A Joke I Stole
 

So this guy goes into the little bar on the beach. He notices the sign that says, all drinks $.10. He throws down a quarter and orders a double shot of 40 year old single malt. The bartender gives him back $.15 and says, "All drinks are a dime". The guy asks, "How the hell can you sell all drinks for a dime?" And the bartender says, "I made almost a billion dollars when my company went public. All my life I just wanted a funky little bar on a beautiful beach. So, I don't need any money, and I love making people happy."
So, the guys orders another double and then notices four guys sitting at a table in the back. They are not drinking. So he asks the bartender, "What's up with those guys?"
The bartender replies. "Oh, those are Spec Miata racers, they are waiting for happy hour."

where did I just read this?
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So the moral of this story is that spec miata racers are poor?

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Heres a joke.

What did the tornado say to the coconut tree?(staying with your beach theme)


Hang on to your nuts, this is gonna be one hell of a blow job.

*rimshot*

A guy walked into a bar and said "OUCH"

/joke

A baby seal walked into a club....

:bowrofl:

A quadriplegic walked into a bar....

An Irish guy walked past a bar...

hahaha, that coconut thing had me laughing pretty hard.

A Jew bought the bar...

man walks into a gay bar....

"pardon me, may i push in your stool?"

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pirate walks into a bar
the bartender looks at him and notices there's a steering wheel sticking part way out of his pantaloons, "hey isn't that steering wheel a little uncomfortable??" he asks.

"YARRRRRRRR!! IT'S DRIVIN ME NUTS."

How do you get 4 gay people to sit on one bar stool?

Turn it upside down.

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

How am I supposed to get hard in 3 minutes when I just got laid?

fixed :fawk:

lol

These are good jokes lol

a little boy, about 6 years old, walks in on his older sister fucking her boyfriend
he goes "gosh, what are you guys up to?"
shes like" o god!, oh, umm, we , umm,, ::clears throat:: were praying!"
hes like "oh, ok"

next day, the same little boy walks in on his older brother fucking his gf
he goes "gosh, what are you guys up to?"
the brothers like" o geez!, umm, we , umm, !were praying!"
hes like "oh, ok", and goes on his way

a few days pass, and the little boy is sitting having lunch with his dad
the dad looks at him and goes, " have you seen your mom?"
son - "sure did, shes at the neighbors praying"
dad -" how do you know shes praying?"
son- "well, she was on here knees yelling oh god im coming"

lol

Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer......unfortunately Chuck Norris doesn't CRY!!

How do you get copper wire?

Two jews fighting over a penny.

What do you call the offspring between a Catholic and a Jew?









A Cashew

Are we breaking out Chuck Norris jokes?


If you have $5 dollars and Chuck Norris has $5 dollars, he has more money.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris's beard, its another fist.

when chuck norris enters a room,

he doesnt turn the lights on,

he turns the dark off....

scientist were recently able to tap into the power of one chuck Norris round house kick,
they said it powered San Fransisco for three months

A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of
turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the
bubbles. A while later a Priest came along and asked
the little boy what he had.

The little boy replied, 'This is the most powerful
liquid in the world, it's called turpentine.'

The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the
world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy
Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly,
she'll pass a healthy baby.'

The little boy replied, 'You take some of this here
turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass and he'll
pass a Harley Davidson.'

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

Vash-

I feel there is too much homosexual tension for chuck norris on the internet.

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men...that night all three will wear a leather bodice, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet again.....

The engaged girlfriend: "The other night when my boyfriend came back home, he found me with the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and a mask. When he saw me he said, "You are the woman of my life, I love you"...then we made love all night long.

The mistress: "Ah! Me too, the other night I met my lover in the office and I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say anything.....but we made wild love all night."

The married one: "The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night. I got myself ready- leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband comes home from work, opens the door and says, "Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"

A dyslexic walked into a bra...