What is it with kids and nitrous?
 

Around here, I normally only get “called out” by retirees in Porsches and Corvettes who are eager to show off their new toy. If it’s a Boxster or a C5, I’ll play. If it’s a Z06 or a Turbo Carerra, well, I know my limits. But for the most part, the younger crowd are content to try to out-deafen each other with license plate rattling subwoofers, or out-low each other with pneumatic suspensions. Yeah, that’s still in style down here. We’re a little behind the times.

So this afternoon I drove down to have dinner with the family. US-41 most of the way. It’s a pretty boring road that serves no other purpose than to allow Punta Gorda, Port Charlotte, and North Port to exist. Two lanes in each direction with an unpaved median, 45mph, and straight as Fred Phelps.

Halfway there I’m in a cluster of slow moving traffic approaching a stoplight about 200 meters out. I do some quick in-and-out maneuvering to work my way to the front of the pack. Apparently, some kid behind me in a four door Saturn notices this. As I take off, he quickly pulls alongside.

You gotta see this car to believe it. Rattle-can black paintjob, springs cut so low he’s bouncing around like a Sherman tank on what is a relatively smooth road, an exhaust tip large enough for an adult raccoon to fit through, and poorly fitting fiberglass side skirts. Who the hell makes aftermarket body accessories for Saturn sedans?

At the next light, we’re both at the front of the pack. As we pull to a stop, I notice that in the passenger seat is a girl who is clearly egging him on. I thought that only happened in movies. He revvs the engine, making fart-pipe noises. Then he vents a little nitrous.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me…”

I give the engine a couple quick blips. Those of you who have seen my car know that it doesn’t sound particularly intimidating, and it looks dead-stock. The light turns green, there’s no traffic ahead, so I demonstrate what acceleration looks like. Kind of a no-brainer situation here. I honestly felt a little bad for the kid.



On the way home this evening, I guess I pulled away from a light a bit harder than usual (though the tattletale said I’d only hit about 130 kPa up to this point) because a few moments later, up roll two kids in some hatchback to my left. They both look pretty clean-cut and the car is no beater, but they might have seen F&F a few too many times. The passenger leans out the side window and comments on my tablet PC, which is pretty obvious at night. The driver revs the engine. The passenger shouts “You got nawz in that thing?”

Nawz?

Why does every male resident of the state of Florida under the age of 30 seem to think that nitrous oxide is the sole and ultimate power adder, handed down to mankind by Newtonius, god of Torque?

“Nope, just a turbo,” I shout back.

“Just” a turbo. I make it sound like the vehicle is somehow deficient. Like after spending $5k and 2 years massaging this engine, I couldn’t swing the extra $200 for a bottle to consume what little trunk space there is and give me an extra 25% or so for a few seconds between refills.

No, I don’t have nawz. I only have two atmospheres of manifold pressure under my right foot, with proper engine management to match.

At least these kids knew what was coming.

http://codebloo.net/stuff/picard-headesk.jpg

nice read joe. thanks. BTW.....no NOS talk up in these parts. i see more kids riding around in new Benzs and Bimmers than any type of modified ride.

Joe, I actually look forward to reading your rants...they make me happy.

If there is a honda up here, its slammed on cut springs and has a hideous exhaust.

For a second I thought this was going to be a thread about whippets, and then I remembered which forum I was on.

One word, Joe: Hollywood.

Nice read, as usual.

lol great read.....

see when some kids ask me something similar I usually try to have some fun with it. If asked: " what have you got done to that thing?" I usually reply with something like:
"Oh man way too much. its got a v12 with quadruple turbo's and dual stage nawsss injection but right now I got it tuned down to 4 cylinders for the street."
they usually pull away saying something like "damn man, didnt know mad props for that, the car looks stock":giggle:

Would you rather these idiots have 200whp (130lb/ft)? If you think I'm obnoxious at 28, imagine how dangerous I was at 19 when I had 488whp/482wtq and 0-174mph in less than 1-mile.

I only have about 300 miles on my turbo car, but I had a lot of fun jacking with the ricers with just a little more throttle so I walk just inches at a time...then finally a squeeze of the loud pedal, never letting them catch up again. Its especially fun in 5th gear, because it sure sounds like you're not trying when you stay in overdrive, lol.



