Faeflora

iTrader: (2)

The obvious like-- joining the military?

There's an infinite number of ways to challenge yourself other than joining the military.

Faeflora

iTrader: (2)

Actually **** it, you're rich, so just take up a drug habit. And stop shopping at wal mart you poser. You're more annoying than ghetto people shopping at nordstroms.

Faeflora

iTrader: (2)

And ******* kill yourself. There's too many stupid people on the planet already who don't even know what the **** they are doing here and why.

y8s

iTrader: (8)

I think this thread ended at post 5.

Therapists are cheap and you don't have to be crazy to go to one. They often work on a sliding scale (if you dont have money, they charge very little).

You could also stir life up. You know how to live cheaply... drop everything and move to a foreign country for 6 months for ***** and giggles.

pusha

iTrader: (5)

While therapy is "cheap," there's always the possibility for it to become a crutch or for the patient to become another overly medicated *******.

Traveling isn't always the best answer. I've done a lot of traveling, studied abroad, etc. In a seminar I recently spoke at, I urged study abroad prospects to search within themselves for the real reason they're pursuing such a drastic, albeit temporary, change.

I STRONGLY discourage students looking to become social butterflies, make their first-ever friend, etc. to participate in such a program because it won't change you.

Lifestyle changes can be made at home, unless your home is a meth lab (if it is though, invite me over). Finding what interests you can be difficult though. I'm 22 and still don't know what I'm going to do with the shitty degree I'm slated to be awarded this spring.

Are you a senior? Do you have any college plans?

JayL

iTrader: (12)

The obvious would be going down the same path he's been following and right now it's leading him to nowhere. He's open to hearing other ideas and that's what people are giving him. It's something that he needs to decide.

It's very clear that the military wasn't for you, it's not for everyone and I'm sure you have your reasons or maybe we didn't want you. In order for you to make that decision you had to give it consideration. We are just throwing ideas in his direction and he needs to decide what's best for him.

fooger03

iTrader: (2)

You've obviously never taken the issue of depression and suicide seriously. If OPs next post is a suicide note, the rest of us are going to hold you responsible. Depression and Suicide are very real threats. That is probably why so many people that are trying to help the OP are pro-military-option; a lot of us actually are military. Every person in the military understands the very real threat of suicide, and (at least as far as the Army is concerned) has been trained to recognize the signs and symptoms of depression which can lead to suicidal thoughts and tendancies, as well as what actions to take to avoid suicidal ideation and action. We aren't telling the OP that he absolutely has to join the military, we are telling him not to discount it as a viable option. We are also trying to provide for the creation of goals (whether military or not) which can lead to a more fulfilling life. If you have nothing positive to add to this thread, please consider leaving it alone. Even if your posts were written jokingly or sarcastically, they are out of line with regard to the conversation.

saint_foo

OP, like many of the serious responses said, you're still young and it's a normal thing to feel as a teenager.

First, I'd suggest telling your folks that you'd like to start seeing a therapist. Someone qualified to listen to you, to ask the right questions. If it doesn't seem right after a few sessions, switch therapists. Keep an open mind.

I was a slacker from Jr High throughout college. I did feel challenged in many courses, but had no drive. It wasn't until I was in my late 30s (maybe 38?) that I saw a therapist for maybe 6-10 sessions that I worked on my procrastination and made great improvements in my life. Sheesh, if I only did this at 17!

So, basically hang in there, open lines of communication w/ your folks, be honest, see a therapist, get better.

Oh, and get a haircut, take out those piercings, don't get a tattoo b/c you'll regret it, stop drinking sodas and junk food, sit up straight, go to college, study, get some goals, enjoy life.

Nothing worse than living paycheck-to-paycheck. Don't get stuck in a rut w/ friends that have no goals or aspirations. I'm not saying you gotta be an astronaut, but just work hard and try to learn something in college. The sciences (esp computer-related) and business are a good combo. If you were to go finance and IT, you'll have a better shot of a good job out of college. This means you can afford nice toys (that you bought), nice trips, and hot wimmen (or boy toys like Hustler).

y8s

iTrader: (8)

A good therapist doesn't rope you in forever. And no "therapist" can prescribe drugs. You're thinking of psychiatrist or more likely psychopharmacologist.

