So after working out in the garage most of the afternoon, I come in to make a yummy turkey sandwich. Grab the bread, turkey and some honey mustard and go to ******* town stacking up a SILF. So halfway through my well0deserved SILF, I decide I want a beer. While in the kitchen, I happen to glance at the container the turkey was in..and is now sitting on the counter by the garbage can.....and it said..... JULY 17 2009.

****. I am soooooo going to ******* die. I ate that ****...albeit only half a sandsich...but I put enough meat on that bitch to make 524 sandwiches for starving African children...so it was really like I and one sandwiches worth of turkey in that "half" I had already eaten.

I mean, as I was making that hoe I was eating some of the turkey and it smelled/tasted pretty normal.....

So i've taken up drinking a couple more beers and a nice large glass of Firefly in hopes I kill and toxic bacteria that was previously consumed.

FML.

 

Drink a bottle of pepto now, it should save you from the explosive diarrhea.

 

i bet you'll be fine

 

No Pepto in the house... and my car in not drivable right now and my GF isn;t here..... so i'm SOL on being stick in here for a few more hours.

 

Og the more I drink...the less I cares/.

 

Drink more and puke up the bad stuff!

 

July 17, wow thats some powerful preservatives. if it smelled ok its probably ok. but you should get your stomach pumped anyway.

 

fiuck thatr....I don;t have awayt to the ER....I'd have to call am wabulance to get there as I have no way to leave thehouse right now... i'm not payiong for a ******* $500 ambulance ride.....mother fucckas. Time for another glass of votka.

 

I don'te puke easilty fro mdrinking...not like im a regualt drunk...but I manage to hold my **** :(
I f I wewe out at a party or sumthing and runing around like a dipshits, I would get sticks as druinking + being overly physically activ = not so good.....but the most physical aticity I can get right now is watching **** and roloing one out.

 

Stop typing and drink more! MORE! MOARRRR!

 

Quoted to remind you what you REALLY typed after the sober editing tomorrow.

 

Your grammar however, seems to have gone by the wayside.

Quite possibly the greatest example of TMI I have ever seen.

 

Oi...I really awanty a damn cigerette but H ave none here...****.. and none of my friends are near by and can atke me to the gas station to gra b a pack. Oh well... more driunks?>

 

OK.. i HAS a question. Since firefly is just a flavored vodka and vomka is suppsed to teken in shots.... it's bad to drink hole glasses of it at a time? hell it's just like tes with a little extra kick...thats why I drink it right out of the bottle in a glass with a fe wise cubes to keep it cold.

 

Real men drink liquor from a glass. Women drink it in shots.

 

well in that casel....

 

I would think you would be fine from the turkey, however, the braincells youre killing are gone forever.

 

Later when you GF comes home and you are too drink to get it up. I'll swoop in to sooth her yearning.

 

i still have some FIrefly lef.t...and a couople bottle of Kaluah...

The glass of firfly pure I jsut purued


and the date of that adma turkwys..hahaha it loos liek that xhit expired in 2005 ...but i trust you..it' says 2009.

 

That stuff is great. Mixed 50/50 with water it tasted just like sweet tea.