:bowrofl:

A couple years ago I was riding with my dad in his 69 rs/ss (605", 3-stage squeeze, jericho dog box, strange mid, MW rear end, and everything else to make it legal to 7.00 which it needs) and we ran into a gang of hondas. It was pretty lol. The car makes 600+ just on the motor, he has another 600hp of juice over the 3-stages.

Meh, nitrous can be fun when done right. Me and a friend had a kit. We would put it on random cars and have fun. Same kit was put on a 89' Prelude, a 92 Paseo (yeah, I said Paseo...), 96' Caravan (got arrested in said Caravan....), 92' Camaro, and probably another car or two in between. It's good fun for the buy in cost, and super easy to install compared to a custom turbo setup I must say. A big shot on a saturn would be fun to play with. Though turboing it would be better I must add. But fun/$$ ratio nitrous can be the winner.

Always wanted to fix nos to a couple rental cars and go out to eastern washington and have a blast on the straight desert roads =P

Good read though. I cant drive my girlfriend's stock 4dr integra without getting revved at by every asshat in a civic.

Worst that happened in my miata was when a buddy and I were going to the store to pick up some beer. School had just been let out it seemed. A 9 year old kid leans into my car (top down) at a stop sign and says "Nice car fag!"

I would have broken his nose, and said "Nice shoes". I would then proceed to steal said shoes.

Good read.

F&F ruined it for all sadly.


"You almost had me? You never had me - you never had your car... Granny shiftin' not double clutchin' like you should. You're lucky that hundred shot of NOS didn't blow the welds on the intake! You almost had me? "

I love stupid people. I get the same thing in my ML...you can hear the supercharger...so everyone trys to race...but even the M3's get shut down.

Back when I was into DSMs and all of the modded DSMs would head to Norwalk Ohio for Buschur's Diamond Star Shootout, my friend would fly in from OK, rent a Maxima, and strap the bottle on it and rag it out at the dragstrip. Then return it to the rental company a bit worse for wear.

Good times back then. Nitrous has it's moments.

Frank

Just you bitches wait until Fast and Furious 4 releases this coming year :) You'll have every newb in their honda civic or equivalent, adding nitrous and neon lights to their car...again.

Oh, and as a general rule of thumb: I don't race it unless it cost like 20k more then my car.

i got a guy in a 335i the other night froma 50-130 run...we were even until about 120 and I started pulling....then shut it down. The best part was when I stood on the brakes at 130 and watched what appeared to look like a dozen lit sparklers in front of a fan....it was the sparks coming off of my brakes..oh yeah. Said BMW was impressed.

you've got to be kidding me!!1 :bowrofl:

I wish, would have been assaulting a minor AND a hate crime cause he was black =P

I really wish my buddy had opened his door into the kid though. He was laughing way too hard to have thought about it though.

to be honest I would be so stunned by some little kid saying something like that I'd probably sit there and laugh for a good 5 minutes myself.....opening the door on him is a good idea though: no hate or assault since you were just trying to exit your car:)

i had a 75 shot on my car pre-turbo. and will prob put a 100shot on my lincoln.

.


If the car you speak of was a certain VW, I am patently unimpressed; or are you making an assertion that having an over-powered VW a good thing now?

:fawk:

my turbo corrado was the shit and got tons of bitches. I was an idiot when I was young and had that dangerous of a car. I topped it out every night on the way home from work. It was fwd, and still gay.

I don't even bother with ricers. I know I'll win, and that's good enough for me.

I do enjoy pissing off WRX/Evo/Carrera/M3 owners, though.

fixed ;)

Luckily I've been seeing NO ragged out cars on the road trying to race me. In fact, I don't even see fast/modded cars anymore. Strange.

Damn Joe, you live really close to me. Like 10 minute drive close. I've even seen the Saturn you mentioned. I hate the car scene down here, for the most part at least. F&F rules everyone's life when it comes to cars.

You know what they say; bottles are for babies, real men get blown.

Why don't you put your location in your sig, then?

That way we all know who's local.

What I learned when I moved to Florida:
If you cut the muffler off your mom's economy/family car it instantly becomes a sports car.

