Confession: I HONK at slowpokes
 

Boy do I ever. I'm always ready to honk at 4-way stop signs when I'm behind one, and he and another car at the intersection are at an impasse, both waiting for the other to go, frozen into inaction. One time I honked, and they *both* sprang into action, nearly hitting each other. Nearly pissed myself laughing.

I hate slowpokes almost as much as traffic enforcement cops. I don't mind slowpokes much if they're not in the left lane. What's worst is when a slowpoke drives side by side with a fellow slowpoke, blocking all lanes. That's when my air horns get a workout.

One time a Prius was accelerating soooo glacially slowly that he hit the timed lights just as they turned red. At the next opportunity, I passed him, and just as my rear tires passed his open window, I lit up the rear tires.

Any other confessions?

i take a back road to work and the limit is 35, people will do 20 down it. most mornings i just drive in the oncoming lane.

I try hard to control my road rage, but there's one specific situation that really just kills me for the 1.5 seconds that it costs me.

Approaching a 4 way stop. Another car is approaching from the right hand side (perpendicular to my path). Other car reaches the 4 way stop before me. Instead of stopping, and then continuing, they stop, and the WAIT till I get to the 4 way stop, then finally once I've come to a complete stop, they crawl through the intersection, forcing me to sit there and watch them.

Now, if I were in the habit of flying up to stop signs and braking at the last minute, then okay, I can see that maybe they'd want to be sure that I'm really stopping. But we're talking about neighborhood speeds. They could stop and then continue through the intersection well before I go through the intersection even if I didn't stop.

Kills me every time.

Oh yes, my first option is to simply pass at the next opportunity. But on a back road if I can't and said slowpoke doesn't use the turnouts with the big signs "SLOWER CARS USE TURNOUT", my air horns start getting excited.

I HATE... when you try and pass someone that is in the right lane... and as soon as you get up to speed next to them they accelerate to the passing speed... Forcing me to go faster. This happened on my trip home from MS, and it almost got me a ticket.

Speed limit is 70, I'm going 72. I'm getting passed by some people, and passing some. Well I get up to this car and go to pass, no one is behind me so I just keep going my 72 and start to creep past them. Then when I almost get head to head he starts going my speed... are you kidding me? So I start to speed up.. he does too. So I floored it and hit 80ish and go figure there is a cop sitting up ahead with his little radar. Well he pops a boner and pulls me over.

This happened like 10 times. After that If they tried that shit I would back off and get 2-3ft from their bumper... then when I can see far enough down the road for a cop check I fly pass them. Mississippi and Louisiana have terrible drivers.

I got an air horn on my new bike, but never use, I just blow past them. A smart rider always keeps 4-5 lugnuts in his jacket pocket for when shit gets out of hand.

In the miata, with no horn at all, the front license plate is used as nudging device. One day I'm going to put someone in the wall on the highway for being nuisance to me.

I have no horn...so am forced to be a complete and total asshole when confronted with idiocy on the road.

Like Bond, I've taken to 2 wheels in the past few seasons, and it's easier to twist the wrist than find the damn horn button. I hate tickets and all, but it's pretty easy to use spurts of speed to dodge idiots and resume your regularly schedule 5-10mph over once they are left with ringing ears from your shorty exhaust, 200yds behind you now.

I think my road rage gets worse every day. when I'm at an intersection, and directly across from me people are turning left in front of me because they have the green turn light, there will always be the assholes that try to get through at the last second.

When my light turns green i actively try to hit the stragglers. Scared the piss out of some lady on her phone once. I bet that's the last time she runs a red turn light.

I hate people that run red lights...I hate them even more when they're on the phone. I have, multiple times, turned around and given those people a piece of my mind..and sometimes whatever metallic objects I can get my hands on. It's something that kills and injures soooo many people but is completely preventable.

