Selling my house... FOR SALE BY OWNER... Advice?
 

Great house in great neighborhood with no issues. Yard is tits, it's like angels live there. We've spent the past 2 weeks making it sparkle and it's got a sign up in the yard now.

We're meeting with a property attorney that we have history this week just to find out if there's anything we don't know.

We have several realtor friends that we've consulted and they've been pretty helpful.

But for the love of sweet baby Jesus, we can't figure out the best way to get it on the MLS. All the google'able places seem like shyster sites and want $400 and have a bunch of hidden fees... like trying to sign up for cable.

If you're familiar with the FSBO process, please just spell it out for me!

-Sammy

Looks like usrealty.com has some positive press, but the talking head recording on the company phone line is a terrible fake british accent, and it goes straight to voicemail in a shady way.

Its like walking a minefield of hidden bullshit and legalese doubletalk. All I want is my house on the MLS with my phone number in the ad. For some reason people want $400 for that.

I bought my house FSBO. I just found out about it through networking.
It's otherwise pretty difficult to find a good house FSBO.

Have you ckecked out Zillow? No idea the cost but; How-do-I-post-my-home-for-sale- also For Sale By Owner; FSBO Packages

You can put a complete FSBO ad up on Zillow completely free... and that add also feeds to Trulia. Then Craigslist and NextDoor... plus a couple other free sites, whatever is popular in your area. I'm using all of these and also MilitaryByOwner.com for obvious reasons.

In order to get your house up on the MLS, which then will auto-feed onto Realtor.com, you need a broker. The going rate for a broker to do this is $400. But there are a ton of "catches" that just make this avenue a fucking nightmare. YOU as the seller can't have your personal information on the MLS... so any phonecalls go through the broker you used, so they get first dibs on actually selling it... or you can pay them an extra $100 and phone-calls are forwarded to your cel. So, it's $400 for 10 minutes worth of internet data-entry. And there's another dozen or so "fuck you" landmines to be wary of with these places because most people don't speak the language and are already shit-scared because the most expensive thing they'll ever own is on the line.

I get why the MLS doesn't allow regular people to advertise... it's because if they didn't make it "realtors only", every agent in the country would be out of business overnight. All you really need to sell a house is a lawyer to look over the offer and make sure you're not getting screwed somehow, and a title/closing company to do the paperwork required by that state. Otherwise buying/selling a house is the exact same shit as buying a used car... 2 dudes can just do it over a handshake.

But .. without a realtor how will you get the best possible deal ? They do this for a living!

*That was sarcasm just in case the tone wasn't clear.

Sam you get your 20 years in or is uncle sam sending you some place else?

Man, the more time I spend on this shiz, the more pissed I get. I think I've finally found the least scummy website that does this stuff. Fizber.com might actually do what I need it to do... for $350, the wife is all up in my biz about it.

I'm negotiating my final set of orders now (should be about 30months)... trying to get out of sea duty, but looks like I might be headed back to a ship. I've got no more bargaining chips, so I'm kinda at the mercy of BUPERS... trying to minimize the pain. In the end, the worst thing that could happen is I have to deploy somewhere and get 8 months tax-free and get to kill terrorists, because it looks like there's a neverending supply of those assholes out there, at least it's good clean fun.

lol. realtors are a scam that make thousands and thousands for doing 30 minutes of clerical work, and some cases a few hours being a chauffeur and Googling for lazy old people.

such a antiquated self-serving industry

Did I mention we paid $360k in 2005 and by 2008 it was only worth about $260k. Market has recovered enough that we asked $350k... still $10k less than it was worth 12 years ago.

After 2 weeks of limited action, we paid a local realtor to put it on the MLS... been up a week.
Today we got our first offer, which we countered, and they countered, and we countered, and they countered... SOLD!

We close in a month with 1% under full price offer and meeting in the middle on closing costs... plus 3% to their realtor.

After 12 years of ownership, we're gonna walk away with about $20k... which is a fucking shame considering we put about $80k into it over the years. Another way to look at it is that we lost $60k over 12 years and socialism would make it all better.

My epiphany... realtors are obsolete. Despite my liberal arts degree, there is really nothing to it. There is a standard contract that 99% of the industry uses based on state laws. The contract will be signed tomorrow, then they get a home inspection and we negotiate what may need to be fixed. Then the house gets appraised and renegotiate if it's less than their offer, which it won't be. Then the title and escrow company works their magic with taxes and various bullshit that they do... and at some point the bank cuts a check which the escrow company disburses. And on 26 July, we drop off the keys to their realtor. Everything today that the realtor "did", I could have done with the new buyer in 10 minutes over a beer, and we both would have saved a shit ton of money.

