You Want Me To Drive What?
 

Drive What? That Chick CAR!

The saga began with my wife uttering those ever exciting words…“Honey I have an idea …with gas prices what they are, maybe you should drive the Miata, and I’ll drive your SUV. Since you drive 70 miles round trip”… it was about here that I didn’t hear what else she had to say. I think it was because there was a big whoosing sound in my head, like someone let the air out of my ego. I mean c’mon. Me and my SUV leap buildings in a single bound, we rescue hundreds of women and children from burning buildings. What the Hell are me and this, this, little two seater roadster gonna do? Huh? Help a little ol’ lady cross the street? Geez.

I tried to think quick, and speak even quicker. How’d that go you ask? Let me tell ya. “But honey…isn’t that a er… a, Chick Car? I mean, uh, it’s cute and all, I mean for a chick, but…and you look great behind the wheel…but…” The look I received in return said, “If it’s a chick car, then you had better be gettin’ in touch with your feminine side…cause at four bucks a gallon, either you do…OR WE DON’T!”

Now understand, I was a cop for 30 years. I have been in 130 MPH plus pursuits behind the wheel of 429 Fords, and my favorite, an unmarked hemi 440. I grew up owning Mustangs (4) one 71 Mach One, Duster 340’s (3) one a 340 Wedge, a 1969 GTO, a 71 Formula Firebird, and a 72 Trans Am. At one strange point and unexplainable reason in my life, I owned a MG Midget. God I may have even wore an ascot. So it was like someone taking my .45 Colt and handing me a single shot .22 and saying, “Now go in there and arrest that guy!” You just feel less manly.

Resigned to my fate, and in the interest of our checking account…I opened the door to the little black 99 Miata and inserted my 6’1” frame to see if I would even fit in the damned thing. Huh! Sort of comfy, like the cockpit of a fighter. It had a feel to it. Reminded me of the MG Midget. Sort of the feel you get when you’re in the presence of something…something…engineered properly. Something engineered to be driven. Not something TO drive…something YOU Drive! The speedometer ends at 145 MPH! NO WAY! 7000 RPM redline…you kiddin’ me?

Let’s go for a spin. I-95 is two miles away. I hit the on ramp in first gear, maxed out the tach through all three gears, pushed the little overdrive button on the stick (neat) and before I knew it….DAMN! Now all I can say about that little test drive is I made two mental notes to myself:

#1. Just because a Ford Truck has Lightning decals on it…does not mean it’s as fast as Lightning or a Miata.

#2. The right latch that holds the convertible top down becomes unlatched at 131-133 MPH and stops you from realizing the full potential of a “Chick Car!”

On the return trip I hit the off ramp to my house and didn’t touch the brakes when I turned left. It seemed the faster I went into the turn; the more the car hugged the asphalt. Hell I would have rolled anything else over except the Batmobile. When I stopped at the light I realized my hands were shaking, and thought for a moment that my blood sugar had dumped (I’m diabetic). No, not that, it was a pure adrenaline dump! I was driving a car. A car built to be driven, not to just ride in. I was sixteen years old. Back at the house, sitting in the garage staring at the little roadster…I summarized …”Okay, not bad. But it needs something…it’s so plain.”

Now I’m kinda Old School. And the car’s paid for. If I screw it up…oh what the hell!

To the junkyard. One gull wing style spoiler from an 80’s model Sunbird, Old School Corvette style.

A trip to the paint store, two quarts of paint. Two 12” Shelby stripes in Brilliant Silver, from nose to tail. Old School Shelby style.

A 1965 Shelby Mustang hood scoop, remove 6 ½ inches from it, bolt it on and make it functional. Again…Old School Shelby style.

And that big gaping mouth in the front is screaming for something. A trip to Lowe’s, 30 bucks worth of aluminum stock and three hours later, a front grille reminiscent of the first Corvettes or Ferrari’s. Now that says “Attitude!” Now buff, buff, and buff some more.

When I fill it…I mean, When I fill her up, or stop at an auto parts store, I now get asked…”What is that? Is that a Lotus? Is that a Ferrari?” I just laugh…shake my head, and say…”That’s my chick car.” Zoom, Zoom, Zoom.

