my predicament
#1
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my predicament
well i'm 27 and still live at home(laugh if you want but my family needs me around a lot). I'm getting married in june and totally planned on purchasing a home. Now my father who works for amtrak has been moved to california to fix some of the problems they have out there. Originally the plan was to see if he liked it out there and if the like the job. Well he does. He says the only way he can take this job is if i stay here and take care of his house because my younger brother and sister are complete fucktards. When i was born both of my parents worked 2 jobs and really did well for themselves over the years. My father worked night shift all my life, and he's finally got his chance to move to a warmer climate and take on a new job opportunity. My mother who really hasn't worked a real job in years will move out to california as well. My parents house is paid for, money is not the issue, but if i leave, it pretty much means my brother and sister will be forced to leave and my parents will lock down the house. I'm very much ready for my own place and peace and quiet. My fiance would be moving in here with me and she totally hates the ******* idea of living in my parents house, i'm not really sure what to do.
#6
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i am ready to leave the house, i did go to college, it was very hard to move back in. my gf wants to start our life together, as do i. however i kind of feel guilty passing up a free place to live with the housing market in shambles and ousting my siblings, possibly persuading my father to turn down the job offer and move back home
#9
It's cool that you're there for your family, but if you feel tied down at all, you gotta let them know. They should understand that you are ready for your own life and they shouldn't make you feel like you're costing them opportunities. My gf's parents have pulled guilt trip stuff and really it just makes everyone miserable.
#13
dude i still live at home no shame in that. A free house to occupy and all you have to do is be cool and watch out for your fucktard siblings is a no brianer. It is not like it will take 15-20 years for them to grow up enough to where you won't have to watch out for them, and in the mean time you and the GF can buy or build your dream home think of this as a way to make the life you always wanted, and help out your folks at the same time.
#14
My fiance would be moving in here with me and she totally hates the ******* idea of living in my parents house, i'm not really sure what to do.
Get your own place. Your siblings and their issues are for your parents to deal with. Get married and start your life.
What are the ages of you, your finance and the fucktards?
#16
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Obviously not knowing the entire situation so I can't say 100%, but I would tend to agree with this. But I also agree family is very important. If money is not object (you can afford your own house) then why not just leave and let them lock the house up? How old are your brother and sister? Old enough that they should be able to live and support themselves? Otherwise they shoudl be going to cali with their parents.
#19
There's a positive and a negative to each side of this:
For one, yes I agree about starting your life together. This doesn't mean it has to be in a NEW house. Who cares if your parents lived there? That shouldn't matter, what should matter is that you are together. Its not your parents house anymore.. its YOUR house and its FREE rent. There's no price on that, especially since it allows you more disposable income for trips or saving for the "dream house". Our rent for a 1 BR is roughly 1700 a month, think of what that x12 could buy or how much interest that could accrue. Now I certainly come from PA too and I know that its not that extreme there, but you get the idea.
Now the other side, living with the fucktards CAN put a strain on your relationship if they live with you and her. You need to factor in how long they will be living with you and think of it as living with your buddies and her, there will be intrusions which will lead to fights, etc.
Most importantly do not think of this in terms of "owing" your parents. They seem like they will be happy no matter what. If you do choose to not move into that house, at least it will force the "Fucktards" to grow up and accept some responsibility.
For one, yes I agree about starting your life together. This doesn't mean it has to be in a NEW house. Who cares if your parents lived there? That shouldn't matter, what should matter is that you are together. Its not your parents house anymore.. its YOUR house and its FREE rent. There's no price on that, especially since it allows you more disposable income for trips or saving for the "dream house". Our rent for a 1 BR is roughly 1700 a month, think of what that x12 could buy or how much interest that could accrue. Now I certainly come from PA too and I know that its not that extreme there, but you get the idea.
Now the other side, living with the fucktards CAN put a strain on your relationship if they live with you and her. You need to factor in how long they will be living with you and think of it as living with your buddies and her, there will be intrusions which will lead to fights, etc.
Most importantly do not think of this in terms of "owing" your parents. They seem like they will be happy no matter what. If you do choose to not move into that house, at least it will force the "Fucktards" to grow up and accept some responsibility.
#20
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How old are the two fucktards, and what exactly is their affliction? Seriously, are we talking wild parties with cocaine everywhere and flaming sofas getting thrown into the pool, or just a couple of lazy ***** who don't want to get a job and stay out all night? Are they still in school, or otherwise obligated?
What is your relationship with the fucktards like? It sounds like you may be the favored son- is there animosity and resentment about that?
From a purely pragmatic standpoint, it sounds like you parents are giving you the house. Forgetting about the free rent for a moment, my guess would be that if you occupy and maintain it, you'll be the one getting it in the will.
And I honestly think that you have an obligation here. Your parents, who raised you, put a roof over your head, etc., are asking you to take care of the house and your younger (yet presumably adult) siblings. If your fiance is unable to deal with that, I'd take it as a warning sign.
Worst-case scenario is that you could probably make life sufficiently unbearable for the fucktards that they would be motivated to find a place of their own. I suggest that you consider investing in a set of JBL 4412 speakers, a decently-sized amplifier, and the complete Yoko Ono anthology.
What is your relationship with the fucktards like? It sounds like you may be the favored son- is there animosity and resentment about that?
From a purely pragmatic standpoint, it sounds like you parents are giving you the house. Forgetting about the free rent for a moment, my guess would be that if you occupy and maintain it, you'll be the one getting it in the will.
And I honestly think that you have an obligation here. Your parents, who raised you, put a roof over your head, etc., are asking you to take care of the house and your younger (yet presumably adult) siblings. If your fiance is unable to deal with that, I'd take it as a warning sign.
Worst-case scenario is that you could probably make life sufficiently unbearable for the fucktards that they would be motivated to find a place of their own. I suggest that you consider investing in a set of JBL 4412 speakers, a decently-sized amplifier, and the complete Yoko Ono anthology.