Virginia: The most glorious place on earth
 

God was missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael, the Archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired, “Where have you been?”

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.”

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?”

“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test Balance.”

“Balance?” inquired Michael, “I’m still confused.”

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. “For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Some parts of the planet will be extremely hot, while others will be very cold and covered in ice.”

God continued pointing to different areas. “I’ve placed a continent of white people here, and over there is a continent of black people, and another continent for yellow people. Balance in all things.”

The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land area and said, “What’s that part of the world?”

“That’s Virginia, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Virginia are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things.”

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, “But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.”

God smiled, “Right next to Virginia is Washington, D.C. Wait till you see the idiots I put there.”

Modest?

Fairfax county imprisoned me. That I will never forgive.

well you cant fuck with FC. tons of cash, tons of units, tons of free time, lack of real crime.

Wow. I'm dissapointed with you Scott. That joke is so old, Megasquirt wasn't even an idea yet.