Dear Mexico
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From: Knoxville, TN
Dear Mexico
Stolen from the DrunkRepublic.com blog:
Originally Posted by www.drunkrepublic.com
Dear Mexico,
How's everything going? We haven't heard much from you in years. Sure, there's the occasional kidnapping of American tourists, but there hasn't been anything fucked up come from you in awhile. That was, at least, until recently.
Listen, I'm sure you probably know what this letter is about, so I'll get straight to the point. What the ****, Mexico?! Swine flu?! Are you ******* kidding me?! Nobody has even ******* heard of swine flu. Why is it that every time you bring something to the table, it has to be something so fucked up. Yeah, I'm looking at you Montezuma's Revenge. Seriously, Mexico, are times really that bad for you? The only thing you can contribute to the world is some new fucked up flu virus that no one has ever heard of. Being the first to have something isn't always a good thing.
We've had our top scientists working on this problem ever since we first got word. Hell, we've even been discussing this with some of the other countries and they've got their scientists working on it as well. Well, except France. Apparently the day after the news spread, France surrendered to the swine flu and the entire country contracted the virus and died. We tried to explain to them that there's a chance we can fight it, but you know the French and their ***** ways.
So now we've got a global effort to figure out what caused the swine flu and maybe determine a cure for this ****. So far the top theory is that someone had sex with a sick pig. What the ****, Mexico?! We were cool with you ******* donkeys, sure, but pigs? Come on! Seriously, Mexico, you've crossed the ******* line this time. We didn't think that you would ever stoop lower than ******* donkeys, so we really didn't see this coming. I mean, a woman ******* a donkey is impressive. ****, even Thailand is impressed. There is nothing impressive with ******* a pig. That's just sad.
So the other countries and I have been talking and we have decided that there must be some sort of punishment for your actions. I suggested that we just nuke the whole ******* country and be done with it, but some of the other countries think you deserve a second chance. I really don't know why because you don't contribute anything to the world.
So here's the plan. A U.S. task force will be coming down in full hazmat suits. No, they will not be helping you. They will be hanging the new official anti-swine flu warning signs on every street corner in every shithole town and city in your dump of a country. These signs will serve as warnings. We are forming a new world police force ofmurderers and rapists volunteers that will police your country. Anyone caught ******* a pig will be shot on site. Once we find a cure for this **** you've given us, we will use it to cure all of our sick citizens. You will not be receiving the cure. That is part of your punishment. Maybe you should spend your national budget for the next 10 years on a chemistry set and try to find your own cure.
I'm sorry that it has to be this way, but you brought this on yourself. My original plan to nuke you has been designated "Plan B". If you ever **** up like this again, then the rest of the world has agreed to sign off on it. You have been warned.
Sincerely,
The United States of America
How's everything going? We haven't heard much from you in years. Sure, there's the occasional kidnapping of American tourists, but there hasn't been anything fucked up come from you in awhile. That was, at least, until recently.
Listen, I'm sure you probably know what this letter is about, so I'll get straight to the point. What the ****, Mexico?! Swine flu?! Are you ******* kidding me?! Nobody has even ******* heard of swine flu. Why is it that every time you bring something to the table, it has to be something so fucked up. Yeah, I'm looking at you Montezuma's Revenge. Seriously, Mexico, are times really that bad for you? The only thing you can contribute to the world is some new fucked up flu virus that no one has ever heard of. Being the first to have something isn't always a good thing.
We've had our top scientists working on this problem ever since we first got word. Hell, we've even been discussing this with some of the other countries and they've got their scientists working on it as well. Well, except France. Apparently the day after the news spread, France surrendered to the swine flu and the entire country contracted the virus and died. We tried to explain to them that there's a chance we can fight it, but you know the French and their ***** ways.
So now we've got a global effort to figure out what caused the swine flu and maybe determine a cure for this ****. So far the top theory is that someone had sex with a sick pig. What the ****, Mexico?! We were cool with you ******* donkeys, sure, but pigs? Come on! Seriously, Mexico, you've crossed the ******* line this time. We didn't think that you would ever stoop lower than ******* donkeys, so we really didn't see this coming. I mean, a woman ******* a donkey is impressive. ****, even Thailand is impressed. There is nothing impressive with ******* a pig. That's just sad.
So the other countries and I have been talking and we have decided that there must be some sort of punishment for your actions. I suggested that we just nuke the whole ******* country and be done with it, but some of the other countries think you deserve a second chance. I really don't know why because you don't contribute anything to the world.
So here's the plan. A U.S. task force will be coming down in full hazmat suits. No, they will not be helping you. They will be hanging the new official anti-swine flu warning signs on every street corner in every shithole town and city in your dump of a country. These signs will serve as warnings. We are forming a new world police force of
I'm sorry that it has to be this way, but you brought this on yourself. My original plan to nuke you has been designated "Plan B". If you ever **** up like this again, then the rest of the world has agreed to sign off on it. You have been warned.
