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Old 07-10-2012, 12:47 PM   #1
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Default Help Wanted ad place on my local street racing forum

Got a nice LOL reading the following Help Wanted ad placed on our local street racing forum. If this doesn't cause you to fill out an application I don't know what it will take.

i'm not sure i hate any of you enough to directly help you get a job here, but in case your current situation is somehow worse than working at NAPA i'll throw this out there.

the lincoln market is hiring for at least one counter position. i say "at least" because technically we need like four more people to be properly staffed. that's probably not going to happen though. instead, management will take the infinitesimally cheaper route of just hiring the absolute least number of people, and working them 'till they kill themselves.

the job entails cultivating a deep rooted hatred for the general public, accomplished by an endless stream of stupid questions and ridiculous situations. often times with less than five seconds between one and the next. you will also learn to be the ----- of any 'priority' account that dials our number, as well as the scapegoat for their inevitable mistakes.

many of the tasks you will be asked to do may remind you of stories from the **** concentration camps. for example; you may be asked to dig a 10 ft deep hole and pile the dirt one hundred yards away. the next day your job will be to fill the hole with the dirt from the same pile. on day three you will be told to dig the hole again....
just like that, except with car parts.

the pay is embarrassing, and you'll only receive overtime at the most inopportune times. for the most part you'll be sent home early or asked to arrive late, which ever is least convenient, any time you approach 40 hrs in a given week. do not be surprised if your manager shoves all the days you're scheduled to work toward the end of the week, and then schedules you to work the first 5 days of the following week. thereby requiring you to be at the store 10 days consecutively without overtime.
the store is only closed thanksgiving and christmas. if you work on any other holiday, you will not be paid extra. instead you will be given a floating paid holiday to use at a later date. it will probably be some random time when everyone you know is at work so you just sit at home and do nothing.

the benefits are good. given how terrible everything else is, it's almost surprising. the premiums for health dental and vision coverage are very fair, and the policy is extremely comprehensive. they match 401k contributions dollar for dollar up to 5% of your pay, and you're fully vested after only two years. you get two weeks of paid vacation after just one year working there. you can also buy stuff at a discount if it's for your own personal vehicles, of which you may have up to four. the prices end up being similar to what you'd pay from rockauto, but without the shipping or the wait.

if interested, go to NAPA AUTO PARTS

at the bottom of the page click on 'careers'.

i hope for your sake none of you get hired.
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Old 07-10-2012, 01:37 PM   #2
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Shame somebody that creative is working for NAPA instead of hollywood, or a major tv broadcaster.
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Old 07-10-2012, 01:39 PM   #3
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I just ------- lost it
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Old 07-10-2012, 01:40 PM   #4
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so are you going to apply?
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