I'm suggesting only the talking kind. The kind that are a neutral sounding board for your issues or thoughts.

Doppelgänger

iTrader: (12)

Do one good track day. You'll find out that you need a fuckton more **** in your car but don't have the money. This will motivate you to start looking for a way to make tons of money to spend to fulfill you need for speed. No ****.

I was the same way in school. No care for the future, overwhelmed by my teaches constantly pounding "college college college" into our heads and not having any ******* cluse to what I want to do. I thought I'd want to work on cars since it was easy for me, but when I got out into the real world and worked at a couple of dealership, I realized it was shitty work with too much politics. I still don't mind working on car from a performance standpoint, but it's NOT what I am going to do with my life. I've worked jobs from fast food to warehousing (good money can be found here) to computer work and even composites (working on race cars is fun!). Sometime in my junior year, I just gave up and got my GED. Here it is 10 years later and I am just now finding things to go to school that would interest me.

When I get bored or just get tired of having nothing to do, I'll go out for a drive and it's not unusual for me to put 300 miles on my odometer in a night of aimless driving.

GTRicky

faeflora, you are one cheery bastard, ain't ya? lol

It seems like fae went through some of his own ****, dealt with it and now thinks that since he can do it his way, everyone can. Not knocking ya, but not everyone can live the east coast 'suck mommy and daddy's ****' life style. Some people want more.

Rider, bro, I've been there, and I've done all sorts of many different things to cure the boredom that I had. FYI, though, everyone gets that way. You find something that makes you happy, or you find a way to it. If that something is to make your own way, look at ways to do that. I joined the military and now it's almost 6 years later and it's done many things. Some good, some bad, but I joined for my own reason; making my own way.

I'm not going to say that the military is the only way to go, and that's because it's not. There is benefits as well as disadvantages, just like everything else in this world. The pay is shitty for a while, but you end up with really good friends going through the same **** you are. You go to places that smell like cat ****, but it puts your life in perspective. You can get shot at, but chicks dig scars.

If you want to go to college, then go. You can get some great excitement out of that, too. Use your parents dime if you have to. Hell, go to a school on the west coast and see how the chilled out people over there live.


The only real advice I can give you (everything else you can throw away) is;

DON'T ******* FALL IN LOVE

Just don't

sixshooter

iTrader: (12)

School was easy. And it was boring. I never did much homework but did well enough on the tests to get a "C." I wasn't motivated all through college either. I majored in cars and girls. I wasn't a bad kid but I didn't have a work ethic. I wasn't motivated in school because I didn't have any idea what I wanted to do with my life. It is hard to push yourself when there is no concrete goal, just some nebulous concept, like chasing vapor.

I avoided discomfort. Homework was discomfort. Work, in general terms, was discomfort. I worked hard on my car, but that was different. The car brought me a sense of accomplishment. I would search for information for my car hobby, but not for boring school work. I had wants, but my needs were met and I only worked a job for my car hobby and screwing around money.

I graduated college still not knowing what I wanted to do. That was typical for about half of the people I went to school with. Many either didn't know what they wanted to do or really didn't understand what their real job in their field would be like. In many fields people entered into it was just important to have a degree. It didn't matter what the major was. People with Bachelor of Arts degrees often have that problem. People who obtain a degree in a physical science (chem, physics, engineering, etc.) usually get paid better because they know a little more about things that are useful to employers.

