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Old 11-18-2009, 06:11 PM   #1
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Default Bill Cosby Presidential Platform

Got this as an email fwd.


AMERICA NEEDS A CANDIDATE WITH THIS PLATFORM!!
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE YEAR 2012..
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1). Any use of the phrase: 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.

(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!

(3).. When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.

(4). All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

(6). Welfare. Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.

(7). Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports ... for life.

(8). Crime We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more 'life sentences'. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9).. One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10). All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes.. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it's a worthy cause.

(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

My apology is offered if I've stepped on anyone's toes ..... nevertheless......

GOD BLESS AMERICA.

Sincerely, Bill Cosby
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Old 11-18-2009, 06:30 PM   #2
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perfect, just perfect
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Old 11-18-2009, 06:35 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by icantthink4155 View Post
(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!

(3).. When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.
lol. This kind of crap is why I support the electoral college.
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Old 11-18-2009, 06:39 PM   #4
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And Jello Pudding Pops in every freezer.
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Old 11-18-2009, 06:42 PM   #5
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Pretty sure that's not legit.

Bill Cosby can't possibly be that stupid and unfunny.
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Old 11-18-2009, 08:04 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by deliverator View Post
Pretty sure that's not legit.

Bill Cosby can't possibly be that stupid and unfunny.
Yah my thoughts exactly

most of that **** makes no sense and is loosely based on some neo-conservative bullshit
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Old 11-18-2009, 08:13 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by icantthink4155 View Post
(3).. When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.
Ahhh protectionism. Gotta love it. Works very well and every time.
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Old 11-18-2009, 08:23 PM   #8
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#1 reminded me of some hic with a bumper sticker I saw while riding some trails on my quad.

It said:
"Welcome to America, speak English or get the **** out."

This was on a Toyota pickup.
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Old 11-18-2009, 08:29 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by curly View Post
#1 reminded me of some hic with a bumper sticker I saw while riding some trails on my quad.

It said:
"Welcome to America, speak English or get the **** out."

This was on a Toyota pickup.
bahahahaha

1) Im not so sure there even is an "official language"

2) Thats some of the most intollerant bullshit imho
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Old 11-18-2009, 09:06 PM   #10
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I see this every few years with a different celebrity's name at the bottom.
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Old 11-18-2009, 09:27 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by icantthink4155 View Post
Got this as an email fwd.
Not picking on you, but the author (who was doubtfully Mr. Cosby).

2) Isolationism is fantastic for our economy, the world economy, and will alter how the world views us in a positive manner. Not.

3) ::looks at Japanese vehicle, Korean TV, Japanese stereo, and decides he'd rather not pay 2x the actual cost, thankyouverymuch. Reminds self that if America wants to compete globally, it should focus on making a product people want instead of trying to punish those abroad who do.::

4) **** you, when I retire I'm going to either ******* RETIRE, or take a job more lucrative than security guard, thankyouverymuch.

5) How about NO social security?

6) Assuming you can complete the drug testing on site, no problem here. Grades are the more important thing.

9) Another type of isolationism, which wouldn't be well accepted and would be countered in the global market either by those who are affected or those who are angered by it. Not a good idea at all. And who says we should charge someone in a third world country $80 or whatever a barrel of oil is this week for our product? Are they the ones with the oil? Not very well thought out, this point.

11 & 12) Yes to Star Spangled Banner, no to Pledge of Allegiance.
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Old 11-18-2009, 09:29 PM   #12
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snopes fail.

right wing bullshit email fail.

racism fail. (we have no national language and the native language here wasn't english)

protectionism fail.

jingoism fail.

punishment fitting crime fail.

and worst of all bill cosby hates black culture fail.
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:08 AM   #13
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I like number 9.
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:30 AM   #14
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I love the "Wal Mart policy" part. Isn't thier policy to demand such low prices from thier suppliers that they are forced to manufacture abroad?
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:51 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1redcanuck View Post
I love the "Wal Mart policy" part. Isn't thier policy to demand such low prices from thier suppliers that they are forced to manufacture abroad?
not to mention the allegations against walmart for paying illegal immigrants under the table for significantly less than minimum wage
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Old 11-19-2009, 02:06 AM   #16
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We were warned by his username.
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Old 11-19-2009, 09:00 AM   #17
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I agree with these:

Quote:
(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

(6). Welfare. Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.

(7). Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports ... for life.

(8). Crime We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more 'life sentences'. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:44 PM   #18
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This hoax was also attributed to Andy Rooney and George Carlin in the past.

BTW, plan on using the same windshield wipers for the next two years. We don't (and currently can't) make those either. Blown rear main seal? Out of luck. Wheel bearing? just park it and wait two years.
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Old 11-19-2009, 10:23 PM   #19
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I just spent 2 hours in a lecture with me debating with the teacher about if voters can make informed policy decisions based on rational policy preferences.

He claims voters do.
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Old 11-19-2009, 11:08 PM   #20
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People are capable of rationality.

People are capable of acting irrational, and the vast majority make this choice.
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