So my college roommate was roommates with another guy the year before he and I lived together. He always told me stories about his old roomie and how he used to come home at 3 in the ******* morning on a weekend completely wasted. He was loud and obnoxious, and he was generally not a very good roommate. Fortunately, my current roommate had the top bunk last year, so he never had to worry about the constantly drunk roommate puking on him and whatnot.

For time's sake, we'll call my current roommate steve, and his ex-roommate drunko.

So steve is in bed at 230 am on some saturday night. He just got back from the bars with his friends, and had enough time to change into a pair of gym shorts turn the lights off, and jump in his bed before drunko came into the room. Drunko brought a girl back with him.

Drunko didn't turn the lights on when he came in, instead he closed the door behind them, and the two proceeded to lay on Drunko's bottom bunk and make out - in a sloppy drunken make-out sort of way. Not wanting to be akward, or scare off Drunko's girl, Steve lay quietly on his top bunk, and hoped he could soon fall asleep.

Several minutes passed, and Steve wasn't going to fall asleep for awhile, as the two below him were starting to get hot and heavy. It didn't take long for steves bunk started moving rhythmically head to toe, matching the rhythm of the two lovemakers on the bottom bunk. Steve considered mentioning that he was in the top bunk, but decided that tomorrow is Sunday, and he didn't exactly have to get up early anyways. It started slowly, but then proceeded to move quickly; much more quickly. She was moaning, and he was rocking. Within a couple of minutes, Steve overheard Drunko's girl softly speak to him: "Oh baby, turn me over and put it in my butt"

"There's no way he's going to go with that," Stevo thought quietly to himself, but low and behold, about a minute later, the bed started moving again, albeit this time the rhythm of the bed was much slower than it had been previously. The girl was moaning, but trying not to be too loud. This continued for about 3 minutes before it came to a stop. Then came the cry, not quite ear piercing, but certainly surprising to Steve:

"Holy ****, you just **** on my dick!" Drunko exclaimed. Steve's eyes went wide as silver dollars, and it was everything he could do to keep himself from breaking out into roaring laughter. Within mere seconds, the smell of fresh human feces reached Drunko's nose, and combined with his drunkenness the smell quickly took Drunko into and past the gagging point. Drunko proceeded to expel the contents of his stomach squarely onto the back of this girl.

Steve heard Drunko barf, and could no longer hold himself back, he burst out into what would be considered full on ROFLMAO (Rolling on the floor, laughing my *** off). In fact, Steve was laughing so hard at the mishaps of the drunken couple below him, that he fell off of the bed and broke his left arm.