samnavy

iTrader: (7)

BLUF: All of the parents are healthy and doing great, plus financially stable and I hope they live forever and send me daily text pics doing awesome things that I hope to do when I retire. And I also know that they all have solid end-of-life plans for finances and medical (long-term-care) stuff as required. I'm not worried about anything, really. We've talked about how easy they're making it for us kids when the time comes...

But, I just had my morning constitutional and there happened to be an old copy of the Economist in there that got me thinking... and I realized that I only have a very general/vague idea of that happens starting when I get to the hospitol and "identify the bodies" or whatever.

Lets say my parents are pretty normal... own their own house, a few cars, 401k accounts, a pension, social security, random stock-market investments, insurance policies, mutual funds, etc...

Now lets say they both buy the farm in a car accident tomorrow. All the greiving and crying and sadness aside, what happens next? Can anybody walk me through a 24hr/48hr/1week/1month/1yr timeline of the **** I'm in for?

DNMakinson

iTrader: (3)

Yeah, "normal" for privileged white people, you mean... Oh, this is not the Gen WUSS thread.

ryansmoneypit

iTrader: (6)

Watched my parents deal with this, for grandma. It will get VERY difficult and time consuming if you are not the designated power of attorney, during and after death. In our case, it was during the downward spiral of dimensia that my parents began the process. Dont wait until they loose their minds to figure this stuff out. Because grandma was still alive and breathing, it was almost impossible to take power. USA doesn't give a crap if your nuts. As far as they see it, if you can open your eyes, you are fine. Now get a person who cannot process thought to sign over power. Oh no, they cant do that because theyre NUTS the government says! WTF? what a catch 22.

Power of attorney
Video recorded will
hope for the best

not sure if I answered anything..

bahurd

iTrader: (8)

1. Durable Power of Attorney
2. Healthcare Power of Attorney
3. Living Trust Agreement (copy & location of signed original)
4. Will (copy & location of signed original)
5. Attorney name
6. Trustee name
7. 7 copies of Death Certificate
8. Financial accounts, Who, What, Where
9. Safety Deposit Drawer location if any with copies of deeds, life insurance policies etc.

Generally this.

Funeral home notifies the feds (I was surprised to call the Social Security thinking I had to cancel my moms only to find out "oh we already know that").
Trust & will dictate what the lawyer needs to do beyond filing Probate (like transferring property deeds etc).
Anyone you deal with will require a notarized copy of the death certificate.
Then you just start paying bills as they come in (utilities) until they don't anymore.
After the probate process the attorney contacts you to finalize the will, assuming there was one.

24hr - Funeral home/director regardless of burial/cremation
Let friends/family know
Secure house/property

48hr - Write Obituary
Handle Funeral/Memorial/Cremation details
Have mail picked up/forwarded
If no cremation, do you have a cemetery plot?

1-2 weeks - Call attorney

Ongoing - Resolving outstanding estate issues i.e. bills etc.

I'll add if I can think of anything else.

xturner

bahurd

iTrader: (8)

B Mike

Totally depends on the situation. If everybody in the family gets along, the beneficiaries are okay with everything and there was a well prepared will its nothing that can't be handled with minimal lawyer involvement and some red tape (you can generally handle the tape completely thru the mail). It's reasonably easy to gain immediate access to accounts to handle funeral expenses, but you need receipts and documentation. If there's any problems with anything from the first sentence, especially if a decent amount of money is involved, the sky is the limit for problems.
I was told people grow horns twice in life, when they buy a house and when someone dies.

samnavy

iTrader: (7)

I know my parents have the full "lawyer treatment" on stby. Roger the multiple copies of death certificate... I'll just ask for 20 and see what their max allowance is. That comes from the hospital, yes? Are these state or county legal documents, or is it on hospital letterhead or what? I'm pretty sure that what we've talked about is that I give all of that to the lawyer and he takes care of notifying all the necessary places. I think part of the deal is that he pays all the bills and closes out all the bank accounts... and I just sign and cash checks. I know that they've already got most of the funeral plans laid out already... even picked out their cubbies in the wall.

So how does paying taxes on all the inheritance work? Assuming there isn't any drama from my only sister (there won't be)... how do we "inherit" stuff like the house and cars and "property"? Bahurd mentioned "transferring property deeds"... but how does that work? What are the tax rules for inheritance?

bahurd

iTrader: (8)

Funeral home takes care of getting Death Certificates. They'll ask you how many. Where they come from I don't know but they're "legal documents"/forms.

Lawyer takes care of everything in the way of disbursement i.e. transfer to whomever or if property is to be sold, the sale of same and disbursement of funds.

Re: Inheratance tax... not easily answered because of the issue of trusts, wills etc.

.

You may have a state tax depending on the state. Some states have both an "Estate tax" and an "Inheritance tax". Yes, those are hands in your pockets....

