The riciest person I know just bought a new car.

The old car: 2002 Ford Taurus, park-bench style wing on the trunk, underglow, stock rims painted gold, gold grill, GIANT NISMO sticker on the windshield (yes, NISMO), K&N "cold air intake" which was just a cone filter in the stock location. His performance mods were an intercooler (The turbo never made it onto the car), and custom exhaust which sounded horrible. Last time I saw it, he had primered the whole car, put green HIDs in the stock housings, he had some kind of strobes in all the lights, and he had fitted some LEDs to the headlights to mimic the audi thing. It has been rolling on the donut for at least 2 months. There was a lot more I am forgetting, but that's the idea here.

He comes running over and knocks on the door on Friday really excited to show us his new car. He says it's a Mitsubishi Eclipse, AWD, Turbo. I have my doubts, but it sounds like a vast improvement over the Taurus.
Turns out bought this car without actually looking at it. I'm sure he went to check it out, but he clearly didn't pop the hood because it is not a turbo. It's actually not even an eclipse, it's an Eagle Talon. And it's FWD. So instead of buying an AWD Turbo Eclipse, he bought a FWD N/A Talon with an automatic. He is the source of much amusement to me, though I almost feel bad for him sometimes.

And did I mention that he doesn't even have a drivers license? He lost it a long time ago (a year maybe? Many mods past on the taurus) for something and won't get it back for another month or so.

He seems to enjoy working on his cars, but he spends a lot of time re-doing things because he doesn't read instructions or get information about what he is doing before he dives in.

So, can anybody top this? I wish I could post pictures of this taurus, but I don't think I have any. I'll take a look.

 

Vash bought a talon?

 

A guy I know from work drives a 2 door, I think 06?, civic Si. He has a password JDM tow hook, 18" wheels...and he claims he beats EVO's all day long. He says, "off the line it's a dog until it cracks vtec, then it's all over". Oh yeah, fart can equipped.

 

I once put spinner hub caps on a 97 cavalier.

Also, my cousin used to street race in a Geo Tracker.

 

If he doesn't know how to work on it, an NA DSM was the smartest one for him to get anyway.

 

 

The first time I read the title, I thought it said "The Richest Person You Know" and I got excited.

 

Here's the taurus before he primered it, painted the grill and wheels gold, and messed up the headlights. The NISMO sticker is my favorite. I asked him about it and he couldn't explain it.

 

Ask him if his ride gets him women?

 

Is this a joke? Could anyone be that stupid?

 

Fortunately for me, since the tree fell on my taurus its been sitting in the driveway. Its pushing me to buy a newer DD that isn't a COMPLETE piece of **** this time around. lol

Last weekend was the first time I started it since halloween. I used it to take garbage down to the dumpster and spilt a bunch of **** in the trunk. I'm debating whether I want to try to get $1000 for it or push it off a cliff for fun.

 

Saw this at the 7-11 the other day. Yeah, it's a Sable with a VW logo.

 

Use to see a Dodge Caravan back in Cali driving around with chrome spinner hubcaps and a "Powered by Honda" windshield sticker with cut springs.

Edit: Buddy sent me this.

 

I know I guy with an Oldsmobile alero 2.4 with green strobing underglows 2 layers of autozone tint done by him, huge blue tear style graphic up the side, giant harbor freight brand tach (automatic) , monster logo in the back window and a "sneaky p nawz system" that is so hidden you can't even see it cause all the street racing he does.lol

Still think the taurus has him beat though.

 

... Umm. Also on my crashpad, and my center console door

 

SWAG

Friend of mine went through a ricer phase but we did that **** right.






Started out he got "sponsored" and put a bunch of stickers on his car for **** he didnt have. Then when we all had quick cars he got tired of getting drug, we talked him into making it fast.

Turbonetics kit, ported head, reground cams, MAS BOOST. BLAH BLAH BLAH. Quick for a tC.

He saw the light though and has an Full size chevy truck now thats LS1/T56 swapped. Got 4.56s out back, a nasty cam and head work. Runs good for a truck.

Getting the transplant
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We used to go hard park and troll people.

 

There was this kid in key west who used to go to all the local meets and never had a car. He claimed that his 550whp sti is in the shop getting "turbo tuned" and "methanol injection tuned" and "intercooler nitrous sprayer tuned".

But alas, he shows up to a meet with a subi. A wrx with a sti wing, sti hood, sti window wing thingy, sti badges, sti interior pieces and sti stickers. But....he thinks it's a real sti and starts yelling that it is and that is runs a T88 and "stage 5 rally gears" and recently went down the track with a pass of " ******' 10 seconds at like...at like 160, *****" Mind you this is a spoiled, white kid w/ parents who just bought him the car just to shut him up.

When we tried to tell him that his car was a near stock wrx (intake, fart can, bov) and that it was slow as **** and he was a gaping **** box, he would flip out and tell everyone to "run me when my ***** tuned, dawg...see what happens. Tell me my ***** fake then, dawg."

This was a few years ago and we all still joke about it. I guess I was just jealous of his car wisdom, like when he told me I needed a boost controller for my supercharger.

 

Oh, it's no joke. And it's so much worse now. I wish I had a picture of it with its body kit (that's why it's primer gray). I forgot to mention the body kit, didn't I?

 

Oh wow. Throw a tow hook on it and it becomes a real ******* race car.

 

This guy used to troll us at taco bell. Not me videoing