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-   -   whats really going on? (https://www.miataturbo.net/insert-bs-here-4/whats-really-going-30118/)

Turbo_4 01-09-2009 05:06 PM

whats really going on?
 
Sooooo...long story short: I've been with this chick for almost 7 years. A little over a year ago she moves in with me...about 6 months ago, engaged. Before she moved in she was very...low maintanance. Then when she moved in she started this new job, at this resteraunt where looks seem to matter(no not hooters). Since then she turned into one of those typical...always nails done, hair always perfect, name brand everything...nothing is good enough girls. Honestly, I've done a lot for her, and she knows it. The car she drives, phone she uses, roof over her head...all mine. I built up a life for myself and tried to bring her into it. The problem lies with the fact that I'm working on my bachlors and working a bunch...so that's my priority. I don't party or get "fucked up" every weekend. I have no time for anything. That's one reason this turbo shit is taking so long. She on the other hand just wants to party. Club every week, parties every other night. When I would want her home instead of her partying with her friends, "I'm controlling."

So over the last month she starts acting different. Sex life went down the drain. No more kisses when comming home, just some chick watching tv or on myspace. Christmas, she goes to Houston to see her family. New Years, she goes to Austin without me clubbing with her friends.

The other day she gives me the ring back and says she wants to do things on her own. She wants to have her own life...not living through my life and my stuff. But she still loves me and can't stand to be away:hustler: I hate to say it, but I think she has been with someone else. I mean, the other day she came home and her "shit" was all red and beat up and she didn't want to have sex...because it got irritated somehow. A couple days later...still no sex. And now we are at this point. She is about to start sleeping in the guest room until she can get her own finances together. Fucking women.

*Rant over*

Braineack 01-09-2009 05:07 PM

the answer is more boost.

BenR 01-09-2009 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Braineack (Post 351282)
the answer is more boost.



Indeed, that's why she's been cheating on you with Hustler lately. He actually has teh boost.

Joe Perez 01-09-2009 05:14 PM

Ask yourself two questions.

1: What would your reaction be if everything went back to the way it was two months ago. Ie: still designer everything and parties every other night. Would you be satisfied with that state of affairs?

2: Given everything that has happened to date, how would you feel if everything went back to the way it was six months ago? Ie: no clubbing, no designer everything, etc. Would you immediate forgive and forget everything that has transpired (including the recent possible infidelity) or would you be likely to harbor some doubt?


The answers to those two questions are really all you need to determine whether it's time for her to move out of your place and return the car. This business with the guest room is no good.



I'm curious- what was here living situation prior to moving in with you? Was she living with her family, with a friend, etc?

messiahx 01-09-2009 05:15 PM

Damn man. Sorry to hear that.

I've kinda been in your shoes. Was engaged to a girl and we had decided to move ~120 miles from where we were living b/c she wanted to change schools (I was done with college). So I move, get a job, get an apt, etc., doing all of this on my own while she finishes stuff where we were living. And then she just doesn't move, leaving me barely able to afford bills, etc. It took me about 6 months to get back on my feet. Haha, and then at one point she wanted to "try again", so I give her a chance, only to find out something's going on between her a friend (former friend now, lol) of mine.

All I can tell you is that it'll take a while, but it'll get better. Again, sorry to hear. I know that kind of stuff is tough.

ChairFaceChippendale 01-09-2009 05:25 PM

at least it happened before you got married. i say throw her out like a parking ticket.

Toddcod 01-09-2009 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Turbo_4 (Post 351281)
Sooooo...long story short: I've been with this chick for almost 7 years. A little over a year ago she moves in with me...about 6 months ago, engaged. Before she moved in she was very...low maintanance. Then when she moved in she started this new job, at this resteraunt where looks seem to matter(no not hooters). Since then she turned into one of those typical...always nails done, hair always perfect, name brand everything...nothing is good enough girls. Honestly, I've done a lot for her, and she knows it. The car she drives, phone she uses, roof over her head...all mine. I built up a life for myself and tried to bring her into it. The problem lies with the fact that I'm working on my bachlors and working a bunch...so that's my priority. I don't party or get "fucked up" every weekend. I have no time for anything. That's one reason this turbo shit is taking so long. She on the other hand just wants to party. Club every week, parties every other night. When I would want her home instead of her partying with her friends, "I'm controlling."

