So it's payday...
 

...and I check my account using the BoA droid app at lunchtime like I always do on payday.

Now today was different as we'd had a Gift Exchange yesterday, which also involved lots of sweets.

(I ended up with a Nerf revolver which I've modded to have 1/2" of spring preload using 4 nickels..."mother fucker slings some darts")


We all got very generous bonuses from our awesome owner, Doc, and I quickly summed up in my head what should hit my account today. Of course I'd already decided last night how to allocate the money. After setting aside another chunk in savings to cover hospital bills next month when the baby comes I stayed up late thinking which combination of parts and tools would get me the furthest along in my projects.

I look down at my phone and the balance is at least $1000 less than I expected.



FINE! I admit...I forgot about taxes...but I'm used to a few (several) hundred dollars being nicked.

This is the first time I've ever had the government step in between my employer and I and cut a full grand off of what is passed. And as I look around at what our government does with the money I'm truly hurt and angered that the money is not at my disposal.



http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...bill-1995-.jpg

When I reenlisted in the Army the government took 1/3 of my bonus. Which I think is retarded.

Getting bonus checks is the saddest thing.

I know what the government does with your taxes; I work for the DoD. Thanks for the paycheck, but they could survive on a lot less money.

it doesn't matter how much they take, they'll spend like they have much more regradless.

Tips > Bonuses.

I gave away $13,000,000.00 more tax dollars than I should have last year because of racketeering and or a management team that is hypersensitive to political, now I get to go to court over it and prove that I maintained ethical purity.

tips are supossed to be reported, but everyone knows that you only report 10% of your earnings.

#occupy waiters.

I remember the first time that happened. I knew ahead of time what my (gross) bonus was going to be and decided to treat myself to something I had wanted for years that cost about the same as the bonus.

And then I got the net amount with the ~30% haircut and learned an important lesson about not spending money I didn't have in my hand. ;)

I report tips.

sucker!

Annoy a waiter: pay with a credit card

I always use a credit card, but I always leave tips in cash. The servers at places I frequent aren't making much.

When I was waiting tables in college/grad school, we were required to report 8% of our total sales as tip income. This was what was always reported unless the credit card tips were greater than 8%, in which case that total was reported.

cash bonuses ftw
taxed bonuses ftl

How much will it cost in lobbying to get you to "give" me a cool $1,000,000? I can "start" a company owned by an Alaskan female native if need be to help you "give" out that money. And if you happen to find a van outside your apartment with a key and signed title in it, I would not ask questions.


I just got my bonus check today. I dislike how much the Government takes. I am now trying to figure out how to spend it. Do I pay down school debt, buy car parts, or a down payment on a rape van.

After moving to the US from Canada I was super excited at the low taxes.




It wore off since.

and if I am not mistaken, bonus' are taxed more than regular pay roll, which stinks!!!!

If all those bonuses you guys are getting is causing undo stress just send them to me and I will take one for the "team".

Fucking bastard senators. It's criminal.


No seriously, it's criminal.

Bonuses are indeed taxed at a higher rate. However, you will get a good portion of them back at year's end.

My company pays out bonuses each month based on our performance. If the company profits, we do as well. I think I get clipped for about 37% taxes on the bonus checks.

Can you expound on this? Which "year's end?"

Tax time.

That's why I re-upped in Afghanistan, 100% tax free bonus. Maxxed (sp?) SDP too, but I'll have to pay tax on the interest from that. Still, not bad.

I got raped on my original enlistment bonus WRT taxes though. 25% IIRC.

I think I understand what you mean, but I don't think that's really accurate. You only get some of the taxes that were withheld back if they withheld more in total for the year than you end up owing.

For instance, if - in total - you paid in ~30% of your income in taxes but ended up with an effective tax rate of ~23%, you will get some of it back.

If, on the other hand, they withheld ~30% and you have a ~33% effective rate, you will owe.

Well, duh. But I did state that they are taxed at a higher than normal rate. In other words, my usual tax cut is about 25%, I think. Bonuses are taxed at a higher rate (over 35%), and they take out more from them. So, at year end, I've paid more in than the nominal rate, and so get a refund.

I have my deductions set fairly high, so I am usually pretty close, and would not be getting much of a refund, but the bonuses, being taxed higher, skew that. Result is that I get a larger refund.

I was going to post that but didn't want to come in out of nowhere all accountant like. lol

Yes, most bonuses are taxed higher when you get them, but not in the entire tax year as whole. We have a graduated tax system in the US so getting a large bonus pushes that payment into a higher tax bracket or some employers/payroll tax systems will use a flat 28% rate on bonuses which is higher than most people's effective tax rate for the entire year.

At year end, what matters is your total income for the year, not the sources or timing of that income.

lol @ more whining about taxes. you have it so good tax wise in the USA you don't even know it.

everyone wants moar better. we all cant just move to galt's gully.

wat

if you have to ask, you'll never know.

I honestly wouldn't mind paying taxes... if so much of it wasn't wasted. That is where I have an issue.