Another way to look at it is that $417 a month in rent ain't bad, especially after the mortgage interest deductions you took on your 1040. I am fundamentally suspicious of the whole "a house is an investment" meme. Normal people don't buy cars as investments, why do they expect used houses to appreciate in value?

Also: 12 years? God damn, it seems like yesterday that you guys bought the place...

Such positive waves man, like, thanks for the vibe!

I've got 3 years left in the Navy... currently in base housing and loving it. I'll probably have to deploy one last time at some point, so looking forward to the financial wrangling to tuck away enough money to put 10% down on whatever we end up buying when I'm done. $50k down should do it in the neighborhood we want to live in, so I think I'm gonna have to get lucky on a few of these penny stocks to manage that. We didn't settle on the first house, we just got the shaft when the market shit itself... our next house will be a 20+ year proposition, so not gonna fuck that one away.

I bought my first (and current) house from the parents of one of my best friends. I used another friends father to do the paperwork, because he was studying to become a realtor, and wanted the practice. He wouldn't take any money for it.
Everything at closing except the legal stuff was between me and the friend's parents. Closing date was "whenever you finish moving, give me a call". They sold me a whole bunch of furniture and stuff cheap, and I moved in a bed and was done.

Yes, it saved both of us a boatload of money, which I put straight on the mortgage.

Positive vibes:



(Seriously, if you've never listened to the full album, watch the video.)

I'm kinda jealous of a man 3 years from finishing out the biggest contract of his life and moving on to the next stage.

On the other hand, I'm moving on to the next stage in exactly two weeks and one day. Looking forward to having a garage again, and fully plan to be a homeowner a year after that if everything goes well. Debating between just buying something average for cash vs. building something really fabulous.

[Serious]
I've started contemplating buying a Porsche again. Probably a 2nd gen Boxster. Someone please convince me that this is a bad choice and talk me out of it.
[/Serous]

I've been waiting for you to revisit your "What car do I buy to pitch woo to the ladies?" thread.

Nah, I don't give a shit about that. I just keep wanting a Boxster ever since I drove my co-workers a while back. Makes the NB chassis feel like a wet noodle by comparison, yet it's still plush & comfy.

Home inspection yesterday... 4 hours long. Some things that I was worried about never came up, but a lot of little things that I'd never though of dominated the list.

Big things:
Upstairs AC unit only blowing about a 12* delta... a healthy unit should blow at least 20*. It's 14yrs old.
Soft spot in roof crown from a long-ago-replaced leaking peak vent. Roof will need to be replaced in 5-8yrs anyways. There's a fan up there that's been disconnected for a decade as well.
One of the main floor joists isn't sitting on it's block foundation properly. Should be able to fix that with a floor-jack and some light taps from a 3lb beater.

Smalls:
Some soft spots on brick-molding on exterior doors.
Downstairs sink shows signs of periodic leaking on pipes.
Heat-lamp in downstairs shower blown ballast.
Exterior outlet for dryer vent cracked.
Garage wall outlet missing cover.
Front steps missing some mortar in places.

Might be a few more things I'm forgetting, but all piddly.
The buyer and his realtor were there... as we were walking out, the buyer turns to me and says "Sam, you can get all the staging furniture out, nothing on that list is gonna keep us from closing on time"... which I'm certain would have made his realtor shit himself if he'd heard it. I'm obviously not replacing the AC or fixing the roof... but the whole list of little shit is a day (max) of my own labor and $100 total.

Come 26July, I will no longer be a homeowner. Base housing for another 3 years while we look our tits off for our long-term place... already got the neighborhood and middle/high-school we want.

Aren't you a little old to be cruising for school aged girls?

Hopefully he has the cash to fix the roof NOW. I don't know how it is in VA, but in OK insurers won't write coverage on anything that basically has a roof more than about 5 years old.

And if the insurer won't write coverage there will be no mortgage.

Just something to keep in mind or possibly talk to realtor/seller about.

I wonder if that is due to tornadoes and hail out in OK. The roof on my house probably needs to be replaced in the next 2-4 years, plus the 4 years I have been in the house. No problem whatsoever getting insurance when I bought the house.

Yeah, it is. Our HO insurance is also relatively expensive (given how cheap most everything else is here) because of the frequent storm damage. Hail, tornadoes, and also straight-line wind with severe thunderstorms. It's not uncommon to have to 60-80 mph winds when a storm rolls through and gusts even higher.

