Got a wrong number call.
 

2: Niamey is not going to make it
1: Sorry I don’t know a Niamey
2: But your number is in her phone
1: must be a wrong number or was someone’s number he knew before I had it. Is she a elderly lady?
2: Yes
1: She is propbaly the crazy that calls me at 3am and leave long voice mails, I have told her I’m not who she thinks I am and to stop calling
2: You mean you don’t know Niamey from church?
1: No I don’t know anyone for church and would never go to church
This is the part where she stops caring about her dying friend
2: Do you know Jesus?
1: no mam I have never met him and if I had there would only be clothing left across the world and then there would be peace.
2: O well I will pray for you to
1: No mam please don’t
2: O you should come to church, I feel this was meet to be, Jesus wanted this, this is his plan, he is speaking to me
1: Mam that’s the PA system in the hospital Jesus only talks to evangelical that have their own tv stations.
2: No he’s talking to me, he’s telling me to pray for you, to save you, please come to church
1: I’m going to go now.

At this point I would have said, thank you, hale satin but I’m not as fast with the lolz on pain meds.

The pain meds strike again

A co-worker of mine who just recently moved here from Russia had the misfortune of getting assigned a cell number that apparently used to belong to a ~20 something woman with several baby daddies. After several attempts to get a particular gentleman to stop texting him (the guy was really thick, like friend:"I'm a russian man", guy:"aww, whatever baby, I know u sexy"), he asked me how to handle it.

My suggestion: a heinous /r/spacedicks link for every text he got.

Convo went something like this:
Guy:"hey baby, want 2 get 2gether l8r?"
Friend:"Seriously, I'm not who you think I am, stop fucking texting me"
Guy:"Aw whatever baby, u just playin hard 2 get"
Friend: <Pic of a penis being forcefully clamped between two plates of plexiglass>
Guy:"Aww damn baby, u wouldn't do me like dat" (loooool)
Friend: "Are you fucking serious? Stop texting me, are you retarded?"
Guy:"u know u want it"
Friend: <pic of a penis with a corscrew in it>

He got the message after that :P

lol that can work, or it could go horribly horribly wrong.

Lol, at least you don't have to deal with those 3am calls anymore. Maybe Jesus is looking out for you afterall.

I average about one a day, always in Spanish and always rude when I politely inform the caller that he/she has the wrong number.

google voice lol

Michigan Professor Strips Naked In Class, Shouts 'There Is No F--king God' | NewsBusters.org

jeff_man, you need to go home and sleep.


quote of the day: