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Old 05-31-2011, 11:14 PM   #1
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Default The Book of Renesis

Renesis

by
Sixshooter



Chapter One

IN the beginning Mazda saw that there was darkness in the land and that the car was without form. And Mazda calleth upon Tom Matano and sayeth unto him let there be jin ba ittai and there was. And it was good. And Mazda sayeth unto him it shall be called Miata and it shall be sent out abundantly before all the land and across the seas that all nations may believeth and follow. And so
it was sent forth abundantly unto all the lands and it was worshippeth by many as the one true roadster.

And so it came to pass in this land that there were people called Miatatites who praised the Miatas and did abide with them. In these days the Miatatites did build altars of burnt brake pads unto Mazda at road courses and mountain passes throughout the land. The Miatatites did hold up trophies unto Mazda and also did praise Him for his Miatas. They did abide in Mazda as His chosen people and they maketh not graven idols to SR20s and VTECs. But some amongst their number were elderly men who maketh unto the Miata abominations of style bars and windblockers and Mazda was ashamed and did facepalme. For Mazda did not send His Miata into the world to shame the world, but that the world might avoid shame through it. For all who have driven another have fallen short of the glory of Miata, but whosoever addeth a harness and tracketh his Miata shall be forever in the glory of the one true roadster.

And at that time in the land called Eng there were people called Brittons and they rose up against the Miatatites. And they prepareth to call on their god, Lucas, to smite the Miatatites. And the Brittons took up leather and felt and beams made of ash to their coachbuilders and they made a great altar to their god Lucas. And they poureth whiskey and all manner of warm beers out on the altar to Lucas and singeth their songs of praise to Colin Chapman and playeth their bagpipes and maketh obscene noises on their sidedraught carburettors before their god, Lucas. And behold, Lucas stirreth not, and they understoodeth not. And the Brittons cried out to their god Lucas and tore their tweed jackets and heaped petrol on their heads and played football with all their might and yet Lucas stirreth not and they understoodeth not. And so the Miatatites consumed them with great fury and smote them and smashed their idols to Lucas beneath their Pilotis. And the Brittons sayeth unto Lucas, “Cursed is the ground wire for thy sake.”


Chapter Two
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Old 05-31-2011, 11:49 PM   #2
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this is ******* retarded
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Old 05-31-2011, 11:54 PM   #3
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wut
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Old 06-01-2011, 12:13 AM   #4
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You catch the m.net failaids?
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Old 06-01-2011, 12:34 AM   #5
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I thought it was funny
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Old 06-01-2011, 01:43 AM   #6
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That... was so ******* awesome
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Old 06-01-2011, 02:02 AM   #7
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******* epic.
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Old 06-01-2011, 02:24 PM   #8
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Good **** (says the son of a Lucasite). In for subsequent chapters.
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Old 06-01-2011, 02:34 PM   #9
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In for mt.netbible
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Old 06-01-2011, 02:43 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sixshooter View Post
Tom Matano
Met that guy a couple times, down to Earth.
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Old 06-01-2011, 03:01 PM   #11
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10/10
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Old 06-01-2011, 03:52 PM   #12
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Love it! Can't wait for Chapter Two.
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Old 06-02-2011, 12:47 PM   #13
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Lucas?
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Old 06-02-2011, 01:11 PM   #14
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Old 06-02-2011, 05:35 PM   #15
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funny

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Old 06-02-2011, 05:54 PM   #16
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Awesome... waiting for Chapter Two...
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Old 06-04-2011, 01:59 AM   #17
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That was awesome!

What kind of horsehair seat padding did you just smoke?
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