.
Her humor is spot on and while she can be a bit risque at times, she never
crosses the line like your book does. You could learn a lot from her.
Fortunately, in my store at least, I am in a position to dictate where on the
shelves your book is displayed so nobody will see it and I will also be sure
to warn customers against buying it if they bring it to the counter. Good
luck with sales, you will need it.
Ella J
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 01 June 2011 2.14am
To: Ella Johnson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Book
Dear Ella,
Your efforts to protect both cats and customers should not go
unacknowledged. If you have access to a printer and scissors, you
could make yourself a little badge. Anyone can form an opinion but
it takes a certain type of person to carry that opinion through to
consumer censorship. In a million years, if mankind dies out and cats
inherit the earth, they will probably build a statue of you featuring a
cat nestled in one arm, a can of petrol in the other, and a pile of my
books at your feet. Or one of you cleaning your bum with your tongue.
Unfortunately, your efforts to impinge book sales are not required as
Penguin's marketing team seems to have the same strategy. I visited
a Barnes & Noble store this morning, expecting to find copies of my
book distributed throughout, but located only a single copy in the home
and garden section next to Diana Kennedy's The Art of Mexican Cooking.
I left with a pop-up book about trains and two fridge magnets so I
understand the concept of impulse buying but targeting only those
preparing for next year's Cinco de Mayo is a stretch.
In contrast, Chelsea Handler's book was displayed throughout the store
and even had its own colourful cardboard display. Based on your
suggestion, I had a quick flick through and owe you a debt of gratitude
as I now realise what it takes to receive excellent reviews on Amazon
from people like yourself.
Regards, David.
From: Ella Johnson
Date: Wednesday 01 June 2011 3.27am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Book
Last email as arguing with a moron is a waste of my valuable time and
all you have done is display how ignorant you are. I doubt you have
even read anything by Chelsea Handler so what would you know?
Nobody asked for your opinion anyway.
Ella J
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 01 June 2011 5.24pm
To: Ella Johnson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Book
Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 2.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Book
I've perused your website before and must admit I laughed at the story
about the police officer. I work in a bookstore and when your book
came in as stock, I made the mistake of browsing through it. While
some of it was mildly amusing, you crossed the fine line between dark
humor and psychopathy.
It's quite jarring to go from laughing at drawings of spiders to reading
your fantasies about torturing and killing cats. This ruined the book
for me. Animal cruelty is a mental illness and usually the first sign of
a sociopath. Serial killers torture animals when they are young. It's
my most fervent opinion that you need to find a highly skilled
psychiatrist post-haste and I have left a review on Amazon warning
potential buyers.
Ella J
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 3.28pm
To: Ella Johnson
Subject: Re: Book
Dear Ellla,
Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points,
others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed
at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated
"I am interested in your nipples" or not. Cats have nineteen.
As people can only provide unbiased opinions about things they
have no interest in, your zealous fervour regarding cats is
understood but misdirected.
At no time have I ever "fantasized about torturing and killing cats."
This is an assumption you have made and I am puzzled to its origin.
Are you referring to the article titled David and his best friends
spend a day at the beach on page 116? I have attached an excerpt.
Regards, David.
From: Ella Johnson
Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Book
No of course I'm not because you just made that up. There is nothing
in the book about cats making you their king. I was referring to at
least 3 articles that mention cats being tortured or killed. The text
on the page number you mentioned actually states:
"I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he
dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter,
I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it.
If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my
mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came
to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to
him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had
to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on
about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go."
The thought of a cat being trapped and frightened in a box in the dark and
slowly starving to death is what you call humor? Pathetic. You need to take
a good long look at yourself and seriously consider seeing a psychiatrist
for your own safety and those around you. I have no idea how you managed
to get published by Penguin writing disgusting material that cleary illustrates
a complete lack of morals and ethics.
Ella J
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 31 May 2011 4.57pm
To: Ella Johnson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Book
Dear Ella,
I never stated the cat starved to death and you have simply assumed
that it didn't enjoy the experience. Cats like being in boxes. Also, it was
a fairly big box. I could understand your concern if it had been a shoebox
but it was at least twice that size. It is easy to take something written
out of its original context and make it look bad.
A few years ago, I was commissioned to write copy for an annual
publication produced by Top Tourist Parks of Australia. After a print
run of seventy-five thousand and distribution throughout Australia
and New Zealand, it was discovered that I had left the letter v out
of the word 'dive' and the introduction for a five-star family resort
activity stated "Die with your children. A new world awaits."
Apparently a child had drowned the year before so I admit it was bad
timing but these things happen, there's no point carrying on about it.
Also, despite your opinion that I am without either morals or ethics,
many of the articles in the book have an underlying message expressing
the contrary. I have attached the article David and his best friends
go to the movies which clearly illustrates this.
Regards, David.
From: Ella Johnson
Date: Wednesday 01 June 2011 9.32am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Book
Obviously we have differing opinions on what constitutes acceptable ethics
and offensive humor. I suggest reading some of Chelsea Handler's books.
Her humor is spot on and while she can be a bit risque at times, she never
crosses the line like your book does. You could learn a lot from her.
Fortunately, in my store at least, I am in a position to dictate where on the
shelves your book is displayed so nobody will see it and I will also be sure
to warn customers against buying it if they bring it to the counter. Good
luck with sales, you will need it.
Ella J
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 01 June 2011 2.14am
To: Ella Johnson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Book
Dear Ella,
Your efforts to protect both cats and customers should not go
unacknowledged. If you have access to a printer and scissors, you
could make yourself a little badge. Anyone can form an opinion but
it takes a certain type of person to carry that opinion through to
consumer censorship. In a million years, if mankind dies out and cats
inherit the earth, they will probably build a statue of you featuring a
cat nestled in one arm, a can of petrol in the other, and a pile of my
books at your feet. Or one of you cleaning your bum with your tongue.
Unfortunately, your efforts to impinge book sales are not required as
Penguin's marketing team seems to have the same strategy. I visited
a Barnes & Noble store this morning, expecting to find copies of my
book distributed throughout, but located only a single copy in the home
and garden section next to Diana Kennedy's The Art of Mexican Cooking.
I left with a pop-up book about trains and two fridge magnets so I
understand the concept of impulse buying but targeting only those
preparing for next year's Cinco de Mayo is a stretch.
In contrast, Chelsea Handler's book was displayed throughout the store
and even had its own colourful cardboard display. Based on your
suggestion, I had a quick flick through and owe you a debt of gratitude
as I now realise what it takes to receive excellent reviews on Amazon
from people like yourself.
Regards, David.
From: Ella Johnson
Date: Wednesday 01 June 2011 3.27am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Book
Last email as arguing with a moron is a waste of my valuable time and
all you have done is display how ignorant you are. I doubt you have
even read anything by Chelsea Handler so what would you know?
Nobody asked for your opinion anyway.
Ella J
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 01 June 2011 5.24pm
To: Ella Johnson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Book
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