This weekend I have to make a grille for a local guy who races his Miata at nearby Roberling Road Track. I have also been asked to paint stripes on two cars. Now where do I get one of those TURBO THINGIES? I bet it cost more than Four Bucks a Gallon!


RJ

Savannah GA

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Nice scoop, wanna race?

Nice grill, wanna race?

My favorite part. Dunno if anyone caught that. :giggle:

lol I kinda like the spoiler, not the scoop though... Miatas are a blast to drive!

Christ... you girls are getting soft.... so sad.

...um

How about your first post looks like this:
Hi, RJ here, former cop with lotsa V8 experience. Bought an auto '99 due to fuel prices. Love the handling already. I'm working on the exterior a little... stripes/spoiler/scoop(see pics) and am looking into a turbo. I'll be hanging around and soaking up the info. Anybody near Savannah, I'd love to see your car.
-RJ

^Very to-the-point and included all important details... but more importantly, doesn't make you look like a recent graduate of the Richard Simmons driving school.

except for the black caps on the wheels, I think it's pretty sick looking.

:slap:

you've got a muscle car background, now you're driving an incredibly slow and underpowered chick car with a non-functional hood scoop and even more non-functional wing on the back.

what the fuck happened to you?

you thought it looked gay before...you made it 10x worse

must be one hell of a straight.

So its an autotragic huh? Im sorry.
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No way is right, the speedo ends there, you'll never see it with a stock powered auto miata.

but id love to see a video of the hood scoop tearing off when you hit 80mph :)

I wonder what happens at 88mph?

are you implying it's doubtful he hit 130mph at only 110rwhp?

oh wait, he's a cop....everything gets multiplied by 15.

I normally don't comment on other people's aesthetics, but I have to agree with this.

The grill looks different-in-a-good way, I'll give you that. If you really did paint on the stripes then that's pretty cool.

It's nice to see this thread reopened. :)

this story smells of :bsflag:





if it's legit.......it's really sad

:giggle:

+1, Its more fun this way.
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Damn is always the first thing I say whenever I get into an sporty car with an automatic. If this is an automatic you are sure as shit driving a chick car. Tell your wife you want a proper man's car; one with a clutch.

Hmmmmm....opened now I see.
Don't know about the 130 mph in an automatic with stock running gear.
7% grade downhill with a tail wind - maybe.
Scoop - if it is a Monster Miata - keep it....if not, then ditch it.
It is written that anything that is purely for "looks" and not functional, is therefore "Rice".
Grill is not my cup of brew....but fab work is great none the less.
That really should be replaced with an interfooler to go with the scooper.
These are all opinions and should be taken with an aspirin, and remember; it is your car. Do with it what you want and enjoy. ;)

Welcome to the club little piggy.

Hmmm I like it....the scoop even kinda sort of fits the car.

Nice first post though.

Nice first post :bang:

/\ All of that justifies the original BAN.

I agree. Dude's driving an automatic and thinks he's not in a chick car. Banning's an act of mercy, in this case.

If he did turbo his auto it would at least keep the turbo spooled through the gear changes.

Auto miata = no 130mph:giggle:

But then it would go way faster than 131-133 when his latch pops open.:eek5:

i'm not reading all that bullshit.jpg

It's part of the miatas active aerodynamics system just like the mclaren f1, and the 3000gt.

That's what I'm sayin' holmes!

You guys are a rough crowd.
- Guy thinks miata is a chcik car, but drives it and discovers he like...this is a good thing
- Spruces it up a bit...still a good thing that he thinks enough of it to do some work on it
- It's apparently it's his wifes car, so he is limited what he can do too it (not a bad thing really)
- Everyone doesn't want a purely function track car...asthetic matter to some (still not a bad thing)
-Lighten up people. Differnt stroke for different folks...(the spolier is a no go for me, I could probably do without the scoop too)

So, is it possible to ban someone after one post, un-ban them, and then ban them a second time before they ever post again?

Gets the post-to-ban ratio down to a record-breaking 0.5 :giggle:

I think the whole post was BS.

