How (and why) to Ramble on your goat sideways
08-13-2012, 02:52 PM
2 Props,3 Dildos,& 1 Cat
iTrader: (8)
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Fake Virginia
Posts: 19,338
Total Cats: 573
Does anyone else take hobbies way too seriously?
I can't go to the racetrack in the car because I'm not fast enough.
Can't go to the gun range because I don't shoot worth a ****.
Can't go to the gym because I'm a pathetic, weak ------ who basically isn't a man.
Can't play Forza because 12-year olds beat my ***.
Can't make sex with women because I've been poz-raped too many times.
How do I learn to lighten-up?
I can't go to the racetrack in the car because I'm not fast enough.
Can't go to the gun range because I don't shoot worth a ****.
Can't go to the gym because I'm a pathetic, weak ------ who basically isn't a man.
Can't play Forza because 12-year olds beat my ***.
Can't make sex with women because I've been poz-raped too many times.
How do I learn to lighten-up?
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08-13-2012, 03:43 PM
Tour de Franzia
iTrader: (6)
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Republic of Dallas
Posts: 29,085
Total Cats: 375
The realization that I'm not going as fast as I should in my car is really altering my state of mind. I should probably not even be a mod here considering my embarrassing level of skill and shitty car...which is available for purchase.
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9/10 Hustler, 9/10. You got me up to there.
08-13-2012, 04:25 PM
Where did this guy go?
don't be a dumbass, have some dignity. I was a beta male for a long time, then I took control of my life. It would be a cold day in hell before I'd let a girl who's cheating on me borrow my car, live in my apartment, or even converse with me. There are two options, behave like a normal human with me, or act like a trailer-trash ***** and stay away from me.
women want a bad-*** dude to **** them like a warrior and impregnate them; they want a ***** beta-male loser to raise his kids.
You need to be careful and hope this one goes quickly, but remember this post for the rest of your life or this **** will happen over and over until your alone, on your deathbed, while your 90-year old wife is chasing some dude on a cruise ship somewhere.
I can really see my old personality in you man...why don't you come hang-out in Austin with me for a week? We'll eat at cool restaurants, drive miatas, go to bars, and bring home several women. I'll show you what its like when you take control an demand respect.
women want a bad-*** dude to **** them like a warrior and impregnate them; they want a ***** beta-male loser to raise his kids.
You need to be careful and hope this one goes quickly, but remember this post for the rest of your life or this **** will happen over and over until your alone, on your deathbed, while your 90-year old wife is chasing some dude on a cruise ship somewhere.
I can really see my old personality in you man...why don't you come hang-out in Austin with me for a week? We'll eat at cool restaurants, drive miatas, go to bars, and bring home several women. I'll show you what its like when you take control an demand respect.
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08-13-2012, 07:50 PM
Blame Google for hustler's newfound weakness. All of his posts were boss until Google said they were too awesome for the internets and made him stop (or they weren't going to run ads here anymore).
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08-13-2012, 08:13 PM
The guy kept flaking on when we could meet, so finally he gave me the address and said I could pull them myself, and there'd be somebody at the house to take the cash. At this point I'm assuming this is an adult, and he's referring to a housemate or spouse.
Instead, it turns out that this is a high school kid, his mom is at the house, and the damned stupid bolt-through-clip fastener for the mud flaps are so rusted that whatever tiny piece of the backing clip is supposed to tighten down just spins when you try to remove it. Even if I could get the mudflaps off the car without destroying the rear bumper cover, I'd have to destroy the mounting hardware doing it.
Whatever mom was cooking in the kitchen smelled good though.
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08-13-2012, 08:14 PM
Elite Member
iTrader: (21)
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 6,593
Total Cats: 1,259
I don't get it. Looking at the new Hyundai Genesis online, and it says it's got nearly 350 HP. WTF? My late 80's Mustang had 225. You're telling me that this thing has more than a hundred more? Why isn't it a sub 5 second 0-60 dragster? How is it possible to keep from burning the tires off at every launch?
Why are the front ends so damned ugly?
Why are the front ends so damned ugly?
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08-13-2012, 08:24 PM
With me, it was with age.
I used to have to be boss in the gym, boss behind the wheel, boss at work, and bone only what others wanted. Always an ******* and never happy.
Now I'm happy being a lard, going to school, being single, and driving a new stock 40mpg shitbox. Just try to relax and if you aren't having fun with it, walk away from it. Auto-x was nice because you didn't have to worry about wrecking the car, no one was having to pass you, and if you hit a cone, it was all for laughs.
Before every run, I'd listen to this song...
If it doesn't loosen you up and get you laughing, you need to pull the dong out of your bum.
I used to have to be boss in the gym, boss behind the wheel, boss at work, and bone only what others wanted. Always an ******* and never happy.
Now I'm happy being a lard, going to school, being single, and driving a new stock 40mpg shitbox. Just try to relax and if you aren't having fun with it, walk away from it. Auto-x was nice because you didn't have to worry about wrecking the car, no one was having to pass you, and if you hit a cone, it was all for laughs.
Before every run, I'd listen to this song...
If it doesn't loosen you up and get you laughing, you need to pull the dong out of your bum.
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08-13-2012, 08:25 PM
I don't get it. Looking at the new Hyundai Genesis online, and it says it's got nearly 350 HP. WTF? My late 80's Mustang had 225. You're telling me that this thing has more than a hundred more? Why isn't it a sub 5 second 0-60 dragster? How is it possible to keep from burning the tires off at every launch?
Why are the front ends so damned ugly?
Why are the front ends so damned ugly?
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08-13-2012, 08:47 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 1,163
Total Cats: 12
I am the most Beta, of Beta-males. Bow before my depressed mediocrity.
I live life on hard mode.
EDIT:
I am the omega.
I live life on hard mode.
EDIT:
"Omega (usually rendered ω-male) is an antonym used to refer to the lowest caste of the hierarchical society. An omega is subordinated to all others in the community. The omega(s) might be used as scapegoats and are commonly the last allowed to eat."
I am the omega.
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