Woodward Dream Cruise Rant
 

A rant, if I may...

I live in the Greater Detroit Metro Area (come try the coneys, the Labatts, and the Tim Horton's coffee... don't worry, you wont get shot at too much, I promise). Just this weekend was the annual Woodward Dream Cruise. It's really a very cool event for the fact that at the cost of a tank of 95octane (my Miata only drinks the best) one can go and see many millions of dollars worth of awesome cars ranging from barely-running Model T's and Deluxe Coupes to Aventadors and Moslers (there was a rumor of a McLaren P1 roaming about this year, but alas my eyes were not so fortunate).

My issue with the whole thing is badly misguided folks who proudly go to show off their s4!t rides and hoopties. Sure, I'm cruising in a nearly stock '91 Miata, but I don't act like I'm overly proud of it, or park it in a prominent spot next to a 1988 Ferrari Testarossa. If I drive 35 minutes and sit at stoplights breathing the barely burnt combustion of the 1971 GTO ahead of me, it's not because I want to look at your 2003 Chevy Malibu that's been lowered, tinted, and painted a hideous tandem of bright green and dark, piss-ish yellow. The same goes to you, owners of the 1983 V6 Mustang that is still basically stock but hasn't been washed this year. Your car should sit next to a 2004 Lotus Elise only as a testament to how far the automobile industry has come, not as a "also worth your attention for more than 1.9 seconds to pity the driver".

And finally, likely the worst offenders are the owners of showroom-new muscle cars (Camaro SS and Charger SRT-8s) who like to rev and race from the lights against 1976 Datsun 280Zs which, due to the unfortunate case of being a freakin' Datsun from the 70's stand zero change at keeping with you. If I want to see a brand new Mustang GT revving and smoking tires I will come back on a non-Dream Cruise Friday night. Please, save the show, and smoke, and centerpiece status for cars that are real treasures!

Ok, that's my rant from this weekend.

It's not that big of a deal man... Everyone there is a car enthusiast.

I don't like douschebags who rev and want to race everyone just as much as the next guy. But it comes with the territory.

If you don't like it, get into making bird houses.

I'll never forget the guy who showed up to a local car show with a very clean stock Pontiac Solstice. Parked with pride, brushing the dust off with those sweepy things that only people at car shows seem to use.

Different strokes for different folks.

BTW, a very clean Pontiac Solstice does a lot to highlight GM's penny pinching. How much black plastic honeycomb does a car need?

I use those sweepy things. For cars and for house dusting. They're awesome.