The Stewart Development Paradox - Where the heck are my shocks?
09-29-2011, 06:40 PM
#204
I'm a terrible person
iTrader: (19)
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 7,174
Total Cats: 180
1. Buy 2 cell phones today.
2. Build a clone machine. Make 2 of you.
3. Tomorrow give the 2nd cellphone to your clone.
4. Send him back to yesterday. (today)
5. Have him call and ask when his shocks will ship, when he says 'tomorrow', you will be in his tomorrow.
6. Shocks will ship.
7. Clone must remain in "yesterday" until shocks arrive.
8. Detonate cell phone your clone has in order to kill him and avoid a permanent rip in the space time continuum.
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09-29-2011, 07:14 PM
#205
Ok, little update. Looks like i've re-entered the paradox.
Since today is now Thursday, this officially means they will ship tomorrow.
Originally Posted by John Mueller
Think of me as a facilitator, I can only report the new/updates I get. Late last night he is told me yours would ship this Friday, but you know how that goes. I do know his parts washer died today and he's been dealing with that... Regardless, I'm still hopeful yours can go out.
Can you provide me the UPS tracking number he gave you? I assume he'll still use it.
Can you provide me the UPS tracking number he gave you? I assume he'll still use it.
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09-29-2011, 07:40 PM
#208
No No No, cause they would still ship "tomorrow". I think we would need multiple machines to do this.
1. Buy 2 cell phones today.
2. Build a clone machine. Make 2 of you.
3. Tomorrow give the 2nd cellphone to your clone.
4. Send him back to yesterday. (today)
5. Have him call and ask when his shocks will ship, when he says 'tomorrow', you will be in his tomorrow.
6. Shocks will ship.
7. Clone must remain in "yesterday" until shocks arrive.
8. Detonate cell phone your clone has in order to kill him and avoid a permanent rip in the space time continuum.
1. Buy 2 cell phones today.
2. Build a clone machine. Make 2 of you.
3. Tomorrow give the 2nd cellphone to your clone.
4. Send him back to yesterday. (today)
5. Have him call and ask when his shocks will ship, when he says 'tomorrow', you will be in his tomorrow.
6. Shocks will ship.
7. Clone must remain in "yesterday" until shocks arrive.
8. Detonate cell phone your clone has in order to kill him and avoid a permanent rip in the space time continuum.
Anyway I did buy a set of shocks from Bernie like 2 months back. Communication was alright, delivery was delayed 2 or 3 weeks, and I didn't get my shock dyno graphs as promised. Emailed him about the graphs and never heard back.
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09-30-2011, 04:11 PM
#214
I'm sorry but you guys are just a bunch of idiots who don't know how to order custom shocks or don't understand what a good suspension really is. After talking with Bernie about the stock suspension on my MSM the Bilsteins were sent in for a custom valving. Unlike Mazda, Bernie had zero problems valving the superior MSM Bilstein shocks to match the stock MSM springs.
I originally went with Bernie because it was very important to keep the silver Bilsteins and Red springs that came stock on my car. I know what you're thinking, this guy is an idiot that thinks shock color is important. Yeah yeah I know, it sounds stupid but hey you don't drive around in a rainbow Miata either (well maybe you do), but I'm not ghey like you are.
So anyway, back to the revalve. I sent Bernie my silver Bilsteins along with an agreed upon $650 for the revalve to match the stock red springs. After exactly 8 days, 7 hours, 47 minutes and 8 seconds I got a call from Bernie, he was concerned. My shocks were revalved and ready to ship out but he had just sent me a very detailed email. Inside were step-by-step picture of the revalve (I knew they were mine because they were silver) and before/after dyno plots. With the unique spring rate of the stock MSM suspension Bernie wanted to make sure everything was right so he asked me to ship the red springs to him. I happily obliged and paid FedEx for overnight-AM delivery (very $$$ but well worth it).
3 days, 12 hours, 13 minutes and 57,000 milliseconds (I keep really good records) later Bernie called again. He made some adjustments at no cost to me and had some new dyno plots, with and without the red springs attached. Everything was perfect. Along with the dyno plots he of course sent the FedEx overnight-AM delivery tracking number along with the best bonus of all, a picture of his FedEx driver picking up my perfect suspension. It was packaged in lexan so I knew by the silver and red that they were really mine.
My Saturday went on like normal, had great sex with 80 womenz and finally crashed at 7am completely drunk and worn out. I awoke at 8:23am Sunday to FedEx at my front door. It was the same guy from Bernie's picture! How awesome is that. So I installed them that morning, I'm really good at it and managed it in only 45 minutes including a break for breakfast.