People that bum-rush a turn lane to cut up a line of traffic to get over. I block..I block like a mother fucker...and if the idiot in front me let lets them in..thei air horns get activated.

http://thatwillbuffout.files.wordpre...ts-exactly.jpg

^similar to the above mentioned is when there is a lane closure and the non-closed lane is backed up.. you get the asshole that drives all the way to the lane closed sign and then tries to merge. I cock block that shit like no other...

i'm forced to take a mandatory defensive driving class from my employer, due to a road rage incident i was in, in a company vehicle. nothing too much, brake check, :fawk:, and a "get off the phone you ----" i despise people that get close enough to see the threads in my top

Damn Calvin lol

damn you mike for not going to tech day tomorrow!

Battery power
 

A buddy of mine carries C and D old batteries on his road bike. Just make sure you have plan B when the driver does a U turn.

lead > battery


Brand is optional, I guess Dollar Tree will do the job.

This is probably my only vice. If I sat here for this long, he can, too.

When driving my quad cab 4x4 Dodge, which is big enough to claim "food chain" on most vehicles, I will slid up next to a semi that is already in the correct lane and pace him. Inevitably there will be a line behind me. When it is forced down to one lane, the truck driver who is also normally pissed because people slide in front of him every surge because he can't start and stop quickly, always let's me in, I look, point and always get a wave in. The cheaters behind me are stuck there, literally stopped. They have a tough time getting in because right at the merge it is usually picking back up to normal speed and they are parked there in the absolute head of the line and everyone knows exactly why.

Other than that, I don't sweat slow drivers or slow stop signs and I can't remember the last time I used my horn.

Better watch yourself on that shit....a guy I used to work with didn't come back from his lunch break one day. He shows up the next day and tells us a story.

He was driving downtown, didn't like how close someone was following him, and decided a little brake check was the correct response. The car behind responded by pulling even closer to his bumper and flashing his lights several times. So my coworker grabs a handful of quarters out of his center console, opens his sunroof, and tosses them into the air. Watches them scatter over the hood and windshield of the car.

Following car is now pursuing him, and he's a little worried. He's in straight up evasion mode now. Finally, he gets boxed in by traffic and the other car pulls into the next lane beside him and starts honking. He looks over, and the driver has got his police badge flipped open flat against the window. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

anyone who's ever been on the phone with me while driving can attest I honk at everyone...

I wish I had links to studies that suggest filling up all available road space (rather than merging early) reduces congestion. but it was only something i heard a long time ago on tv.

There are three actions on the road I hate pretty much more than any other.

1. Another driver who pulls out in front of you at the last second (when there's no one behind you) and then proceeds to drive significantly under the speed limit. Not only do you have to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting them, you now have to wait for them to get out of your way or for a possibility to pass them.

2. People who cannot comprehend how to function in a left turn lane when the oncoming traffic must yield when turning right. These are the idiots who wait until the road is completely clear of all traffic before making a left turn. There's an intersection like this on my way to work every morning, almost all of the opposing traffic turns right, and people sit in the left turn lane and wait. I'm glad I bought a very loud air horn.

3. The situations mentioned above where everyone is slowly pacing each other allowing no one to pass or when you attempt to pass and they speed up.

The book Traffic covers this issue. I read some of it, but it's a pretty tedious book....would be a much better 10 or 12 page Vanity Fair article.

I don't honk. But I got ways... ha haha hhaahhaaha

In a Miata you have to make yourself heard, because to most idiots you are invisible. Better to have a quick trigger on the horn and be thought an asshole than to have my car hit again.

On most of the multi-lane roads around here I have no problem just going around slow people. If I can't, it's usually because there's enough traffic that I wouldn't get very far ahead anyway. But I occasionally have to honk when the dumbass in front of me thinks it's a good idea to merge onto the beltway at 30 mph. Sometimes it still doesn't work, and I can see their confused eyeballs in their rear view mirrors as they wonder why the fuck I'm honking at them.