There are a couple of things to consider when talking about "the roof". If the 2x4's that make up the structure of the house... the plywood that is laid on top of those... and the "covering" in whatever form that happens to be. Plus all the protrusions... vents, pipes, fans, etc...

I just don't understand why all roofs aren't made out of thin aluminum sheet and then covered with some sound-absorbing paint that you can just re-spray periodically if it gets thin. Never worry about water damage, infinitely repairable with JBWeld, bend all the shapes and corners by hand... why the fuck do we still make houses out of wood?

In any case, won't be my problem in 27 days.

ALSO... was offered a sweet job in Barking Sands (Range Officer) to finish off my Navy tour. How the hell do I turn down 2+ years on Kauai?

That shit is what caused our roof damage... the peak vent was too small for the pitch of the roof. Every time it rained with some solid wind, the WIND would blow the rain UP the roof and into the attic. We had a little Cat-1 hurricane roll through and it blew enough water in to stain the ceiling in the master closet, otherwise we never would have known.

Tip of the fucking year... if you own a home... GET UP IN THE ATTIC AND DOWN IN THE CRAWLSPACE ONCE A QUARTER. Do yourself a favor and suck it up. Just set your calendar alarm for the first Saturday of the quarter and spend 30 minutes on a solid inspection of each space. Practically nothing can happen in an attic or crawlspace in the span or 90 days that can't be fixed with minimal effort... but you let that shit go until you notice it from inside the house... FUCKED!

I grew up alternating between the gulf coast of Florida and San Juan, PR. All "decent" homes there have exterior walls constructed either from CMU or poured concrete, and finished with stucco. In PR, the roofs of nicer homes are also poured concrete. I remember Tio José describing to me 30 years ago about the process of watering the roof twice a day during the construction of his house in Río Piedras in the 70s. (They have since moved stateside. Man, I really miss that place. I am getting seriously emotional right now. First time I saw Back to the Future was on the top-loading Beta machine in the little den in the northeast corner of that house with several of my cousins, with hard-coded Spanish subs.)

When I first moved up to Ohio c. 2000 and saw that houses there were all made out of wood, it seriously freaked me the hell out. As in: I *literally* thought that they made that shit up in the Three Little Pigs story. Had no concept whatsoever that nailing sticks together was actually an accepted construction method in much of the world.

After Hurricane Charley in 2004, aluminum roofs really took off in a big way back in FL.

As someone who is seriously contemplating buying a home on the Atlantic coast of NC, I am troubled by the fact that they seem to still be stuck in the 12th century in terms of building materials and technology.






Protip: if you own an expensive, complex thing, inspect it from time to time.

Anybody know a moderator?

Seriously... us old (40+) guys should should have a thread full of nothing but "life lessons"... like basic rules for buying a house and shiz... absolutely nothing car-related unless it comes directly from Corky (he didn't die, did he?) or Emilio. Make it like a Twitter thing, 150 characters or less lessons on how not to fuck up simple shit.

I'll start with the first lesson:
"If you have a college degree and don't know what you want to do with your life, absolutely look into becoming a military officer."

Heh. Not sure I feel comfortable comparing myself to OlderGuy and Godless Commie in terms of "being a wise adult." Sometimes I wonder why people trust me with managerial responsibilities, multimillion-dollar budgets, and the sanctity of our FCC license, given that I still play videogames and drink like a frat boy. (Well a frat boy with money and good taste. Call it the Harvard chapter of ΣΦΕ.)

Serious question: are you actually comfortable being entrusted with nuclear weapons, billions of dollars worth of hardware, and other peoples' lives? Or do you sometimes ask yourself "Why the hell do they actually trust me to be around this thing unsupervised?"



^ Truth.

When I was in college in the mid 90s, I absolutely knew what I wanted to do with my life. I watched the dot-com bubble happen in real time, all the while thinking "What a bunch of retards. Good thing my industry is stable, mature, and will be totally unaffected by this whole world-wide-web thing."

Turns out that 20 year old me was a retard who couldn't see the future.

I mean, it's been a fun ride, and it's far from over. But in retrospect, it probably would have been an easier time, with far less fear, uncertainty and doubt, if I'd have actually had a conversation with one of the many Navy recruiters who started calling after I sent in the selective service card rather than just shrugging them off. The thought of me being able to "retire" in two years and start Life Chapter III while collecting a pension is something that's simultaneously very attractive also also basically impossible to visualize as a 20 year old.

It's not necessarily a valid option for some. I, for instance, am very disdainful of authority. I would not have done well in the military in my younger years.