The Benefits of Datalogging (or, How I Spent My Summer Vacation)
 

It's been brought to my attention that some members at this forum are interested in learning the fine art of datalogging -- so that's why I'm here. Well, that and the fact that I've been banned from the other Miata forums (clearly, they are all ricers who hate real knowledge). Most of the real racer community owes me greatly for help I've provided to them, and I'm sure all of you will feel the same way shortly.

Let's begin.

COMMON MYTHS ABOUT DATALOGGING

Myth 1. Datalogging is only for computer geeks. FALSE!

I'm living proof that this isn't true. I'm an expert datalogger, and yet I can barely last on a forum for a few months before I get banned. Some have suggested that I just have a difficult personality, but trust me, I'm nowhere near this aggressive and insulting in person. Something about the internet forum format just brings it out in me, and I've honestly got zero interest in learning any internet etiquette. But I digress -- you don't need a computer to datalog. In fact, if I see you with a laptop in the vicinity of your car, I'm probably going to call you a ricer and/or poser. Us old-timey real racers use stenographer's pads, and record laptimes on chalkboards.

Myth 2. Datalogging is expensive. FALSE!

See, once you throw the computer out of the picture, it gets real cheap. You can datalog with anything. I datalog the local road conditions by hitting bumps on my Raceland coilovers and then measuring how many aspirin I have to take that night so I can fall asleep. Once I datalogged my own sexuality by flipping channels and recording how long I paused on images of sexy men vs. sexy women (that test remains inconclusive).

Myth 3. Datalogging requires scientific equipment. FALSE!

If you doubt me on this, I have only one answer:

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_ISJa6QOsPQw/Sz...FP%20Miata.JPG

That's right, F Prod. Been there, done that. Nationally. In 1993. Computers and shit hadn't even been invented back then. Finished 38th. Which may not sound impressive, but it's exactly where the datalogs predicted I'd finish, so suck on THAT. Why do I bring this up? Well, my competitors all had faster cars that they had set up with lots of special fancy equipment and extensive track time, and lil' ol' me, heck, I just showed up with some masking tape and a Sharpie marker. Or, as I call it, my datalogging set.

Need to adjust aerodynamics? Loosely attach strips of masking tape all over the car and see which ones are ripped off by airflow.
Want to see how badly your car is scraping over bumps? Color the entire underbody with the Sharpie marker and then look for fresh scrapes.
Want to improve your "quiet hands" driving technique? Have someone use the masking tape to secure your hands in position on the steering wheel before you leave the pits.
Want to measure your chances with the trophy girl? Huff the Sharpie until everything feels alright and then use the masking tape to cover her mouth.

Myth 4. Datalogging turns you into an insufferable blowhard. FALSE!

Listen, you don't have like what I'm telling you. I don't care. All I know is that hundreds of local drivers (men, mostly, as it so happens) are constantly calling me, asking if they can repay me with favors in exchange for my help. Sounds great, doesn't it? You bet your sweet ass it does. So what if a few internet forums don't appreciate me? That's more than offset by the fact that I now have hundreds of friends that are ready and willing at the drop of a hat.

Myth 5. Datalogging inevitably uncovers rear brake bias issues. TRUE!

I wish I could say that this was false, but unfortunately, stock Miatas left the factory without functioning rear brakes. I mean, the brakes are there, but they aren't even hooked up to anything. Don't believe me? I've got the datalogs to prove it. I know there are some very advanced drivers with very fast track Miatas that just slapped some bigass brakes with bigass pads on their cars, but they are leaving seconds on the table by not correcting their brake bias problems. As a poignant demonstration of this, I drove my last F Prod heat backwards in a Miata, to show how a proper rear brake bias could drop laptimes by eons. Unfortunately, I lost control at the first turn doing 35 mph in reverse...I suspect some ricer had tampered with my g-force datalogging device (I hung the Sharpie marker with masking tape from the rear view mirror), making it impossible for me to properly set my fast lap. What a jealous poser.

Myth 6. Raceland coilovers don't hold up well under datalogging. FALSE!

Let's get something straight here -- datalogging is an extremely intense, hardcore process. It often involves driving on roads, turning a lot, a good bit of braking and accelerating, all kinds of things you can't expect a regular suspension to handle for very long. If Racelands have turned out poor results, or not lasted very long, it's only because the datalogging process is designed to reveal the extreme limits of the product in question. Can you pay $2500 for a suspension set that might stand up to this extreme abuse? Sure, but who do you think you are? Emerson Fittipaldi? We're driving $1500 cars, anyone who spends more than $300 on a suspension is a fool. Want a great low-budge setup? Buy a set of $300 Racelands. Replace the stock springs with $250 worth of replacement coils with more appropriate weights. Then send the shock bodies off for revalving to match the new springs -- this should cost no more than $400 or so. The result? A suspension that will perform reasonably well on public roads for at least 6 months, all for under a grand. Heck, you'll have enough left over to take your new friends to the Olive Garden for dinner.

Myth 7. Anyone who doesn't datalog is a ricer. TRUE!