The only 4-way stops I encounter on a daily basis are on the grounds of my workplace. We have a lot of foreigners here, many of whom never drove a car in their native country. Many of these folks are incapable of pulling into a single parking space among an entire row of empty parking spaces without doing a 5-pt turn and opening their door several times to look down and check where the painted line is this time. So, at the 4-way stops here I racially profile harder than El Al airline security. If one of them pulls up at the same time as I do and has the right-of-way, I give them 01 seconds to take it before I take it from them. I don't bother giving them the wave to "go ahead" because they'll just try to be nice and give me the "go ahead" wave right back, and we'd be there all goddam night.

Slow people also piss me off if they're preventing me from tearing ass around off/onramps, but in that case I don't honk because it's just not reasonable to expect everybody to drive that fast. But some people are just so goddam slow it's like they think their cars will fly right off the road if they try to hold 0.2g through a corner.

Oh another thing...

This is on residential streets... Two lane road. I'm in the right lane, driving next to someone. No one is behind me. The person next to me speeds up to pass. So far so good. Then as soon as they get in front of me they turn on their right turn signal and slow down to turn right.

Why oh why can't you just slow down, pull behind me and take your turn. That way I don't have to slow down to 5mph. Gah.

I watch for this situation coming up all the time, then just gun it and BEAT them across the intersection. Gotta be quick on the brakes in case they decide to go.

OR, as I'm approaching the intersection, I stick my hand out the window, encourage them to hurry up and go with an insistent wave.

LOL, my wife is exactly the same way!

I am religious about avoiding this because it drives me crazy... but if there's a turn lane so I can get out of their way and enough room...

I was stuck behind a guy this morning who was doing 10-15 under with his right turn signal on and was waving out his window like he was washing an invisible one next to his car. I have no idea what he meant... he wasn't pointing... So he turns right onto a 4 lane road and gets in the left lane, I take the same right and go around him and he lays on the horn and waves like crazy again. He's probably one of those people that just keeps calling the name of a dog instead of telling them a command. Just tell me what's going on or what you want!!!

I do this, it's awesome. I also give a thumbs up to the semi guys who straddle the line to fight these bastards.

It makes sense, but the problem is with how we do the merging. If people read that X lane ends, they think it's the person in that lane's fault and job to merge and don't cooperate. If we were to 'combine' (for lack of better term) lanes then people would take turns and do a nice zipper-action and merge together. That's why roundabouts with restricted views make people slow down- they can't see so they slow down and have to figure it out like adults. Here in VA I've seen signs that say take turns or alternate and those lane ending areas are the most trouble-free.

All this signage is making people dumb drivers, but sometimes a lack of signage can create a 'panic' state- like the lack of an exit only sign, people will freak out to get out of that lane and do some crazy shit.

Oh, just remembered one that drives me crazy.

There are several places here where 1 road merges into another, EXCEPT it's not really a merge...the road continues into a new lane, so you don't have to yield, you can just continue on in the same lane, and then when there's a break you can move over if you need to.

AND YET! Despite the clearly posted sign that demonstrates existence of said lane, I'm ALWAYS behind the guy that thinks he has to yield, and sits there with his head craned back trying to watch traffic. Of course, the other lane isn't slowing down at all -- there's no need to, since the entering traffic has its own lane. And once that guy has his head turned watching for his "break" in traffic, there's ZERO chance he'll turn back around and realize there's a sign 5 feet from his door that shows the new lane.

I used my air horn today, it was epic.

i propose an awesome road system where every 2 miles, the right lane ends or exits and a new left lane is added from nowhere.

end result, ultimately all brainless left lane campers are shoved over to the far right of the road.

That would be horribly annoying.

LOL, I've been thinking about exactly the same thing!!!

Ooooooh, I have a variant of that that drives me nuts. Right turners where after turning right, they have their own, new lane, and yet... they stop and wait for traffic to clear! HOOOOOONNNKKKK!!!!!

We have that here in TX... if I'm thinking of what you are talking about.

Usually it's one of those roads that run parallel with the highway, and you 'merge' into off ramps. Well where the off ramp meets up with the road running parallel it just becomes a two lane road. The parallel road has the yield sign.