I wasn't disciplined enough to be ready for college. I wasn't adult enough and didn't have the necessary experience to cause me to place value on being there. I played around, did the fraternity thing, and just got by. I think a short enlistment in the military would have brought me a sense of self-worth, some self-discipline, and an understanding of why I needed to push myself with regard to education. I didn't develop a work ethic until after college. After a brief couple of months in training I had the keys to a business thrown to me and was told "this place is yours and these 28 people work for you." I had adults who were my parents' age who were depending on me to be a good manager so that they could pay their rent/mortgage and feed their families. Sink or swim, it was all on my shoulders. At that point, I grew up. I had to. Everyone who has "grown up" has had a moment like that. Some of them had it at eight years old when a parent died. Some don't have it until they are 35 and their parents finally kicked them out on their own. Some never find it. I think you find it when the chips are down and your only resource is yourself.

Is the military a good idea? It is for some and it isn't for others. It would have been good for me. Thinking about it, the military was good for my father. He did a year of college then dropped out and joined the Army. After the Army he went back to school and excelled. Frankly, I think most young men don't really need the military, but they could really benefit from going through Basic Training and learning their true capabilities and finding their deeper strength.

Self-worth comes from accomplishing something that requires effort. That is why doing something to improve our cars makes us proud. We feel good about accomplishing something with real, tangible value. Team or individual sports fill that need for many people. Joining a "high adventure" group (like a SCUBA club, or outdoor adventure group) can physically and mentally challenge you in new ways that you might not have considered possible.

Easy times don't teach us anything. We will just keep doing what we have been doing. Tough times change us, mold us, and make us better. Tough times also cause an appreciation for ordinary times that we would not otherwise have. Having a brain tumor removed caused me to appreciate uneventful, boring days in a way I could not have previously understood. Perspective changes with experience. And it is called wisdom.

Don't be worried that it feels like you are swimming in grape jelly. Punch, kick, fight, swim with all your might and it seems that you have no real impact on your surroundings. That is normal. It feels like it sucks, but it is normal. It really doesn't suck. You are just mildly insulated, protected. Real suck is out there. Don't worry about trying to get there too quickly. It will find you in due time. You will long to return to your ineffectual insulation soon enough. You will tell yourself "If I only knew then what I know now." But right now you are at a point when many young men are frustrated by their insulation and they act out, or hurt themselves just to feel something. That is a mental trap. Please don't fall in it.

Perspective and understanding will come with time. It is obvious that you are a good guy. And as uncomforting and completely useless as it is to you, know that what you are feeling is quite normal and healthy. If you don't do anything foolish to get in trouble or hurt yourself before you are old enough to be on to the next set of problems, you will be just fine. I would recommend getting into clubs, sports, and activities because those things exercise your mind, body, and make you a more well-rounded adult. They will increase the knowledge and experience base that you will draw on throughout your life. I'm sure there are clubs and activities going on in and around your school that you aren't even familiar with. I do look back on those things from my school days with pride.

There is something special you are supposed to do in your life. You should probably start getting ready for it.

chpmnsws6

iTrader: (12)

Doppelgänger

iTrader: (12)

His English is far better than your reading comprehension skills....as noted above.

oldschool

[QUOTE=faeflora;652005]This is some stupid advice. Why should you risk your life for someone else's agenda to fulfill their life's ambition when you don't even know what your own ambition is?

Here is a view from africa..and my
1)I am completely fucked sideways about why you as Americans cant be proud of youre country and stand up and fight for it,where has all the goodmen gone?I've been in the states twice now and also a couple of other places,but whether you guys like it or not you HAVE the position as PEACEKEEPER of the world and gives out spankings to al the "...stani" countries,but lately I've seen a total ***** plague hit youre young men,and dont know why?

Dude as Samnavy said,and you yourself said...."Youve never found something chalenging in life",well I'll bet you the millitary will rock youre world,GIVE you a sack,and straighten all youre **** out!

I KNOW THE FEELING OF FINDING NOTHING CHALLENGING.....I JUST FINISHED LAW SCHOOL AND TILL THIS DAY HAVE NEVER STUDIED MORE THAN 12HOURS FOR ANY THING......