See, I don't even have to prove this -- it's true by definition. A ricer is someone who cares only about appearances. The appearance of setting fast laps, the appearance of not finishing last at Nationals, the appearance of not bouncing all to hell over bumps. What a bunch of posers. Don't want to be a ricer? Then get yourself a datalogging kit and start measuring shit.

F PROD.

/end thread.

also moving to Race Prep section.

Excellent. Thank you for the warm reception. Are you free Friday night?

Do you have any thoughts on brake balance?

THREAD OF THE YEAR!

Oh man, I just realized you might take that the wrong way. I just want to check your rear bias, see how quickly you lock up.

I am going to quote myself, which I am pretty sure is like dividing by zero.

Here is where my quote is from.

Someone found grandpas cough medicine.

I think you huffed too much sharpie. Do you have any real data to share? ANything ground breaking?

Better to let people assume you are a ricer, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

I would, but it's a little muddy back there. Do you want poppers?

I datalogged my poop. It accelerated at 9.8 m/s and took .75 seconds to compete it's skydive into the superbowl. Therefore, it was traveling at a speed of 16 miles per hour. That is good acceleration for a turd.

I was talking to Braineack, not you. I like big branes.

lol

Do you have any data on sjmarcy post topics/rate of posts vs bans?

I feel like you are joking at my expense. Are you a ricer? Have you ever run in F Prod?

When was that picture taken? I didn't know saferacer was open in 93?

Its weird that when I google f production miata, that is the third picture.

I logged my house. It came out very well.



http://www.homensecurity.info/wp-con.../log-cabin.jpg

whatthefuckamireading

I didn't log the date, that's not the data I was recording when the picture was taken. Clearly Google recognizes the excellence of my F Prod performance.

That's not what I meant. You must drive a ricer Honda.

I race an s2000.

http://inlinethumb31.webshots.com/28...600x600Q85.jpg

Of course it says spoon, I bet you use that spoon to eat all that RICE.

s2000 aint got shit on F-Prod. hell the even have windshields...so amateur.

S2000's are for posers. If I took that to Nationals, I bet I could finish like 35th without even trying.

Anyone else with bias issues? I'd love to get under your rear end and check out what's stopping you.

Holy shit :rofl:

I think that's all I can figure out to say. I mean srsly.

Although this is pretty good:

Miata's weren't classified in F Prod until around 2003.

My guess is that he started his race as ssb 1993 and was so far behind the rest of the field he didn't finish his race until 10 years later when his car could also be classified in F Prod.

Wow! Had he shared all this widsom earlier I could have saved a bunch of money and not bought a used Racepak GPS datalogger! All I really needed was string, tape and a sharpie! Damn me and my wasteful poser ricebowl ways.

Next thing he needs to share is how to calculate in weight transfer when adjusting rear brake bias set up with revalved Racelands.

Damn I was hoping for some decent content in this thread. Instead it's just full of fail.

You're no Paul Hogan.

Since you drove in F Production, would that make you somebody who races?

A racist of sorts?

This thread is the most immature thing I have read all day.

And also one of the funniest since I just happened upon the brake bias thread on M.net earlier today.

Lets take bets on who he really is. I got 5 on Hustler.

SJPatMarcy90RMcCartin, would logging be the same process in, for instance, a Volvo as it would in a Miata?

Not enough gay sex references.

That's a very good question. But we already know the answer. It's no. I mean after all, what the hell are you racing a Volvo for anyway?

Yes. But remember, I'm not just driving to set fast laps...I'm recording data so that I can review it later around the big table at Olive Garden with my friends, over a nice glass of sangria.

Trick question. Nobody datalogs in a Volvo. They just pick up their life partner who is a professor at the local liberal arts college, and then swing by the organic farmer's market on the way home.

What logging in a Volvo means to me:













http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...g_cutter02.jpg

As much as I'd like to take credit for this, it's not me.

Ok, then its someone in Andrews crew.

Don't confuse me with your ricer friends.

Ha I was thinking the same thing, but not Hustler, unless he enjoys flogging himself.

Sir, is it true I need string to datalog? If so, your group buy is misleading people. Please correct the issue before i report you to Obama for misleading people.

You know this thread is heading somewhere important when Obama is referenced in it!

Sadly, no. :facepalm:

His identity will never be revealed.

I think it would be safe to say that all the race cars on this forum are too modified to run in F-prod. Im not saying that everyone here runs faster lap times though, but data logging . I mean all of us run a stand alone system on our cars, if you don't know how to data log, you don't belong here.

That is not true. I will reveal his identity.

I AM BATMAN.

I am Iron Man

You look more like Mermaid Man and Barnacle to me, lol.

To bad your in Greece or I would show you the Texas boot in the asssssz trick. We all wear boots and take round house lessons from Chuck.

False dilemma. String is useful but not necessary -- you can use masking tape as string. It's not a bad idea, though...I'll consider adding a third tier to my group buy...

Group Buy: Beginner Datalogging Set and Advanced Datalogging Set (New: Professional Datalogging Set!)