Rubber bump stops are the most aggressive suspension tune available.

It is flashy to spray paint your tiny stock calipers and drums bright colors.

Everyone knows you are modified if you have black soot all over the back of your car from running pig rich.

If you are not naturally blonde you are required to have at least one foreign flag emblem displayed.

Aftermarket bumper covers are not required to be securely fastened at the ends.

Window tint is only available in shades of purple and must have prominent bubbles.

"Old school" is a '88 Civic instead of an '98 Civic.

When lowering a car to the bump stops and adding rims, stock front wheels and tires should be retained.

Large adjustable rear wings are required to keep an Accord firmly on the road at its terminal velocity of 92mph.

It is fashionable to have sparks eminate from the vehicle's underbelly even on improved roadways.

A "Monster Tach" is required for any lowered car with mismatched body panel colors that is missing its muffler.

All bumper covers are to have at least one prominent crack and/or should not match the color of the rest of the car exactly.

You should always disconnect/spray paint/change colors on your tailights to assert that your Honda is different from the identical one sitting right next to it.

Only one WRX has ever taken me, and it was a built STI block with a 20G. Dead nuts even from 45-120 with a 271whp VF22 car, and I generally pull a little on Stage 2 STIs. ;)

My favorite all-time kill is still the E46 M3 I put 5 lengths on from 30 to 120 - I'm sure his wife was thrilled :D

While I completely believe you, your trap speed puzzles me a bit. it says in your sig you trap 100 (i'm assuming that is on your best pass yet)..however a BONE STOCK sti traps at lest 102 with an average driver. My 05 stage 2 wrx (downpipe+exhaust+ good tune absolutely nothing else) put down 13.1@102, and the 07 was quite a bit quicker with same mods. we all know a trap speed is a good indicator of what a car will do on the street from a roll, and here you are beating stage 2 sti's which trap at least 105 with a car that traps 5 miles less. 5mph difference in trap is pretty significant. just doesnt make sense

*edit: here at sacramento raceway I have seen many stage 2 sti's put down mid to high 12's with trap speeds over 105. not to mention a couple with just a couple more mods (larger tmic, more boost, wga helper spring) run low 12's at 109......unless you have some slow sti's in so-cal, I just dont understand

too much traffic around these parts to ever get a good race on. Case in point. Raced an Elise the other week from a light. I have no traction in the first two gears at all. He did. By the time I caught traction and started pulling up on him in third we had caught traffic.

im from you uk and get loads of loosers in ther little hatch backs at the lights rev'in the knakers of ther cars and usually get asked for a race unfortuantly only been young myself i can't resist i let them have a head start 1st

the evo and impreza owners must feel so sick i just slow down and let them trundle buy with a grin on my face

i have 100bhp jets in my nitrous and thats on top of the 274rwhp i have already
its some what of a handful of the line


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haha!

I really haven't notices any NOS around....well...any age group around my area.
I would actually like to see a REAL mod done to a car, versus the younger crowd's gravitation towards ricer tendancies (lights, stickers, and wings)

In my experience, this forum encounters either the slowest STI/EVOs in history, or the worst drivers.

Frank

:giggle:

I think kids and the uneducated look at NAWS as a magic juice they spray into the motor to make unlimited HP. It's easier for them to think about than all the mechanical concepts and whatnots of any other way to make power.

naws isnt magic juice? WHAAAA?:D

but seriously, I think lots of kids use it mostly because its so simple. Fill up a bottle, mount it and plumb it in: really not that hard. Half of them dont do it the right way though, like no controllers/safety precautions/etc and blow their cars up. but hey, for those 5 seconds they are spraying, they are GOD!!!


most of them live a quarter mile at a time too:bowrofl:

It's like a +3 speed potion.




what are you looking at?

QFT, goddamn.

150 shot on our Hennessy viper...is that rice?

I haven't been revved at in at least 20 years. Seriously. And I'm in a town of 250K people.

come to california;)

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LMFAO!! That is so fucking funny!

On the way back from Staples some punk in a Scion with a fart can revved at me and from what it looked like wanted to race. Seriously the saddest shit I've probably ever seen.

I saw a TC make 450 fwhp on a mustang dyno yesterday. Better watch out