That is definitely a legit sign cause if you have to take a right, you only have a small amount of time to get over in the right lane when you are coming off the highway. So it pisses me off when people don't yield to me and I have to slam on my brakes and let them get passed me so I can get into the right lane without cutting them off.

But I could see how if there was no turn right after the yield it could get annoying.

The city of Atlanta is like that and it is horrible, because everyone is in a constant state of lane changing ! Avoid it at peak traffic hours at all costs...especially when towing !

i propose public floggings for leftlane morons
idk why this unleashes my inner Fuhrer, but fuck i want to kill these people
seriously, i can set my cruise @ 85mph in the SLOWEST lane b/c every ---- thinks they need to be in the furthest left lane

Sounds like the Bay Area too...

Fuck slow drivers. I think they should all be made into curry paste and fed to goats.

LOLz @ fooger's posts.


Yep, I remember seeing an article about "some seemingly asshole driving actually reduces congestion". I can't think of specific situations right now, but I remember thinking "people here are being too polite on the average, and are not optimizing flow by using available road road space.

The entrance into my apartment complex is a roundabout. Not a large one, maybe 15 meters in diameter. Takes less than 10 seconds to drive around if you're going slow. To the south is the entrance from the main road. To the north is the office building and a few office parking spaces. To the east and west are the gated accessways into the complex proper. Like all roundabouts in the LHD world, the designated flow of traffic is counterclockwise.

This afternoon was the second time in two days that, upon entering from the main road, I've nearly run head-on into someone just coming out of the east entrance and turning left to take the shortcut through the roundabout. It usually happens only once a week or so. Been getting worse lately. Always a female driver, always in a Lexus / Infiniti / BMW.

It occurred to me today, while I was in the process of slamming on the brakes in fact, that I'm driving a total piece of shit car that's already three different colors and has paint peeling off of every panel. And these asshat drivers are going the wrong way in vehicles upon which it would cost more than my whole car just to replace one fender.

I'm seriously tempted to just start crashing straight into them. Nothing major, maybe a little tap at 3 MPH. Just enough to crumple a fender or a driver's door, maybe take out a headlight cluster in the process. That'd be an easy $1,000 repair bill, and all I'd have to do it straighten out my front license plate a bit afterwards. (It's already bent.)

Some research into CA motor vehicle law is needed to determine whether I'd have any liability in such a situation.

Sounds like they are 100% in the wrong. Might as well give them a love tap... make them think twice about ever doing it again.

I give drivers a 4 second period when they're allowed to be a little slow in the brain. Any more than that and I'm on the horn. I do laugh at the ones that do stupid shit when I'm in my dad's crappy farm truck. It hasn't been washed in 3 years.

A. You won't damage my car.

B. Does it look like I'm going to do much to avoid it?

Texas has occasionally put up signs for construction that say "Merge Here" right at the merge points.

Try to hit a front wheel. Guaranteed to cause major damage, even at barely moving speeds. Wheels are not made to take that kind of impact, and will usually bend suspension/subframe. However, this will probably cause more damage to you. It's the reason I drive a 5-10 year old car; I never swerve for retards.


If someone is doing something illegal, and you collide, it's automatically their fault. Chances are, they will be ticketed as well.

Probably true, but also likely to tear the shit out of the front of my car in the process. Honestly, I'm not looking for max hitpoints here, just a nice compromise between not inconveniencing myself too much and causing a satisfactory amount of irritation / inconvenience to the other party.

I should probably start carrying a digital camera in the car at all times if I'm going to start doing this. Who knows- enough insurance claims for people hitting me and I might be able to get my car painted a uniform color.

I try never to make assumptions like these in re motor vehicle law.

I only honk at taxi cabs.

I like giving "student drivers" hell on the public roadways. Welcome to the road, bitch!

I confess I actually have no horn.

ha actually same here, my cavalier DD hasn't had a working horn for over 2 years now.

And yes, 70% of the drivers that piss me off and cause me to enact road rage are female (usually they're on the phone) and the other 30% are yuppies who fancy themselves street racers in their leased lexus.