So over the last month she starts acting different. Sex life went down the drain. No more kisses when comming home, just some chick watching tv or on myspace. Christmas, she goes to Houston to see her family. New Years, she goes to Austin without me clubbing with her friends.

The other day she gives me the ring back and says she wants to do things on her own. She wants to have her own life...not living through my life and my stuff. But she still loves me and can't stand to be away:hustler: I hate to say it, but I think she has been with someone else. I mean, the other day she came home and her "shit" was all red and beat up and she didn't want to have sex...because it got irritated somehow. A couple days later...still no sex. And now we are at this point. She is about to start sleeping in the guest room until she can get her own finances together. Fucking women.

*Rant over*

Please don't take offense to this. But this is from personal experiance.

Man, make her move out. "She just want's to get her finances together." Forget that, Make her move in with a "party friend."
And then SHE WILL COME BACK! SAY NO!

I have been through this. They don't want you , but they don't want someone else to have you. You don't owe her anything.

And don't let her have the car. Put her on her ass.... You just got screwed. She made her decision, Now she has to lay in it.

And always avoid her! It doesn't matter if all you friends are at the party or what. If she is there stay away. Change your phone number. Otherwise, you will give in and be in a rollor coaster ride.

End it. She has family she needs to go to them, or a friends. This is killing you. Get her out.

Sorry to hear this happened to you. Good luck man.

y8s 01-09-2009 05:35 PM

you typed out the long version.

here is the short version: she's not interested anymore and too chickenshit to break up with you.

solution: get her moved out on her own asap and break up with her. do not break up without moving her out unless you REALLY want to meet the next guy she sleeps with.

100 to 1 she will complain and cry a lot but not go out of her way to compromise and stay with you.

of course giving you advice based on a single post is meaningless. you have to talk to her, not us.

just dont let her use you anymore.

levnubhin 01-09-2009 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChairFaceChippendale (Post 351294)
at least it happened before you got married. i say throw her out like a parking ticket.



+1 and do it asap! Infact don't come back here until she is permanently gone. Don't go fot the ride man it sucks. Believe me, I look back at my early twenties and can't believe how much time I wasted on a no good chick. There's plenty out there man, look out for yourself 1st.
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kenzo42 01-09-2009 05:51 PM

Give her the boot.

hustler 01-09-2009 05:56 PM

99 problems but a bitch ain't one.



Its better that it happened now and not in 10-years. there's a few million women on the continent, you just ruled her out. Who's next?

MX_Eva 01-09-2009 05:56 PM

Seriously sounds like she moved in with you and started living the life she wanted to live, and not the way you expected. She wants to figure out her own finances, fine shut off the cell phone, move her stuff out onto the curb and take the car keys. Sounds like you don't owe her anything. I feel like the other man thing is probably terrible and you feel bad about it, or even suspecting it. The whole lump in your throat and passive aggressive shit. It's not cool.

Get her out, she says she can't live without you but has been. Moving into guest room is her choosing to live without you.

If she reverts back to the way things were then great, but i wouldn't expect it, and if she does and puts up a fight about it, don't do it she'll just end up resenting you and hating you for it.

samnavy 01-09-2009 05:59 PM

Question... how old are both of you?

rmcelwee 01-09-2009 06:00 PM

Dating is to find the perfect girl to marry. She is not it. Get rid of her now or marry her, give her half your stuff in the divorce and then get rid of her...

18psi 01-09-2009 06:07 PM

get rid of her asap. been there done that, got rid of the bitch and am now happily married to a person that loves me for who I am and wouldnt dare going somewhere without me unless I urged her to.

dont be "mr nice guy" and what not. those are the ones always getting screwed in the end and end up on late night sex forums chatting with hustler

Ben 01-09-2009 06:08 PM

Oh, sorry about that. Didn't realize she was yours.

Get her out of your house and your car. Then tie it off completely and immediately.

Braineack 01-09-2009 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben (Post 351319)
Oh, sorry about that. Didn't realize she was yours.


oh shnap!

oconnor 01-09-2009 06:38 PM

Drop that bitch like 8th grade french.

Mach929 01-09-2009 07:05 PM

piss on her while she's sleeping, and pretend like it never happened

BenR 01-09-2009 07:27 PM

I completely agree with everyone else. Especially about the car and the guest room. WTF

She gave you no courtesy by cheating on you, why should you give her any?


She doesn't want you, she wants your stuff.


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