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Old 04-30-2009, 12:03 AM   #1
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Default Hustler, are you selling a bike?

Great Honda Manly Man Mountain Bike for sale!!!

What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick *** spokes. I was told it's a mountain bike and I ride it so it's a Stud Mountain Bike. 24" Rims Son! The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're waaaaay wrong. I practiced ninja training at Japan's Mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not havingg a rear reflector is like saying "F*#K YOU CAR! JUST TRY AND FIND ME".

The bike says Honda on the side but it should say GIANT because then it would be referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement would remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was some sissy **** so I said "No way" and I rolled out with his bike after jacking him for his Social Security Check!

The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad *** you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably ride your bike underwater and that's bad *** in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the ***** since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating. Plus, you probably care what other people think about you like most of the posers that go to the Strip on the weekends wearing tight pants, shiny shirts and wear sunglasses indoors.

The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some **** and not shaped like a *****. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your *** or anything.

I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike/tank.
The bike has 7 speeds in total:
Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Gangsta *** Muscles Gear

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.

Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's ********* and tells people you don't **** around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey *******, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four like a baby seal sunbathing on an Alaskan beach".

WR Metro cops have chased me on this bike 26 times for breaking the speed limit but I have always managed to elude them based on my extreme physicality and my superior knowledge of our valley's ever changing roadways. I can't guarantee this bike will do that for you but if your as proficient in ninja, gangsta-dom as me, then you may have a strong chance at replicating my impetuous feats.

Bike is for $150.00 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)
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Old 04-30-2009, 12:16 AM   #2
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hahahahahahaha sounds like maddox from
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Old 04-30-2009, 12:16 AM   #3
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Looks like he copied the pink Vespa scooter ad with some tweaks. Wait--that's just like Hustler!
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