I only know of one guy who drives an automatic Miata and is still a manly man kind of guy. 6'2" 240lbs 60+ years old. Right arm shriveled and not terribly functional from birth. Barring birth defect, other handicap or lack of a Y chromosome, automatic Miata's are inexcusible.

That being said, the mods aren't all that bad looking. There is a lot worse that could have been done. It doesn't scream RICE.

Automatic and sports car to me don't go together at all...but, if it was my wife or girlfriends car I wouldn't "not" drive it because it's an auto.

I wonder how tough it is to convert one, connsidering I have a spare trans and there's a local auto that is only $400 because the trans is gone.

It's not that bad. There's a writeup in the m.net garage. You have to source a clutch pedal, master cylinder, slave cylinder, line, flywheel, clutch, so a few bucks to be spent, plus a few extra hours that you could be using on your car.:fawk:

Other than that, it's just a tranny swap. Or, buy it, buy my auto trans cheap, slap it in and flip it.

Shouldn't be very difficult.

what about them automatic transmissions that shift faster than most humans? I'd rock that. if only so I could drag race while sipping my coffee.

I figured it couldn't be anything other than those parts. I'm dating a chick right now who's car just went out of warranty and its falling apart...and she's been driving my ugly car while I've been out of town.


Oh, and by "chick" I mean the "dude."

op would look right at home: http://www.miata.net/

on another note my valve cover gasket is leaking like a motherfucker.

Yeah and when they start putting them in miatas, then I'll start buying them that way ;)

PS, those new AMG Benz autos are freakin amazing.

My God that post sounded like it was posted by a recovering alcoholic at an AA meeting...

Suprised nobody else caught it, but op is a cop.......They only know how to drive autos;)

hahaha, i am glad i kept reading this thread. This post was worth it.

If I'm paying for it, I will chose the manual shift everytime no matter how fast the autos shift. That is, if I'm buying it as a sports car. If I'm looking for an all around car I might select one.

tl;dr

Welcome aboard (he's been un-banned, right?)

Well, at least till his next post.

The OP is still logging in... he's gotta be reading this... perhaps formulating his reply in a Word document right now.

Atleast he cares enough to check some of his spelling. Id say that significantly lowers the chance of having to deal with rhymz or any variation. And he's married so maybe we can get wife pics?

Okay, that was fun...like being gang raped in prison. But I can take it. Lesson learned, no more Jack and posting. So if you guys are through bustin' my balls I'll take them back now...Thank You. I know the ass tearin' is gonna be worth it, cause with a little cash and what you guys know, you're gonna help me up the performance of my car.

Haha yeah, ---- raping is a must. This is a miata forum, remember. Welcome aboard and congrats on driving a real car.

start with new soft top latches :jerkit: :bang:

It is way better with more power. If you think you should do it, and you have the means, DO IT!

Auto trans power capabilities TBD....

yeah, this can be a rowdy bunch if you push the wrong buttons.

FYI-Miataturbo.net is for the performance minded miata owner. if the modification isn't going to make it accelerate faster, stop quicker, tun better, or improve over what mazda had originally engineered than this crowd doesn't want to hear about it.

for instance, your rear spoiler, you better have some data that supports that it will improve the stability/aerodynamics/downforce for this community to get excited. and the hood scoop better be functional with the appropriate air ducting and have dyno proven performance gains.

so don't be too eager to ask lots of questions right away. instead, use the "search" button a lot and find Braineaks FAQs to learn more about what we do here. once you get a good basic understanding and are ready to ask some challenging questions, these guys will treat you like a brother and help you in any way that they can.

oh, and welcome to mt.net!

Latches...2nd....new speedo first

http://smiliesftw.com/x/ban.gif

Hell, since I've got a screwball auto miata... with a BEGi turbo on it, I'll chime in a bit.

So far with the config in my sig and some 305cc injectors the car's pretty damn fast and fun to drive. I've got my reasons for having a slushbox; trust me on that one but hell I'd take an auto miata over no miata any day.

Lemme know if you are going to turbo that thing and I'll be happy tp help since autos are truly the minority here, but we are here! buhahahaha!

Cheers,
Prospero