Road-rage retaliation how-to thread.
 

What methods have you used to quickly humble a road-raging driver?

I had a driver raging on me last night. I was in the OTM. Merged onto one freeway from another, followed me up the cloverleaf ramp while I was behind several cars myself. Merged onto a 4-lane freeway with no traffic. I jumped from lane 4 to lane 3 to get around the car in front of me, at the same time, the car in front of me also jumped to lane 3 to get around the car ahead of him, so I jumped from lane 3 to lane 2. The SUV behind me was of course also trying to get around me, and apparently didn't like that I had moved all the way over to lane 2 - probably because that's what "he" was going to do. I made it up to my speed and set the cruise, expecting this guy to move to lane 1, to pass me, which he didn't. After about a minute of him tailgating me (couldn't see headlights in my rearview mirror) I simply switched off the cruise and let my SUV coast. I literally coasted from 75mph all the way down to about 25mph in lane 2 of the freeway before he finally decided to move to the far left lane and go around me. At this point, I was over it and content to go on my merry way - until he decided it was his job to try and intimidate me by coming over into my lane. You fu*king piece of $hit - don't f*ck with me. I've got bigger cahoonas than this dude, and I'm much more willing to close the distance between the two of us than he is. After quickly "convincing" him that he's better off not occupying the same space as I, he decides to pace me from the left lane with his front wheel at my back bumper. I'm about a mile from my freeway exit. I'm in a heavy Mitsubishi, not the fastest SUV in the world. This guy is in his shiny new infinity FX 35.

Working on the principal that you're not going to reward some a$$holes disrespect, what would you do?

It's obvious.

Whip my penis out and masturbate furiously while looking deeply into his eyes.

Turn off lights and start swerving. Works everytime for me.

Be glad you're not in a Miata...

Road rage is pretty dumb and I usually use the slow down/brake check method if someone is raging on me... Beyond that, a quick phone video and call to the cops usually quiets ppl down.

A guy I used to work with decided to "get even" with a car that he felt was following too closely behind him. He opened his sunroof, tossed a few coins straight up, and then watched as they rained down on the hood and windshield of the tailgating car. The car then pulled up next to him and the driver started was yelling and fishing for something below the window so my coworker floored it and left him in the dust.

Later that afternoon he got a call from his parents. They said the police had contacted them trying to figure out where he worked. The tailgating car was actually two plainclothes officers, the driver had been pulling out his badge when my coworker took off, and now there was a warrant for his arrest.

Win!

I can't help that when my top is down, various objects may be picked up by the air moving through the cabin...such items include old lighters, pennys, nuts, bolts, nickels and lit cigerettes. The beauty is that this "wind" can pick objects up and the driver (me) never has to make any obvious moves that an object has succomb to the forces of air pressure.

I once had a lady run a yield sign right in front of me...looking me dead in the eye the whole time. When we came to a stop light down the road, I was able to flick my cig over her car and onto her windshield.

I had some chickenheads dive across 4 lanes on the interstate, cut the gord and almost side swipe me. I gave them the finger and the just started laughing. A Nissan Rogue is a large target for projectiles. I pulled back up next to these two whores, who were still laughing, and zipped a small Bic lighter at them so hard that the lighter exploded upon impacting the corner of the rear pass. window. Unfortunately it did not shatter the glass. But they stopped laughing with a quickness. They could not catch me as much as they tried.


This is also why my tag looks like....

https://www.miataturbo.net/attachmen...ine=1333470315

I don't road rage, but I do get upset at idiotic drivers. If someone is harassing me, I simply slow down and let them go by. I have never had anyone continue to harass me at 25 mph on a freeway, but I guess that guy was particularly motivated.

Ultimately, I would have watched him float around me trying to irk me and done nothing.

Doing 25 on the highway is technically illegal.... :giggle:

I show zero reaction, until traffic opens up and I harness 300 horsies.

I usually just completely ignore road rage unless I'm having a particularly bad day and am on the highway so there are no red light stops for them to get out at. Then I usually box the other driver in and keep them at a relatively slow speed so they can't pass. I never make eye contact though because I need to focus on the road and this usually just irritates them to the point that they follow you.

Sorry to be Buzz Killington but...

Engaging a road rager is almost always dumb and more so in those states that allow concealed carry or "glovebox carry." Think about the upside / downside or risk / reward in that situation. Best case scenario, you "teach them a lesson" and the rager decides it is a dumb thing to do and never does it again. Which is great for everyone else on the road but you are almost never going to encounter that now-redeemed person again.

Worse case, you and several completely innocent bystanders are killed because two people couldn't keep their egos in check.