Our millitary is FUCKED AND CORRUPT,I even offered my services to youre country and the royal marines but due to my country of origin (south africa) couldnt get in,went boxing instead,and I either got the **** knocked out of me or the boxing helped me to sort the ****!

But please for the sake of boost and mother theresa dont be a *****,man up,get youre **** out of its twist,get laid,and join something like the millitary that will shake you to youre core and make u understand the value and gift of a human life....

and always remember only 2 things in life that counts....
**** AND TIRES!

kotomile

iTrader: (24)

No you aren't. Looks like you could stand to learn some confidence in yourself.

Someone else's agenda, mindless slave for the government.. go listen to some more Anti-Flag, because you obviously have your own anti-gov't/anti-military agenda.

OP - I was in your shoes at the end of high school. My dad makes boatloads of money selling equipment he used to design as a ME, and I had zero clue what I wanted to do in college. I went to a local community college and took some classes, held some service jobs (waiter, cashier, tire installer, tire salesman) and felt like I was going nowhere fast. I went to a school in Jax for college prep/USMC JROTC/aviation so I had some exposure to militaryesque training already, but that wasn't much of a factor.

One day my recruiter walked in to my shop (was in tire sales at that time) and before I knew it I'd signed on as an intelligence analyst in the Army. Pretty good promotion, at least in title, from salesman to intelligence analyst, wouldn't you say? I took my time with the recruiter, though, and made sure to come in as an E3, and to secure a job I'd like. I had been looking at light wheel mechanic, but after I learned what that job really entailed I decided intel was more my speed.

Basic and AIT were a breeze (in hindsight anyway) and I did my first tour at Fort Gordon. After a couple years I decided being an analyst was boring and saw my career counselor for a crack at the DLAB and passed, so the Army sent me to school to learn Arabic and I passed, and now I like my job much better.

The military is a good choice if you want to prove yourself independently of any advantage you may feel your parents are giving you. There is always opportunity to improve yourself, to move up, to see the world (heh.), etc. And if you don't like it, when your time is up, get out and go back into the job market with the tools the military has given you! I'm looking at getting out after my new contract is up (just reenlisted for 30k) and I'll be looking at jobs making around 4x what I'm pulling in now.

jacob300zx

Awesome response!

WonTon

iTrader: (17)

Thanks man, I dont drink all to often though!

I try to be a good rolemodle. lol

thirdgen

iTrader: (26)

Everybody has a different opinion about the military. When I was 20 I was on my second full time job and I wasn't seein my life going in a positive direction. I enlisted in the marines. I passed my physical and my MEPS (I think it was called) test. They didn't let me in because they didn't like my post 9/11 views. My attitude towards the military? **** those jerk offs. I was born on this soil and I'm not allowed to use my precise shooting talent to place bullets between the heads of the enemy? Then again, who really is the enemy? Our own government? The Taliban? I'd love to know...maybe the majority of America voted for him. Doesn't matter much though, since nobody votes for any good reason anymore. It might as well be American idol. Let's vote for who can sing and dance the best.
Now I'm all revved up...****** America...land of the handout, the incompetents, the hand held *** kissers.

Faeflora

iTrader: (2)

How about you take my statements seriously. I don't give a damn if you or any other individual holds me responsible because a court of law won't. Free speech bitch. Suck a dick because not every person and the whole damn universe thinks that human life is sacrosanct. Some people are just wastes of life, parasites on society, and blights on the planet.

All you military hooah dipshits are just dumb pawns. I'll have you know that I've made thousands of dollars off "the troop's" sweat and blood while selling **** that will never be used to your bloated fatass granddaddy DOD. The milk sack of government waste is quite bountiful and when your comrades die at the hands of some confused stone age jawa who wipes their *** with their bare hand, other people are getting rich.

That said, what I really think is that it doesn't matter what you do in life as long as you own your actions and the consequences of your actions. Be happy with your choices in each moment because that's all you've got. Do that and you'll have my respect. Regardless of if you are military or gay or a fucked up squirtle.