I'm sure I'm glossing over something but it really isn't too bad especially if, like your parents seem to be, well planned out. My wife and I have 2 binders (one for each) with all documents and wishes.

shooterschmidty

Unfortunately I have recent first hand experience with this. My father passed away this spring and although his situation was quite a bit different than your parents' I can share a few lessons learned. First, make sure they have a will, and a good will. My dad was short on money and usually took the cheapest route. In this case, the lawyer he consulted told him that he didn't need a will if he took other steps (enumerated below). While that was mostly true, not have a piece of paper showing me as the executor of the will has caused some problems. Strangely, one of the most difficult things was to get the phone company to discontinue service without a will. Typically, if there isn't a will a probate court will appoint an executor, but in MN probate is only required when an estate is above a certain value, which his was not, so I didn't go through that additional time and expense. Second, make sure that you and your siblings are listed as the beneficiary on any bank or retirement accounts. In my case my brother and I were listed as the beneficiaries on my dad's checking and retirement accounts so those things also didn't have to go through probate. Third, look into a "Transfer on Death" (TOD) dead on any of their physical properties. I think this varies by state, but in MN my dad was able to create a TOD dead on his house that automatically transferred ownership to my brother and I upon his death. Again, this prevented the need for probate. Fourth, if your parents are anything like my dad, they probably have "collections" of stuff that you may or may not know about. It's an awkward conversation, but it would be hugely helpful to talk to your parents about what they have, what has sentimental/family value (that random glass may have been owned by your great-great grandparent), what has monetary value, and what is just kind of "neat". My dad was a bit of a hoarder so my brother and I have been sorting through all kinds of random stuff with very little insight into what is and isn't valuable. Fifth, know your parents wishes, both from a living will perspective as well as what they want after death. Heck, you can even ask them what music they want at their funeral. Finally, talk to your siblings early about what you'll do when your parents pass. My brother and I get along well and think the same way on most things which has made the process much easier, but I can definitely see how sibling strife could make the whole process a nightmare. That's about all the lessons learned I remember now, but let me know if you have any questions.

L337TurboZ

iTrader: (1)

I haven't had to deal with anything like that but my friends father passed a few years ago. Apparently he had gone to a doctor and found out his time was limited, he then had everything set up and ready to go. My friend didnt have much trouble at all with the transfer of property and finances. It just sucked that he didnt know the condition his father was in before he passed but his dad didnt want to be treated differently by his friends/family.

Most of us young people don't have a will which can be a problem for our parents or loved ones if we pass on before they do. Something to think about.

B Mike

Yes to the TOD and being on the accounts, that helped a lot. I would double check but there's a somewhat high minimum amount (1.5 million) before you have to pay taxes. Different states might have different state numbers, but I was responsible for a relatives estate in NY and there were no state taxes. And yes to having an in depth conversation with your parents. I'm procrastinating on one right now. The lawyer can handle a lot, but depending on the situation there may be an executor. Sometimes it's a lawyer, or its a family member. If it's you there's more work involved but you are given a percentage of the estate as payment.

zakiu

Hey a lot of us are privileged non-white people, quit leaving us out of the loop! *PRIVILEGED RAGE*

Martalley

If you're still looking for information, I'd recommend reaching out to a financial advisor or an estate planning attorney. They can help guide you through the specific steps and timelines involved in handling your parents' affairs after their passing. It's always better to have a clear plan in place, even though we hope such situations never arise.
After experiencing a recent loss in my own family, I've been exploring eco-friendly options for end-of-life arrangements. The Green Farewells webpage has some interesting choices for those looking to make more environmentally conscious decisions during such challenging times.

Erat

iTrader: (5)

Just a little info from my experience, from when my mom died.

My sister found her. This wasn't a "call 911" scenario, she was long gone. I happen to have a buddy in the "removal" business. Basically when you die, you don't call EMS(unless they're already in the hospital or some type of home) you just have a removal service take the person to the funeral home or crematory.
I recommend setting up everything in advance like funeral service, headstone, gravesite, ect. It just makes it way more easy. Do it now.
Now to elaborate from what Bahurd said;
4. Will (copy & location of signed original) - important if you have friends and family that believe they are next of kin.
7. 7 copies of Death Certificate - Yeah probably more. You'll need to send this to basically everyone.
8. Financial accounts, Who, What, Where - If you get a call from a CC company, and you don't know how much is owed, just send them the death certificate and never contact them again. Same for utilities. Mortgage payment. Basically everything that requires a payment. All payments were basically halted, service shut off, and that was the end of it. This worked for me. *This is not legal advice.*
9. Safety Deposit Drawer location if any with copies of deeds, life insurance policies etc. - Life insurance was really easy to deal with. Sent them death certificate, i was named as beneficiary, got a check in the mail after a few weeks. I believe my sister did too.

Having all the funeral and services already planned out ahead of time, plus having the removal service basically on speed dial made everything extremely easy. I suggest this. Contacting friends and family was a bit of a PITA, but i basically told everyone to spread the word and purposefully had the funeral at a parlor next to an Irish pub.

I never involved any attorney, or had any legal advice. But she didn't owe anyone any money and she didn't have anything to give either, so that helped.


This is a good thread. Great advice in here for people who may have to deal with this some day. They don't teach you these things in school.