I know Someone very well that was the type of person who was so filled with rage that they once followed another driver under a similar scenario as outlined above (Someone was passing a person that decided to move in to his lane to show displeasure with the passing maneuver). Someone decided he was going to follow That Guy and have a long talk about proper road etiquette. So Someone tucked behind That Guy, started blasting some "pump up" music and followed for several miles. Meanwhile, That Guy was scared appropriately shitless and called the cops.

Someone was felony stopped by about six patrol cars and spent the next 36 hours incarcerated. Why? Because he was "not going to reward some a$$holes disrespect."


Risk management is not just for your portfolio. What do I do if someone is riding my ass? I take a deep breath to try and control my Neanderthal temper and then I move over and wave apologetically and do nothing to further antagonize that person because there is a good chance they have less to live for than I do.

See, I don't have many issues with people raging on me. However, I will show my displeasure for ignorance/carelessness/lazyness/retardation. If someone is tailing me, I might be apt to toss something in the air if my top is down or illumninate my brake lights to acknowledge them. But most of the time I'm driving a bit faster than traffic anyway, so my run-ins with tail gaters is low. Most of the time is some dumb older b!tch on the phone in a SUV...who is generally not going to be a physical threat if I decide to demonstrate my superior stopping abilities.

About the "craziest" thing I've done was chase a taxi driver down. This guy just blew through a stop sign/shopping center exit across 3 lanes of traffic with no regard for oncoming vehicles (me) and wasn't even doing so like he was in a hurry or anything. That time I did hit the brakes and snap a u-turn with the intent to intimidate...which I did because he wouldn't get near me. I ended up folling him for a few miles and I could tell he was in panic mode by his rash decisions of where he was going (in circles). Now I was monitoring his safety too; if started running stop signs or speeding and showing even more disregard for safety, I would have backed off. But he didn't He was just making random turns with no blinker down streets that only lead him back to where he started. I eventually just turned off somewhere else and went about my day. He knew I was mad and he knew why...I jsut needed to remind him that not everyone puts up with that sh!t.

God I hate taxi drivers. I will block, brake check, slow down and honk the sh!t out of them with almost no provocation..I hate them all...all of them in Atlanta suck ass hardcore and act like they don't have to follow any rules of the road. Need to drop someone off? Sure, just stop i nthe left lane of travel across the street and let them out into the median. Waiting to puck up drinks from the bar? Just hog multiple lanes of traffic with no warning and proceed to pull out and make an illegal u-turn across 5 lanes of traffic without signaling.

---- I've tried everything from letting it go to getting out of the ------- car. :vash:

I probably couldnt write MOST of what I've done, because I'd hate to somehow have it come back to bite me in the ass.

But I've put myself, my friends and worst of all, my gf's in bad situations plenty of times. I'd like to think I've grown up a lot since those days, but I know I'd still get out of the car and break someone's nose in a heartbeat if there was no other choice.

One time I pulled a 180 in the middle of the road, movie style, and ran up on this guys ass until he actually pulled over. I then proceed to threaten to beat the ---- out of him and his 3 friends, all the while not one of them got out of the car. When I turned around and chased them I had no idea there was 4 of them. So it could have been me on the ground, beat to ----, but we'll never know.

Life's too short to get wrapped up about little stuff like this. My wife is a hand flailer when someone does something stupid. She is also a honker. I just let it go. I think I have used my horn literally once or twice in the last three years. I'm of the opinion that if I never did anything stupid or inattentive while driving I would be inclined to react differently, but I know better.

I honk to get people's attention. The last time I honked for a reason other than alerting someone was when I watched a full-size Chevy pickup roll through the stop sign at the end of my (residential) street at 35+ MPH and I could see some neighborhood kids not 20 feet away from the intersection. I was pissed and wagged my finger at the drive as he passed me. One of the kids called called out "Nice one!" as I drove by.

I dont have a problem with this because i am usually the -------.

If someone gets mad at me, i give em a friendly wave.

I honk to show disapproval of maneuvers like cutting me off and trying change into my lane while I'm still in it. That's it.

Oh wait. The other day I honked and yelled at a woman who tossed her cigarette butt out the window. That was a first for me. I will also flash my lights at retards who litter like that.

I actually have respect for aggressive drivers. 1000% better than super slow idiot fuks who sit 6inches from the steering wheeel

Is there a way to rig up a brake fluid spray? That might be fun for tailgaters... the next day, they see their paint melting away? Maybe a can of yellow spray paint and just let it fly from beneath my rear bumper?

Thats a great way to cause an accident or possibly get arrested

Might just as well spray an oil slick followed by smoke screen a la olde skool.:facepalm:

Those people that are stating that road rage isn't worth it are right. I read stories all the time about people who responded to road rage and ended up in the hospital or dead and the other person behind bars. Nothing good ever comes from it but plenty of lives have been ruined because of it. However, I occasionally find that I am unable to control myself, although it is rare.

