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Old 05-08-2009, 01:40 PM   #1
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Default Losing a brother

A few months ago my oldest brother (56) returned from a deep sea dive trip. He was complaining of headaches and memory loss. The doctors at first felt this was due to the dive, and improper decompression techniques. Well a week later it continued, and so they did a MRI just to make sure. What they found is that my brother had multiple brain tumors, cancer. Now our father battled cancer for 6 years before it took his life in a most painful and drawn out death. So my brother being diagnosed was a huge hit to the family, as we did not want to see him go through what our father had gone through. He was immediately sent to San Francisco to be checked by specialists. This is when they learned that the cancer was inoperable, but treatable. So they started him on radiation and chemo treatment. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, his treatment ended. But as the week went on he started to slip down instead of recovering. The doctors felt that the chemo was killing him, and that they need to ride it out. So last Friday they took him in to do an MRI, and see what progress they had made. The results came in last night. He did not make progress, the cancer is NOT in remission, and he has a new larger tumor growing. The doctors are not recommending treatment any more. And have suggested that his wife talk to hospice, and the family seek counseling. He has one son that is in Butte Community college, and the youngest graduates HS in June. My brother is passionate about cars, and has been rallying and racing for almost 20 years. He is also the sole provider for his family, and owner of his own business where he was an only employee. He has friends and his son running the business now. When he passes the British car community is going to loose a very large and valuable member.

Who ever said real men don't cry is full of ****.

Here is a picture of my brother racing dad's car at Laguna Seca


a little history on the car for any one who cares
1954 Devin Panhard Information and History | Conceptcarz.com
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Old 05-08-2009, 01:53 PM   #2
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**** man, I'm so sorry to hear that. My best goes out to your family.
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Old 05-08-2009, 01:55 PM   #3
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Very sorry to hear man. :(
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Old 05-08-2009, 01:59 PM   #4
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I know that no one can say anything to make it better. This is a difficult time for you and your family, and I feel for you guys. You will all be in my prayers.
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Old 05-08-2009, 01:59 PM   #5
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Sorry for your loss.

My dad died from an inoperable brain tumor when he was 67.
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:22 PM   #6
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I am so sorry for your loss. To me, anyone lucky enough to drive convertibles around and race them lived life to the fullest. Along with deep sea diving, it sounds like he had a life full of adventure. Most will never get to do that for as long as they live.
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:32 PM   #7
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Life is precious and can be taken from us much sooner than we planned.

I had a brain tumor surgically removed and had radiation treatments in 2005. The recovery sucked.

This is yet another reason why you will never catch me sitting on the couch watching TV eating Cheetos and smoking dope. Life is to be lived fully, and if you wait until tomorrow to start, you are screwing up.

My sincere condolences to you and your brother's family. I hope they can find a way to be provided for...
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:30 PM   #8
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Thank you all, for your thoughts. Yeah he has been very active in his life. He was always a British car gear head. He got a 1964 Triumph TR4 when he was 20, and still owns it. He even raced it with CSRG for about 5 years, as a Triumph replica factory car. He had an E-type for many years, my fathers car, my 2nd Miata, and even a Meyers Manx. He was also the founder of Northern CA Time Masters, a group that did many rallies, and British car shows. Was an architect major at Chico state. So most of his bedroom set, cabinets etc were all built by him. Plus he has a Triumph Thunderbird MC that he rode quite often.

So yes a very active individual, and now he sits with glassy eyes staring at a TV that he is too week to even operate the remote.
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:35 PM   #9
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I am sorry. I am only 20 and I have lost many close family friends to cancer. Enjoy the time you have with him, and keep your best memories close.
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:40 PM   #10
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We'll keep him in our prayers.

I've lost almost all the male role models in my life the past 4 yrs. 1 to 2 dying per year. I hate this for him and your family.
Spend time with him, no regrets, make sure everything you could possibly ever want to say be said. It sounds like you guys are close. But say them anyway.
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:56 PM   #11
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Qckslvr -

My condolences, to you, your brother and the entire family.

I know some of the guys from the British car community. If you are willing, PM his name my way and I will help get the word out.

PAX,

- L
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Old 05-08-2009, 04:03 PM   #12
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Wow, very very sad to hear. Sincerely wishing for you, your brother, and your family to find the strength together to survive this incredibly difficult time.

My story is very different than yours, but I lost my younger/only brother tragically less than a yr ago. So know that my words are sincere.
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Old 05-08-2009, 04:32 PM   #13
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I have a brother and I cant imagine.

Stay strong.

I am sure the people that do pray, will for you and your family..
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Old 05-08-2009, 04:39 PM   #14
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I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I will keep him and your family in my prayers.
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Old 05-08-2009, 05:33 PM   #15
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Sorry to hear about the tragic events you are going through. Best to you and your family.
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:07 PM   #16
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I am so sorry to hear about your brother. Unfortunately, I do know what you are going through. My only younger brother past away in Feb of this year and it has been tough. Sometimes you feel that you are over it, and then something comes along that triggers it all over again. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:27 PM   #17
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stop spending time on forums and spend time with your family. its the only thing that matters in this world.
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Old 05-08-2009, 08:34 PM   #18
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This is always a sad thing to read and is diffixult to respond to. In 5 more days it will be one year since I was diagnosed with cancer. I was lucky and after surgery in July was pronounced cancer free, although the real milestone is 5 years, so I have a few more years to go.

The best thing you can do is support your brother as best you can and let you know you love them. I wish you and your family the best.
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Old 05-08-2009, 08:39 PM   #19
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sad story for sure, try to get some quality time and good memories in if you still can
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Old 05-09-2009, 01:43 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 99mx5 View Post
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. Unfortunately, I do know what you are going through. My only younger brother past away in Feb of this year and it has been tough. Sometimes you feel that you are over it, and then something comes along that triggers it all over again. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Damn, double bad news. Really sorry for both you guys. 99mx5, if I may ask, how old was he and how did he go?
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