I immediately took it to my local race track (some people call these public roads) and set down new lap records instantly. At one point I had a fan club following behind blaring sirens and flashing lights so everyone could see just how awesome my new suspension was. A helicopter showed up at one point and put me in the spotlight! Eventually I ditched all those losers and went back home to find another package from Bernie.
He felt so bad about making me ship my red (we all know red=fast) springs to him at my cost that there was a check for $8,000 USD as a reimbursement. Shipping obviously doesn't cost that much so he requested I send him a personal check for $7,873, something about an annoying accountant didn't want to just send me the shipping costs. Well his check bounced!!! Can you believe it!? My bank said I was screwed, but you know what? Bernie is screwed, not me! I paid $8777 for the absolute best suspension setup in the world. Well worth it. Bernie you are an idiot, I would have paid 3x that!
I'm sorry all you losers don't understand what a real setup is like and that you feel screwed. Bernie will come through, he sure did for me!
I originally went with Bernie because it was very important to keep the silver Bilsteins and Red springs that came stock on my car. I know what you're thinking, this guy is an idiot that thinks shock color is important. Yeah yeah I know, it sounds stupid but hey you don't drive around in a rainbow Miata either (well maybe you do), but I'm not ghey like you are.
So anyway, back to the revalve. I sent Bernie my silver Bilsteins along with an agreed upon $650 for the revalve to match the stock red springs. After exactly 8 days, 7 hours, 47 minutes and 8 seconds I got a call from Bernie, he was concerned. My shocks were revalved and ready to ship out but he had just sent me a very detailed email. Inside were step-by-step picture of the revalve (I knew they were mine because they were silver) and before/after dyno plots. With the unique spring rate of the stock MSM suspension Bernie wanted to make sure everything was right so he asked me to ship the red springs to him. I happily obliged and paid FedEx for overnight-AM delivery (very $$$ but well worth it).
3 days, 12 hours, 13 minutes and 57,000 milliseconds (I keep really good records) later Bernie called again. He made some adjustments at no cost to me and had some new dyno plots, with and without the red springs attached. Everything was perfect. Along with the dyno plots he of course sent the FedEx overnight-AM delivery tracking number along with the best bonus of all, a picture of his FedEx driver picking up my perfect suspension. It was packaged in lexan so I knew by the silver and red that they were really mine.
My Saturday went on like normal, had great sex with 80 womenz and finally crashed at 7am completely drunk and worn out. I awoke at 8:23am Sunday to FedEx at my front door. It was the same guy from Bernie's picture! How awesome is that. So I installed them that morning, I'm really good at it and managed it in only 45 minutes including a break for breakfast.
I immediately took it to my local race track (some people call these public roads) and set down new lap records instantly. At one point I had a fan club following behind blaring sirens and flashing lights so everyone could see just how awesome my new suspension was. A helicopter showed up at one point and put me in the spotlight! Eventually I ditched all those losers and went back home to find another package from Bernie.
He felt so bad about making me ship my red (we all know red=fast) springs to him at my cost that there was a check for $8,000 USD as a reimbursement. Shipping obviously doesn't cost that much so he requested I send him a personal check for $7,873, something about an annoying accountant didn't want to just send me the shipping costs. Well his check bounced!!! Can you believe it!? My bank said I was screwed, but you know what? Bernie is screwed, not me! I paid $8777 for the absolute best suspension setup in the world. Well worth it. Bernie you are an idiot, I would have paid 3x that!
I'm sorry all you losers don't understand what a real setup is like and that you feel screwed. Bernie will come through, he sure did for me!
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09-30-2011, 06:03 PM
#218
Midpack how is not getting your shocks because the guy is full of **** make us "idiots"?
Go troll else where buddy, perhaps go suck some **** between races so the weekend racer can do better. Either you're serious or you're really bad at sarcasm.
If you ARE serious, you might want to actually read at least one of the last 11 pages.
Go troll else where buddy, perhaps go suck some **** between races so the weekend racer can do better. Either you're serious or you're really bad at sarcasm.
If you ARE serious, you might want to actually read at least one of the last 11 pages.
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09-30-2011, 07:39 PM
#220
2 Props,3 Dildos,& 1 Cat
iTrader: (8)
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Fake Virginia
Posts: 19,338
Total Cats: 573
Midpack how is not getting your shocks because the guy is full of **** make us "idiots"?
Go troll else where buddy, perhaps go suck some **** between races so the weekend racer can do better. Either you're serious or you're really bad at sarcasm.
If you ARE serious, you might want to actually read at least one of the last 11 pages.
Go troll else where buddy, perhaps go suck some **** between races so the weekend racer can do better. Either you're serious or you're really bad at sarcasm.
If you ARE serious, you might want to actually read at least one of the last 11 pages.
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0
0