I used my horn this morning when a woman tried to move from the far right lane (of a 3-lane roadway) in to a left turn lane. Why did I honk? Because my car was between her and the turn lane and she was not aware of it until I honked. :facepalm:

I thought about the oil slick - works great in video games, but in RL, how do I keep the next 1000 cars from dying on it too?

How long am I supposed to ignore a rager who is aggressively raging on me? Hell, I slowed down so he would go away, and he didn't.

I would just call the police if they persist. I know in Florida road rage is a serious crime. It just isn't reported very often.

If the rager is a shitty driver and accidentally nerfs you trying to teach you a lesson after you slow way down and then make a move back at him, how do you stop yourself and the next dozen cars from dying from it, too?

I completely understand this was not your intention and I am completely on your side in that Mr. Rager should have used the open left lane to pass you and get on with his life. That said, you slowing way down would have been interpreted by Someone from the story above as a provocation or an escalation.

"Ok, -------... First you cut me off and now you are going to slow way down? It's on!"


The most effective things to calm my temper besides general age and maturity? Taking up firearms and Muay Thai as hobbies. The former taught me that way more people are armed than I ever realized and not all of them are even-tempered (or very accurate). The latter, especially training with an elite MMA school, taught me that (A) I was not as bad ass as I thought and (B) there are no weight classes on the street.

I generally don't give people reasons to get upset, and if they get upset regardless, I tend to ignore them. These kinds of situations can escalate quickly and trying to show up some idiot isn't worth me potentially getting my ass beat or running into legal consequences.

There was one time when somebody was tailgating me so I slowed down(only to 40 on a 45) and this guy was getting peeved. There was lots of oncoming traffic so he didn't have much of an opportunity to pass me, and when he tried to, I sped up the first time to block him and let him pass me on his second attempt. He then drove slowly in front of me(about 30) so I ripped past him when the road eventually opened up into two lanes. This guy was obviously pissed so I turned into a street that was a few streets after my own. He followed me in and blew past me on the residential road. I didn't dare try to outrun him because racing through a subdivision is generally a bad idea. He parked his truck at an angle in the middle of the road, got out, and screamed something. I ripped the hand brake, did a 180, let the launch control get to about 10psi while my buddy had his middle finger out the window, and took off. I had a 300whp, externally gated, wrx at the time so we took off in a hurry and made a lot of noise. In hindsight, this ended up being an amusing story, but if this shirtless redneck ass ----------er had a gun in his truck and were mad enough to use it, I probably wouldn't be chuckling while writing this.

Dead serious:

Wave, smile, and blow a kiss.

It pisses them off to no end.

Drive big ol' shitboxes like my previous car, an '89 ex-squad Dodge.
Years ago if someone wanted to play the 'I'm going to hit your car with mine' game, I'd let 'em. Or steer into 'em, but stay in my own lane. They back off real quick.
(One look at my car they should have realized I didn't much care.)

Next: follow 'em. Don't yell, become angry or speed. You're patient, calm, you've got time. Wherever they go. Great fun. They gotta go home sometime, and soon they figure they don't want you knowing where they live. Scare's hell out of 'em. :rofl:
(Damn stalking laws nowadays make it a bit sticky though.)

I had to break off once because the idiot started running red lights to get away from me. If he had hit someone, I'd have been on the hook for it.

Best bet now is to have a video cam hooked up and running at all times. Just keep the crashes and ragers for evidence.
I figure people who are stupid enough to 'road-rage' are stupid enough to do something really stupid.

Unless you get felony-stopped, your car impounded and you locked up for several hours because the person being followed decides to call 911 (as happened to the Somebody character in my post above). :ohnoes:

Brian Regan had a pretty funny stand-up skit where he talked about being the person that did something stupid and pissed off the driver behind you. It was something like the "I'm an idiot wave" as a type of "my bad" gesture. If you can find a YouTube of the routine, I suggest incorporating that in to your response as it might confuse the rager enough to distract them from their righteous indignation. :D

My HS soccer coach was followed and stabbed for honking and passing someone on a snowy two lane road. Stabbed yo!

I'm usually the road rage-er. If you piss me off I yell obscenities, honk the horn at you for as long as I think you can hear it, shoot the bird, ect. I have followed people who almost hit me twice in the last few months, I'm only an assshole to those who fuckk up and deserve it.

It just connected. You are the Someone, Scrappy?

---- Shearhead, listen to the man. Take his advice.

I road rage when I get bright lighted by big ass SUVs so, I let them pass and try to bright light them back and I realize I can't cause I'm in a little damn Miata.