It is a reference to Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. Galt's Gulch is a hidden valley in Colorado where the "heroes" form their own rather libertarian community to wait for the collapse of the rest of the world.

I thought looting was utopia?

Not only wasted, but spent to keep the deadbeats living large. We've all seen the EBT cards used to buy steaks and other luxury foods, the scumbags on welfare with the latest cell phones, 20" wheels, flat screen TVs, etc.

It's time to overhaul the whole handout system INCLUDING social security, medicade and all the rest. And we also need to completely cut off shithole countries like Packistan and all the rest that get aid. Screw the rest of the world until we get the American budget under control.

There are those that would argue that things like foreign aid are a drop in the bucket. Well, so what? We have to start cutting, and that's the first place to start. 700 million would make every regular poster on this board filthy rich. Why not give it to us instead of some crappy country that hates us anyway?

without foreign aid, some of those countries you despise might become pure terrorist states with even more volatile governments and absolutely no reason to not hate the US outright.

it's definitely a drop in the bucket when you consider the benefits aren't just bleeding heart guilt relief.

also only scumbags are on welfare and social security.

:giggle:

How dare you be the voice of reason on this, y8s! HOW DARE YOU!!!!

Is that like paying a toll every time you walk into the gym shower so you don't get raped by a 5 year old?

Lets see in 2009 we gave 483 million to Egypt...who's in charge now? we've given them about 2 billion a year since 1980. Glad it's finally paying off...

Iraq, Afganistan, and Pakistan has received about 6.5 trillion from us in 2009...no terrorists there.

how much of the 489 million we gave Nigeria help their poor? IIRC they are still a starving tribal system run by 12 year boys with ak47s.

same goes to the 917 million giving to kenya.

or what about the 465 million we gave to mexico?

Does Israel really need our billions every year.



some of these nations got more than our stimulus, but that was a HUGE deal. yet we give 60 billion away a year in ecomonic aid.

If we completely cut out the foreign aid and put 1/4 of the total saved into effectively controlling our border security we would be closer to doing what the Constitution actually dictates. That, and eviscerating the failed social engineering experiments of welfare, social security, farm subsidies, endowments of the arts, minimum wage, etc.

you're cruel. think of all the strawmen.

Burn them.

Again, we've given Egypt 2 billion a year since 1980.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...day-shame.html


http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/...-7_634x444.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/...64_634x416.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/...63_634x423.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/...01_634x380.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/...58_634x432.jpg






it must all go to the beautification programs:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/...42_634x421.jpg

I have a feeling the money wasn't well spent:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...d-Twitter.html

Lets invade.

(kinda srs about parts of Africa)

Invade? How about we just stop giving them money. Honestly we need to think of ourselves a bit more. It sucks that is happening, but we are not going to change it. Not with money, not with troops.

lNVADE! lNVADE!

I'm still not sure why we placate so many of these people. As a wise man once said, "Radioactive oil still burns just fine."

These are thugs. They are thugs to each other, they are thugs to us, they are thugs to their women, with a thuggish moral code, founded by a thug. Or a local warlord or whatever.

I <3 my taxes

If I lived down south I'd be one pissed off tax payer...

Seriously. If I am going to live in a socialist nation I would at least like some of the benefits. Liks say roads that dont suck and schools that 1) Are not bully pulpits of politically minded teachers and 2) actually get some consistent funding. We sink billions into education each year and yet we still have broke-assed schools simply because those schools are in shitty areas with low property values. Which stay shitty with low property values because they dont get educated because their schools are broke. Good thing we threw money at the problem. :facepalm:

It would also be swell if I had health benefits that were not on the verge of being cut-off (which will make me a law-breaker unless I buy inflated cost personal insurance, thanks for helping me Obama), and did not need a second income to have any hope at all of saving any cash.

And the sad thing is that I am in far better shape (and grateful for it, contrary to rant mode above) than a lot of the people I see everyday. For reasons totaly outside hw how smart or hard-working I am.


Edit: Personaly I think aid could bea great program even with our budgetary woes, except that we have totaly FUBARed it. That aid is one of the REASONS people hate us, and frankly I can see their point. For decades we have funded near any Bananna Republic maniac who is willing to kill commies or at least people they say are commies. That sort of thing tends to piss people off. If I had freinds and family killed by some corrupt psycho and it was all bankrolled by say Luxembourg, I would have a bit of a bone to pick with them...

I see the correlation.

I do not.

I see thugs beating innocent and helpless people when they are on the ground simply because they can.

Good eye.

except one has the legal authority to use force.

I see a woman who should be in the kitchen!!!











I KID I KID!!! It is indeed messed up though.

Taking a closer look since you mentioned it, the guy trying to stomp her isn't in uniform and is wearing street shoes instead of boots like the others. I wonder if the cops are dragging her away from him?



And she needs to shave her pits.

Brain: check your PMs

yo, real talk, you know that bitch has poor hygiene.