... for a minor political office. Not that I actually want to win said office, I just think it would be an amusing platform from which to lob horrifyingly unfounded accusations at relatively innocent people as a form of Dogbertian personal amusement, without actually committing slander in the strictest sense. For instance, while campaigning for a seat on the county school board, one might publicly observe:

 

lol

Just make sure it's something you don't mind doing IF your slander-free platform does land you a victory.

 

I've always wanted to **** 50 women at once in a room knee deep in chocolate pudding.

 

May we quote you on that, sir?

 

Slander opens up and relaxes in political speech. Brush up on your conlaw Joe

 

you may quote at will.

 

I will move to wherever you live and vote for you.

p.s. as long as you push for pro-cat legislation.

 

I could never run. WAAAYYY more dirt on me than I would ever get on them. I would never pass my own self-vetting process. I wouldn't want to know what would turn up when people started digging in the past.

 

Vote for Joe!!!!!!

 

How long have you been beating your wife, sir???

 

It's "So, do you still beat your wife?"