Sincerely,
The United States of America
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Joined: Jun 2005
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From: Fake Virginia
Here's what the ****.
CAFOs (concentrated area feeding operations / feedlots) = bad news. imagine your kid going to school in a 10x10 room with 30 kids and two of them have the flu. then a third kid gets both and the flu mutates. and nobody can stay home sick. so they all get it and give it to whoever comes by.
now also what the ****: the company running most of the pig farms in mexico is a US COMPANY.
food for thought.
enjoy your cheap meat and paranoia.
CAFOs (concentrated area feeding operations / feedlots) = bad news. imagine your kid going to school in a 10x10 room with 30 kids and two of them have the flu. then a third kid gets both and the flu mutates. and nobody can stay home sick. so they all get it and give it to whoever comes by.
now also what the ****: the company running most of the pig farms in mexico is a US COMPANY.
food for thought.
enjoy your cheap meat and paranoia.
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From: Fake Virginia
I blame us because we perpetuate this kind of thing. we want cheap meat so we cut corners to produce it. and we have to live with the consequences of those cut corners.
see my deal isn't really telling people what to do, it's making sure they are aware of the consequences of their actions. most people aren't.
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Well, it was a funny joke.
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Joined: Oct 2007
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From: The coal ridden hills of Pennsylvania
Ya know I used to think this y8s dude is a pain in the ***, and it seems like he hates everything that America stands for, but ya know what..he's right. We as American's need to take some responsibility for our actions. We need to grow our own ******* banana's and say "**** YOU" to Nafta. If border patrol and illegal immigration is such a big deal, than we need to take our ******* skirts off and close the borders and put signs up that say, "if you cross this line you will be shot in the face by a .50BMG." I love this country to an extent. I'm so sick and tired of the pussified nation and everybody being offended by slurs and political incorrectness. People seem to forget where we came from, and especially, where we're headed.
Just my 2 cents. Anybody wants to cash it in, elaborate, but I really don't care. I am a thick headed PA Dutchman, so word to your mother.
Just my 2 cents. Anybody wants to cash it in, elaborate, but I really don't care. I am a thick headed PA Dutchman, so word to your mother.
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You can bet 9 times out of ten when there's a big media sensation people get their knickers in a twist but haven't a ******* clue about the truth of the situation. Don't worry this will disappear in a couple months. Remember those pesky pirates? They're already a distant memory. This is soon to follow. The sheeple are easily distracted by shiny objects and the entertainment news industry.
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From: The coal ridden hills of Pennsylvania
Tell me about it. People get JACKED when I tell them crazy **** like that I believe that Natalie Holloway didn't exist. That I think that was a government cover up to distract the media lovin america while some serious **** was about to go down. People are like, "how can you say that? How would you feel if your daughter went on a vacation and was murdered?" I'm like, "If that happened to me, nobody would really give 2 *****, and do you think that there would be a movie made about it?" If she was real then here's the story, she went to Aruba and got coked up and banged by 2 guys and she O.D.'d and they said, "**** this noize, let's dump this biatch." Game over.
Wake up and smell the bullshit.
Wake up and smell the bullshit.
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This is what we get for outsourcing ;p
Let's go and avoid all of the American employee standards/Health standards/FDA standards and make bank...oh ****, we made a disease...
Lets open up a class action on these *******.
Let's go and avoid all of the American employee standards/Health standards/FDA standards and make bank...oh ****, we made a disease...
Lets open up a class action on these *******.
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Tell me about it. People get JACKED when I tell them crazy **** like that I believe that Natalie Holloway didn't exist. That I think that was a government cover up to distract the media lovin america while some serious **** was about to go down. People are like, "how can you say that? How would you feel if your daughter went on a vacation and was murdered?" I'm like, "If that happened to me, nobody would really give 2 *****, and do you think that there would be a movie made about it?" If she was real then here's the story, she went to Aruba and got coked up and banged by 2 guys and she O.D.'d and they said, "**** this noize, let's dump this biatch." Game over.
Wake up and smell the bullshit.
Wake up and smell the bullshit.
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Joined: Jun 2005
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From: Fake Virginia
I laugh at jokes that are at my expense sometimes (if they're really good) but a lot of the time, stuff like this is passed around and taken as gospel and it just drives me nuts that ignorance and humor are accepted as fact.
America came from irony...
Religious extremists left their home country and came to a new land, displaced the natives and drove them into submission.
I may be embellishing
Religious extremists left their home country and came to a new land, displaced the natives and drove them into submission.
I may be embellishing
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Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2007
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From: Round Pond, ME
They don't get the irony.
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