Fuck that. I do not fear man, I do not fear death.


*I do fear Drill Instructors, but they are machines.

All the punk bitch fluffers in here are such hardcore badasses on the internetz but would probably shit themselves if the person you're RETALIATING against RETALIATES even harder and fucks your shit up.

Then its like "OMG THIS CRAZY BASTARD nearly killed me, I'm just a poor unsuspecting victim, BAWWWWWWWWW"


/threadrage

:giggle:

It's the careless drivers that nearly kill me that make me go from calm to "I want to slit your jugular with a rusty fork in .5 seconds". I really don't get people raging on me and I'm not a generally aggressive drive to the average road-going population. I rage on those with blatant disregard for the law and my safety. I know it comes down to the fact that I pay attention to the road, which leads me to pay attention to other drivers constantly which brings me to see how sh!tty other drivers are when it is so incredibly easy to pay attention to what you are doing and keep your fellow motorist in mind.

I compare these drivers attention span to those who will read a FS ad on here, quote the OP and then ask a retarded question that they answered in their own posts because they quoted the OP which includes the answer to their question.

Typically I don't have people rage on me because I'm pretty observant of everyone on the road. I'm usually the one that rages on other people because they cut me off or run a red light trying to save .5 seconds off their drive to work. People in columbus jockey for position all the time and it annoys me to no end...

It's someone that I know well and I can confirm that the stuff mentioned above actually happened. That's some real talk.

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...w3B0DGG9hVMvkQ

I've been raged on a few times in the last couple of years in Texas. I'm a freakin honker! Lets just say I have something in my center consul that scares people. The best retaliation for tailgaters is to clean your window until they back off.

The 2 things that piss me off more than anything are TAILGATING AND DRIVING UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT!!! :vash:

When someone is tailgating me I have a hard time thinking about anything other than killing them.

When someone in front of me is driving too slow, holding up traffic, I just want to smash into the back of them and run them off the road.

Obviously, I cant do either of these things. So most of the time all I end up doing is raising my own blood pressure. My gf hates driving with me and says I hate everyone and I'm a hypocrite, but I know she doesn't know what she's talking about.

At one point in time I was going to attach a length of fish tank airline to my windshield washer bottle, run it into the trunk and piss in the tank. This way if someone decides to tailgate me, I'll just piss on them. I never did it though. :hs:

Oh man that would be epic. Hot piss all over their car. The smell would be horrific

Thats a really good idea. If you leave piss in a bottle for long enough the smell is horrendous, especially if its in your hot trunk.

and you can reextract your meth.

Yeah, but think about how INSANE you would be if someone sprayed piss all over your car. Especially if you had the windows or top down.

The only reason I passed on the idea was I figured someone would either kill me or I'd get throw in jail. lol

I know a 40-50 year old guy who got out of his car at a stoplight (to explain to the teenager why he should be more careful) due to road rage. His dumb ass spent the weekend in jail and had to hire a lawyer over that bit of stupidity. He's lucky he didn't walk up to me at a light because I would have shot him. This is 2012 and it is not worth the risk to be screwing around on the road.

Yeah, you could get charged for that probably. Maybe just use water?

Not as fun. Maybe milk? I can haz breast milk on my windshield?

It would get chunky and clog up the tube. Water with yellow food coloring in it maybe.

I like brights when people pull out in front of me. When you have some bright beams plus some, they get the idea.

I also like the brakes when people have a lane to pass but choose to ride the tail gate. With as many deer as we have here, its safer to do that then wait till your in between a deer and an asshat driver.

Ever since I put the S&W sticker on my car, people immediately quit jacking with me in traffic.

If you could get it to mist a little, olive oil would be great. Goes on in droplets, turns milky and semi-opaque when you use the washers. Probably won't hurt the paint, either. A friend demo'd it for me once, but I never tried it in real life.

Real Life? And it worked?

Counter-argument: Do you really want to obscure the vision of an already terrible driver?

The best anti-tailgating weapon I ever had was my old FC. It would throw some pretty decent flames when you let off, so when somebody was really close I'd spit a few flames and they always backed off. I'm pretty calm otherwise though.

True, probably not. However, road rage and responding to it aren't terribly rational to begin with. Might at least make them someone else's problem.

I don't care. In a car I'm willing to do something like this in is not a car I care a whole lot about if its balled up.

The choice is simple. I just pull out a rocket launcher and let God deal with them.

Yes, worked surprisingly well.

Bingo.
This is why I think everyone should have a motorcycle as their primary transportation for at least one year. One will learn that no matter if you're wrong or right, if a vehicular altercation should occur, you lose.
You will learn to take responsibility for yourself. Raging does nothing for you but lose your focus.
Deadly on a scoot.
Such is life on the street.

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